Podcast/Blog

Kimberley Quinlan Is anxiety running your Relationship podcast

Learn the 3 hidden ways anxiety impacts relationships and discover CBT, ERP, and ACT tools to build deeper, healthier connections | Ep. 489

In This Episode, I’ll Discuss:

  • Why reassurance-seeking can feel like intimacy, but actually keeps both anxiety and relationship stress alive.
  • The surprising way criticism, blame, and frustration can become anxiety-driven attempts to create safety and control.
  • How accommodation happens when partners unintentionally rearrange their lives around anxiety, and why it often makes things worse.
  • The subtle ways anxiety can keep you from true vulnerability, authenticity, and emotional closeness.
  • Practical CBT and ERP strategies for responding to uncertainty without relying on reassurance or control.
  • How ACT can help you become the partner you want to be, even when anxiety is still present.

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Bonus Episode: Signs You are Too Self-critical

Summary: In this episode, I talk about how self-criticism can quietly interfere with recovery and healing. So many people believe being hard on themselves will motivate them to do better, but in reality, constant self-judgment often increases anxiety, lowers confidence, and makes it harder to move forward. I walk through some common signs of self-criticism, including harsh self-talk, perfectionism, difficulty accepting compliments, and feeling guilt or shame over even small setbacks. (more…)

Bonus Episode: Why Your Brain Won’t Let Things Go (And What to Do Instead)

Summary: In this episode, I explain why your brain can get stuck replaying thoughts, searching for answers, and trying to feel certain before it can move on. So often, people think they have an overthinking problem, but the real issue is that the brain has learned that solving equals safety. Every time you analyze, replay, or try to “figure it out” to get relief, your brain learns to keep sending you back into the same cycle. (more…)

Bonus Episode: The Two Things Anxious People Do That Makes Everything Worse

Summary: In this episode, I talk about two very common mistakes anxious people make that actually keep anxiety cycles going stronger: responding with urgency and treating every thought, feeling, or sensation as incredibly important. I share a personal story from volunteering at a school bake sale, where I caught myself rushing, overperforming, and reacting as if everything was high stakes, even though there was no real danger present.

I explain how anxiety itself is not necessarily the problem, but rather the way we respond to it. When we treat anxious thoughts or feelings as urgent and important, we teach the brain that they truly are dangerous. Whether it’s a “what if” thought, physical anxiety symptoms, or fear of judgment, acting from urgency reinforces the anxiety cycle and keeps the nervous system on high alert.

Most importantly, I walk you through what to do instead. The goal is not to convince yourself that nothing matters or to magically make the feeling disappear. Instead, it’s about slowing down your actions even while your body still feels urgency inside. I share how I practiced this in real time by deliberately slowing my movements, pausing, and responding differently even though my body still felt stressed. This episode is really about learning how to stop reinforcing anxiety and beginning to show your brain that discomfort does not always require an urgent response.