Why can’t I accept uncertainty? | Ep. 501

In this episode, I talk about why uncertainty can feel so unbearable when you struggle with anxiety, OCD, or depression. While uncertainty may simply feel uncomfortable to someone without anxiety, an anxious brain can interpret not knowing as a threat. This can lead us to seek reassurance, Google for answers, ruminate, catastrophize, or engage in other behaviors designed to make that uncomfortable feeling go away.

I explain how these behaviors may give us temporary relief, but they actually make our tolerance for uncertainty smaller over time. Instead, we want to practice expanding our capacity to sit with the “I don’t know” without immediately trying to resolve it. I like to think of this as stretching a rubber band: the more we gently practice tolerating uncertainty, the more flexible and capable we become.

Most importantly, the goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty or even anxiety. It’s to build our capacity to experience both while continuing to live a full, meaningful life. This practice will be messy, and there will be times when you fall back into reassurance or old patterns, but every opportunity to practice is another chance to strengthen your confidence and your ability to handle the unknown.