Podcast

17 October 2019

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today I am so thrilled to introduce to you this week’s guest, Alegra Kastens, MA. Alegra is not just a guest on the podcast. Alegra is also a very important part of CBT School and has helped me so much since CBT School launched in 2018. Alegra Kastens has been a huge part of the creation of this podcast, uploading it each week, creating a lot of the technological support, creating images and supporting me when I am struggling with all the projects. Alegra is now moving forward with her career and is working as a therapist who specializes in OCD.

In today’s discussion, Alegra told us about the first moment she had her first intrusive thought and how these impacted her life. She also shared with us the process of her finally deciding to ask for help, even though she was petrified and so ashamed. Alegra shared what she found helpful and not helpful from her therapist and how she was supported and encouraged to seek specialized OCD treatment from her therapist who did not specialize in OCD.

What I loved most about this episode is that Alegra Kastens so candidly talks about her experience of shame, guilt, and stigma related to having OCD. Alegra’s main sub-type of OCD was pedophilia obsessions, which caused her to be stuck in self-doubt, self-criticism and complete panic for a very long time. Alegra Kastens shared what it was like to experience sexual obsessions such as pedophilia obsessions and what it was like to undergo Exposure and Response prevention for her OCD symptoms. Alegra shared some of the ERP exposures looked like and the importance of being given psycho-education about ERP before beginning. I loved how much education and inspiration Alegra Kastens brought to this conversation.

To learn more about her story, click HERE to read an article she wrote for IntrusiveThoughts.org.

For more information on Alegra Kastens, visit:

Instagram: @ObsessivelyEverAfter

Website: www.alegrakastens.com

Psychology Today blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-things-anxiety

11 October 2019

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.

This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway.  It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family.  As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year. 

My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right!  I have made a deal with myself.  NO MORE RUSHING.  No more rushing my kids.  No more rushing my family.  No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety. 

My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me. 

On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the love that we all felt for each other.  We looked up to the horizon instead of focusing on the road and the computer screens and the phones.  We connected and I didn’t rush a thing. 

My hope for this podcast is to inspire you to take on the goal of NO MORE RUSHING and just see how much beauty that comes from this.

OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.

4 October 2019

Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way.

In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together!

The listener’s question is: 
“I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But sometimes I feel like I escape when I try to live in the present moment. It’s like my OCD tells me ‘wow, you have learned a new tool…great, but do you know what – if something is contaminated or dangerous it doesn’t matter if you try to live in the present moment. You are just kidding yourself!  You have to take care of the problems from yesterday and you have to make sure you have a future to live in. Don’t be fooled into that mindfulness stuff…’ My mind gets twisted. Do you have any thoughts that can bring some clarity?”

Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful awareness weeks!  BFRB Awareness week is happening NOW and ends on October 7.  You can participate by attending local events, joining the conversation online, and more.  Click HERE for more information.

OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.

13 September 2019

I am honored to have Steven C. Hayes, author of A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Towards What Matters, back on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. He was on Ep. 83 and is joining us again! There is nothing that makes me happier than to chat with Steven Hayes about the unbelievable work he is doing and I cannot tell you how much I adored his most recent book.

In this week’s podcast episode, Steven Hayes addressed how we can reach a liberated mind by improving psychological flexibility and moving away from psychological rigidity.  Not only does Hayes address these important topics using a combination of science and reason, but he also discussed how we can access a liberated mind by practicing compassion and kindness, and by seeking out our own set of values. During this conversation, we touched on some really difficult topics including suicidal ideation, immigration, global warming and other issues that impact the state of the world. Steven Hayes does such a beautiful job teaching us how we can reach be more open to our suffering and be open and flexible with other people’s suffering. 

Steven Hayes also addresses how we overuse problem-solving with our emotions. He talks about how we can create our own “hero’s journey” by choosing a path that feels liberating and freeing, instead of one that is powerless and rigid. 

For more information on Steven Hayes, click below:

Website: https://stevenchayes.com/

TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg

To purchase his most recent book: https://www.amazon.com/Liberated-Mind-Pivot-Toward-Matters-ebook/dp/B07LDSPRYM

A book freebie:https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/

Steven Universe video – “Here Comes a Thought”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHg50mdODFM

6 September 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Today we are talking all about Accepting our Common Humanity.  You may remember that Kristin Neff was on the podcast (Ep. 87) and she spoke about how Common Humanity is a core component of Mindful Self-Compassion.  In that interview, Kristin Neff spoke about how we must notice that we are all in this together.  Her description of Common Humanity is that we are never alone because all humans suffer and all humans feel emotions similar to what you are feeling, although it might not have the same content and be experienced from the same source of stress. Kristen Neff also addressed how we should not compare our suffering to that of another.  When we do that, we minimize our own suffering and we reject the common humanity that we all experience.

In this episode, my goal was to share with you some of the struggles I have had in accepting my own human-ness.  As I have battled multiple medical issues this year, I have had to face my common humanity over and over again.  I have had to stare my human-ness in the face, which has been both painful and freeing.  I have had to reflect many times on how I am treating myself and how to create a more self-compassionate life that involves me setting realistic expectations for myself, treating myself with love and care when I am not feeling well and being honest with myself about what I can and cannot achieve or do.   

This journey of common humanity has been such a huge one for me and one that I hope brings you some awareness or hope.  I often hear listeners and members of the CBT School community talk about how hard they are on themselves and how they hold themselves to standards that are impossible and outright cruel.  If this resonates with you, this episode is for you.

30 August 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today we are thrilled to introduce Dr. Laura Wetherill who will be talking about school anxiety.  Dr Laura Wetherill is a Formal Research Scientist, turned full-time mom, who has a gift for doodling and supporting students with their studies and their mental health.  Dr. Laura Wetherill now considers herself an online educator and has so much to share with us about managing school anxiety.

During the interview, we address the below questions: 

• What advice to you have for those who afraid of how stressful the year will be? 
• How can students manage comparisons (with students who are “smarter” or “more popular” etc.)?
• Any tips for managing time during the school year? 
• How can one manage the fear of failing a test or a class? 
• How can one manage strong feelings of dread and hate towards school? 

Dr. Wetherill gathered information on how students are feeling about going back to school and learned a lot about school anxiety and fears:

When asked, “How are you feeling about going back to school?” the vast majority reported fears based around friends, exams, time pressures, expectations, etc. We included them for your reference.  

Friends/relationships: • Nervous about not having friends in some of my classes. • Worried about losing friends. • Worried about making friends. • Unresolved conflict with friends. • Bullying. 

Exam Stress: • Many students worried about coping with stress, anxiety and the pressure around upcoming exam time. • One student is worried that she will panic in the exam room. • Students worrying that they’ve failed their exams and must go back to school with “bad” results (worried they’ve let parents, teachers and themselves down). 

General stress: • Scared the year will be too stressful. • Excited for subjects but not about the stress. 

Expectations/Not feeling smart enough: • Worried about not meeting entry requirements for A levels. • Worried about not being smart enough and finding it hard when everyone is competing and being compared against one another. • Worried about being unable to cope with the step up in difficulty. 

Time pressure: • Not having enough time to learn everything. • Not having enough time to finish resources. • Not having enough time to revise. • Feelings of time running out. • Having to miss the first week of school and then worried about catching up with work. 

Predicting Failure: • One student had failed her mocks and is worried that she will fail the real exams. • Students worried that they will fail the exams at the end of this new school year. 

Feeling unprepared: • Unprepared for exams. • Unprepared to leave school at the end of the year. • Unprepared for the year ahead. • Some are not sure how to prepare for the year ahead. • Revising hard but feel like it’s not enough. Coping with ongoing medical conditions that disrupt school. • Having a medical condition that means they might not be able to attend school or sit the exams that they would like to sit. • One student was doing half days and they’re worried that this year they won’t be able to cope if they have to do full days. • Making the wrong choices: • Worried that they’ve chosen the wrong subjects or will not enjoy them. 

Strong feelings: • “I hate school, I don’t want to go back.” • “My friends p*** me off.” • “I’m terrified”. 

New beginnings: • Nervous about starting a new college/6th form/school. • Nervous about starting a new school, in a new country. 

For more information on Dr. Wetherill, visit:

Instagram:@doctormeclever 

Website: doctormeclever.com 

Dr. Wetherill and I created a FREE 7-Step resource to help you bust your procrastination habit.  Click HERE for the info.

23 August 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I was reflecting on what you might need to hear and it dawned on me that you might need a solid dose of compassion.  So, today we are talking about finding your compassionate voice.  In this podcast, I will lead you through a “Finding your compassionate voice” meditation, created originally by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer.  The script is below, but please note that I did change a few components to match the style of my voice and my ideas for what you needed to hear.  

Finding your compassionate voice involves us bringing what we need to hear to our awareness. Examples of finding your compassionate voice might sound like: 

“I love you” 

“I am here for you” 

“You are enough” 

“You are loved” 

“Everything is going to be ok” 

Finding your compassionate voice is an exercise or tool that might be able to offer you a skill to increase self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-respect.

Finding your Compassionate Voice Meditation

Please find a posture in which your body is comfortable and will feel supported for the length of the meditation. 

Then let your eyes gently close, partially or fully. 

Taking a few slow, easy breaths, releasing any unnecessary tension in your body. 

• If you’d like, placing a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder that we’re bringing not only awareness but affectionate awareness to our breathing and to ourselves. You can leave your hand there or let it rest at any time. 

• Now beginning to notice your breathing in your body, feeling your body breathe in and feeling your body breathe out. Now releasing the focus on your breathing, allowing the breath to slip into the background of your awareness, begin to offer yourself words or phrases that are meaningful to you. Whisper these words into your own ear.  

• Just letting your body breathe you. There is nothing you need to do. 

• Perhaps noticing how your body is nourished on the in-breath and relaxes with the out-breath. 

• Now noticing the rhythm of your breathing, flowing in and flowing out. (pause) Taking some time to feel the natural rhythm of your breathing. 

• Feeling your whole body subtly moving with the breath, like the movement of the sea. 

• Your mind will naturally wander like a curious child or a little puppy. When that happens, just gently returning to the rhythm of your breathing. This is mindfulness. 

• Allowing your whole body to be gently rocked and caressed – internally caressed – by your breathing. 

• If you like, even giving yourself over to your breathing, letting your breathing be all there is. Becoming the breath. 

• Just breathing. Being breathing. 

• And now, gently releasing your attention to the breath, sitting quietly in your own experience, and allowing yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and to be just as you are. 

• Slowly and gently open your eyes.

16 August 2019

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  We are talking all about our bodies and addressing a very important topic called Health At Every Size in this episode.   Today, I am honored to talk to Emily Cooper, a therapist who specializes and is so knowledgeable about health at every size, body positivity, body neutrality, and privilege.

In this episode, we talk about whether there is a “right type of body” or a “wrong type of body” and how society and diet culture impact us and how we see our bodies. Emily Cooper addressed why Health At Every Size is an important concept that improves self-respect and self-love. Health At Every Size (HAES) is an inclusive movement that supports people of all sizes, weights, and body types in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors.  Health At Every Size does not focus on weight as the sole indicator of health.  Being thinner does not necessarily make a person healthier or happier.  A “healthy body” aligns with more than one body type and across a wide range of weights.

During this episode, Emily Cooper also addresses how our perception of our body can impact our everyday lives, specifically related to work environments, social environments, relationships, intimacy and life in general. 

In her discussion about Health At Every Size,  Emily Cooper also addressed the concept of thin privilege and diet culture and how they impact our relationship with our body and other peoples’ bodies.   

The goal of this podcast episode is to introduce you to the idea that you can start to respect your body today, no matter what size or shape.  Emily beautifully shared that her hope is to give us permission to not like our bodies but still learn to live our lives, not using weight or size to indicate your worth or ability to do the things you want to do.  

For more information on Emily, visit:

Instagram: @heyemilycooper 

Blog: http://www.heyemilycooper.com/

Book References:

Body Respect by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aprhamor

Intuitive Eating by Linda Bacon

9 August 2019

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.   Today we are talking about a concept that I get asked about so often.  Today we are talking all about how to manage intrusive thoughts.  So often I am asked by clients and the CBT School community questions like, “What is an intrusive thought?” and, “How do I manage intrusive thoughts from becoming mental compulsions?” and, “Why is it so hard to manage intrusive thoughts?”

These are all such good questions and I can totally resonate with why it is such a difficult and confusing topic.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I talk about why thought suppression doesn’t work and why distraction is a tool that only works for a short period of time.  In this episode, we review the practice of mindfulness in an attempt to manage intrusive thoughts and create an environment in your brain where fear and uncertainty doesn’t run the show.  

A wonderful follower sent me the below question:

“I have heard you talk about distraction and thought suppression. Does that mean I need to just focus on my thoughts and stay in my own head? While keeping myself busy with my job and other activities keeps me engaged and gets me out of my own head, does this count as a distraction? Also when you say distraction is bad, is it in the context of OCD or in general? I’m a bit confused, can you please provide some clarity on this.”

This is such a common question that I get asked and I wanted to take this time to address a concept called “Occupation,” which is the practice of allowing thoughts WHILE you go about your day.  Occupation is a practice of taking intrusive thoughts with you while you do the things you value in life.  This is a very important concept and can help us to define how we manage intrusive thoughts and how we can reduce engaging in compulsive behaviors and mental compulsions.  

I hope this episode helps give you additional tools to help manage intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions.  

2 August 2019

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will really change the way you look at and relate to Self-care. In this episode, we aren’t talking about luxurious, expensive and unsustainable self-care.  We are talking about affordable self-care.  And, we are talking about self-care that costs NOTHING!  If you struggle with self-care, this is the episode for you.  If you struggle to even be aware of when you need self-care, this is the episode for you. 

In this episode, we talk with Psychologist Dr. Jenn Hardy about how marketing and media have made self-care into something that should look perfect, cost a lot of money and be luxurious.  Dr. Jenn Hardy brings up the wonderful point that a self-care plan that is expensive and indulgent is not sustainable and won’t fit into most people’s daily lives.  Dr. Jenn Hardy addresses a concept she coined, affordable self-care, which is taking care of your basic needs and making time each day to give your body and mind what it needs.  

Here are a few examples of affordable self-care that you can include into your life in simple and easy ways. 

• Going pee when you need to pee
• Journaling 
• Slowing down 
• Taking a breath between activities 
• Honoring what your body needs
• Saying no to things 

The thing I love the most about this episode is that we learn just how accessible affordable self-care is.  We all have access to affordable self-care, no matter what your income is, where you live and what you do for a living. 

For more information on Dr. Jenn Hardy, visit:

Instagram: @drjennhardy

Website: Drjennhardy.com 

Before we go, I want to share a virtual conference with you that I will be speaking at (from August 5th-15th): Share Triumph Cancer Conference. I will be speaking at this free, virtual event in which women share how they made decisions about medical treatment and discuss how the emotional effects of diagnosis impact them today.  Specifically, I will be talking about managing anxiety related to physical illness and cancer. This event brings together renowned doctors, therapists, nonprofits, fashion brands, comedians, podcasters, survivors and metavivors teaching you how to get through diagnosis, treatment and the aftermath to help keep your mind and spirit intact! Click HERE for more information and to register