“I’m Not Good Enough”: 10-Minute Guided Exercise for Self-Acceptance & Healing Shame | Ep. 511

In this episode, I talk about something I hear from clients almost every day: “I don’t feel good enough.” I share a simple visual I use with my clients to explain how we often treat our worth like a behavior chart, mentally moving ourselves up when we do something “good” and down when we make a mistake, disappoint someone, struggle with our mental health, or feel like we haven’t accomplished enough. Instead, I want you to imagine that your clip is permanently at the very top. Your worth doesn’t move. You are still worthy of love, kindness, and respect on your very best days and your very hardest ones.

I also explain how to create some distance from thoughts and feelings that tell you otherwise. Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” we can practice noticing, “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.” Instead of becoming consumed by shame, we can say, “I’m noticing the feeling of shame.” This helps us recognize thoughts and feelings as experiences we’re having rather than automatically treating them as facts about who we are.

Finally, I talk about the important difference between guilt and shame. We can acknowledge a mistake, apologize, take responsibility, and experience consequences without turning “I did something I regret” into “I am a bad person.” The practice is to notice when your brain starts measuring your worth, step back from those thoughts instead of ruminating on them, and remind yourself that your value does not change.