Depression has a pattern: Here’s how to break free | Ep. 508
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In this episode, I’m breaking down the cycle of depression and sharing three practical, research-backed skills to help you recognize the pattern, interrupt it, and begin reconnecting with your life.
In This Episode, I’ll Show You:
- How to recognize the depression cycle and understand how negative thoughts, painful emotions, and avoidance can keep feeding one another.
- Why self-compassion is an important first step when depression has you criticizing yourself, withdrawing, or feeling stuck.
- How rumination keeps us caught in painful loops and how attention training can help you gently bring your focus back to the present.
- Why you don’t have to get rid of negative thoughts in order to stop giving them so much of your attention.
- How behavioral activation can help interrupt avoidance, even when you have very little motivation or energy.
- Why tiny actions and small positive moments matter, and how those little wins can begin shifting the depression cycle in a new direction.
How to Break the Cycle of Depression
Depression has a pattern.
And if you don’t know how to recognize that pattern, it can feel like it slowly takes over more and more of your life.
You start having painful thoughts. Those thoughts bring up painful emotions. Those emotions change the way you behave. And before you know it, those behaviors are creating even more painful thoughts and feelings.
Around and around you go.
But here is the hopeful part: once you understand the pattern, you can start interrupting it.
Today, I want to walk you through the depression cycle and give you three practical skills that can help you begin breaking it.
Content
First, Let’s Understand the Depression Cycle
Before we can change a pattern, we have to be able to recognize it.
Depression often follows a loop where each part feeds the next:
Negative thoughts → painful emotions → depressive behaviors → more negative thoughts
Each part of the cycle reinforces the others, which is why depression can sometimes feel like it gains momentum.
The good news is that once you learn to recognize this cycle, you can begin looking for opportunities to interrupt it.
Step One: Negative Thoughts Begin to Take Over
Depression often starts showing up in the way we think.
You may notice increasingly negative thoughts about:
- Yourself
- Your future
- The world around you
Maybe your brain tells you that you aren’t good enough.
Maybe it tells you nothing is going to get better.
Maybe it starts collecting evidence for everything that is going wrong while completely discounting anything positive.
And these thoughts can become increasingly harsh, hopeless, and defeating.
The important thing to remember is that a thought is not automatically a fact.
Depression can be incredibly convincing. That doesn’t mean everything it tells you deserves to be believed.
Step Two: Painful Feelings Follow
If your brain repeatedly tells you things like:
I’m terrible.
No one likes me.
Things will never get better.
…it makes sense that painful emotions would follow.
You might experience sadness, shame, guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, anger, or hopelessness.
And as the negative thinking continues, those feelings can become stronger.
This is where the cycle begins feeding itself.
The worse we feel, the easier it becomes to think negatively. And the more negatively we think, the worse we may feel.
Step Three: Our Behavior Starts to Change
This is an incredibly important part of the depression cycle because sometimes our behavior is the first clue that depression is returning.
You may not immediately notice your thinking changing.
You may not recognize that your emotions have shifted.
But you might notice:
I haven’t answered anyone’s texts.
I’m staying in bed much longer.
I stopped doing things I normally enjoy.
I’m canceling plans.
I’m beating myself up constantly.
These behavioral changes can tell us something important is happening.
Negative Self-Talk
One common depressive behavior is piling onto our own painful thoughts.
Your brain gives you a negative thought, and instead of allowing it to pass, you add more evidence.
Yep. And here’s another reason I’m terrible.
You might discount the positive, magnify the negative, catastrophize, label yourself, or call yourself cruel names.
All of this creates more shame, sadness, and hopelessness.
Avoidance and Isolation
Another very common behavior is avoidance.
When we feel vulnerable, ashamed, exhausted, or like a burden, pulling away can feel protective.
So we isolate.
We stop calling people.
We cancel plans.
We spend more time in bed or on the couch.
We disengage from activities that used to matter to us.
That response makes sense when you’re hurting. But over time, avoidance can strengthen the depression cycle because it removes many of the experiences that could provide connection, accomplishment, meaning, or even tiny moments of pleasure.
So how do we interrupt the pattern?
Skill #1: Start With Self-Compassion
When you’re deep in a depressive spiral, pulling yourself out can feel incredibly difficult.
That’s why I like to start with self-compassion.
Instead of immediately demanding that you feel better, accomplish more, or “snap out of it,” start by acknowledging what is happening.
This is really hard.
It makes sense that getting out of bed feels difficult today.
It makes sense that I don’t feel like going out.
Self-compassion is not giving up.
It is responding to suffering without adding another layer of suffering through criticism and shame.
You can also gently ask yourself:
What do I need right now?
Maybe it’s water.
Maybe it’s a cup of tea.
Maybe it’s a warm blanket.
Maybe it’s food.
Maybe it’s a shower.
Maybe you need to hear one kind sentence instead of another cruel one.
These things might sound small, but small acts of care matter.
Skill #2: Train Your Attention
The second skill is one I believe is incredibly important: attention training.
Rumination is very common with depression.
Rumination is that repetitive mental looping where we keep going over painful thoughts, problems, regrets, fears, or judgments.
I think of it like stirring a pot of negativity.
You keep stirring and stirring:
Everything is bad.
I’m bad.
Nothing is going to change.
Why did I do that?
What is wrong with me?
Attention training helps us notice when we have gotten pulled into that loop and intentionally redirect our attention back to the present.
You Don’t Have to Make the Thoughts Disappear
This is important.
Attention training does not mean replacing every negative thought with a happy thought.
We aren’t trying to force butterflies and rainbows into your brain.
Instead, we are learning to say:
I can have this thought without giving it all of my attention.
You can notice the depressive thought is there and then gently pivot your attention toward something in the present.
Maybe that is a conversation with your child.
Maybe it is the feeling of your feet touching the ground while you walk.
Maybe it is a task you care about.
Maybe it is something connected to your values.
The thought can still be there.
You’re simply practicing not letting it decide where all of your attention goes.
Think of Attention Training Like Building a Muscle
Attention training takes practice.
Think about going to the gym. You don’t do one repetition and suddenly become incredibly strong.
You build strength by doing the repetition again and again.
Attention works similarly.
You notice:
Oh, I’m ruminating again.
Then you redirect.
Your brain pulls you back.
You notice.
And you redirect again.
That repetition is the practice.
Over time, you become more skilled at recognizing when your brain is pulling you into a loop and bringing yourself back to what is happening right now.
Skill #3: Practice Behavioral Activation
Attention training is incredibly useful, but we also need to address the behavioral side of depression.
This is where behavioral activation comes in.
Behavioral activation means intentionally reengaging with life even when depression is telling you not to.
If depression has you lying on the couch and withdrawing from your daily routine, we want to slowly begin interrupting that behavior.
And I want to emphasize the word slowly.
You do not need to suddenly fill your calendar.
Start small.
You might:
- Take a shower
- Brush your teeth
- Eat breakfast
- Take a short walk
- Spend five minutes on a hobby
- Make one phone call you’ve been avoiding
- Go outside for a few minutes
- Complete one small task on your to-do list
When I work with clients experiencing depression, we may create an activity schedule so there is some structure to the day.
At first, that might mean one activity in the morning and one in the afternoon.
Then we build from there.
Don’t Wait Until You Feel Motivated
One of the tricky things about depression is that it can convince you that you need to feel like doing something before you do it.
Behavioral activation often asks us to reverse that order.
Instead of:
Feel better → take action
we practice:
Take a small action → allow feelings to follow
You might not suddenly feel joyful after getting out of bed and taking a shower.
That isn’t the expectation.
But you may feel 2% less dread.
You may feel a little relief because you finally made the phone call you’ve been avoiding.
You may have a tiny thought like:
Wow. I actually did that.
Those moments matter.
This Is How We Begin Reversing the Cycle
Remember our original depression cycle?
Negative thoughts → painful feelings → avoidance or other depressive behaviors → more negative thoughts
Now we begin introducing something different.
Self-compassion reduces the amount of harshness and negative self-talk we add to the experience.
Attention training helps loosen rumination’s grip on our attention.
Behavioral activation interrupts avoidance and helps us reconnect with activities that can create accomplishment, connection, satisfaction, or pleasure.
And slowly, the cycle can begin moving in another direction.
You might engage in an activity and experience a little relief.
That relief might make it slightly easier to engage again.
Engaging more gives your brain additional opportunities for connection, pleasure, mastery, and positive experiences.
We are no longer feeding only the depressive cycle.
We are beginning to build something else.
Look for the Tiny Positive Moments
There is a story I once saw on social media that has stayed with me.
A woman experiencing depression said her therapist gave her one of those little handheld counters. Her assignment was to click it every time she noticed anything positive.
Not huge, life-changing moments.
Tiny things.
The sun feels nice.
That flower is pretty.
My shoes are comfortable.
I enjoyed that sip of Coke.
One sentence in something I read made me laugh.
She was convinced there was nothing positive in her life.
But when she looked at the counter later, she had recorded thousands of tiny moments.
I love this because depression can train our attention toward everything that hurts.
Sometimes part of recovery is intentionally practicing noticing what else is here, too.
You don’t need to pretend everything is wonderful.
You’re simply widening the lens.
Your Homework: Take One Baby Step
I want to leave you with a very simple assignment.
Take one baby step today.
Choose one of the three skills:
Self-compassion: Say one kind thing to yourself or do one small thing that cares for your body.
Attention training: Catch yourself ruminating and gently redirect your attention to the present.
Behavioral activation: Do one small thing depression has been encouraging you to avoid.
You can practice one of them or all three.
But please don’t underestimate the power of one small action.
If changing the thoughts feels impossible today, start with the behavior.
Go outside.
Feel the sun.
Eat something nourishing.
Take a shower.
Send one text.
Complete one task.
Do something that used to bring you satisfaction, even if you don’t experience that satisfaction right away.
Then notice what happens.
Small Wins Add Up
Breaking the depression cycle doesn’t require one enormous transformation.
We are building small wins.
Getting out of bed when you didn’t want to.
Responding kindly when your mind was being cruel.
Redirecting your attention when you noticed yourself ruminating.
Doing one activity instead of avoiding the entire day.
Noticing one tiny pleasant moment.
Then doing it again.
And again.
And again.
If depression is significantly interfering with your life, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support. These skills can be incredibly valuable, but they are not a replacement for individualized mental health care when you need it.
For today, however, your job can be very small:
Interrupt the pattern once.
You don’t have to fix everything today.
You’re simply practicing a different response.
And as I always say:
It is a beautiful day to do hard things.
Transcription: Depression has a pattern: Here’s how to break free
Depression has a pattern, and if you don’t know how to detect it, it will take you down. As you probably know, depression is a liar. It can tell you things and make you feel hopeless, helpless, and it will tell you that you have no worth, and that is complete lies. It breaks my heart when I hear someone who is so wonderful like yourself, who is so beautiful and talented and has such a big heart say such cruel things about them. But again, what we need to understand is that is the pattern of depression. It lies, and then it makes you have experiences and feelings and behaviors that completely do not line up with the way you want to live your life. So my goal today is to help you identify that pattern and help you break it so that when you do notice that you’re slipping down into the depression spiral, you can catch it and claw your way out. And that is often how it feels Before we get started, I wanna slow us down just a little because you’re not weak, you’re not broken, and you’re not lazy. This is often how society, and sometimes people can make us feel when we’re experiencing depression. Depression is not just a mind thing. It can make you feel exhausted. All you want to do is sleep. All you want to do is avoid, and everyone just leave you alone because things feel so awful, and then you just sit and you loop, and you loop, and you loop. I get it, but I really want you to know that you are not your depression. Depression is not who you are. And so please, as we move forward, I want you to make sure you’re catching those lies as we go, and really listen to some of the skills I’m gonna give you, because they are the exact skills I teach my clients, and they are exact skills that have been researched for years and decades and have helped thousands and millions of people. So let’s get started. I cannot wait. Okay. So before we talk about how to break this pattern, you must first understand it, and it’s quite simple. Once you s- understand it and you know it, you’ll catch it and you’ll see it. It’s like once you see it, you can’t unsee it. But depression almost always follows this exact loop, and each step fuels each other, so they build on each other and they grow on each other kind of like mold. And so if that’s how it feels for you, please again, really understand that you’re not alone. This is often how it shows up for everybody with depression. So the first thing that happens with depression is you may start to notice some thoughts, right? Some thoughts that are negative, and they’re usually negative thoughts about you… Your future and the world in which you live in. It could be one, two or all three of those categories. And the thoughts get really negative. They might start off just a little negative but then they grow and they grow and they get meaner and crueler and more defeating and more hopeless and more helpless. That is the function of what happens with depression. When we have these negative thoughts usually we then start to have negative feelings so again as you can imagine if you’re having thoughts that are running on your brain of you’re th- you’re bad, you’re wrong, you’re terrible no one likes you; you’re going to stop to have negative feelings. You’re gonna start to feel sadness, shame, guilt embarrassment humiliation anger These emotions are completely normal emotions But when it comes to the pattern of depression it becomes this sort of Again This growing mold that the thoughts create The feelings and the Thoughts Create even Worse Feelings and Sadness Grows and grows and grows and Starts To pile up So much Tthat You Start To now Have Specific Depressive Behaviors try Manage Overload Negative Thoughts Now These behaviors Are Not Your fault again Lazy not Broken Natural Human Instinct Starting Feel Bad About Yourself Withdraw Pull away Isolate Problem overtime Those Behaviors Also lead More Negative Thoughts Which leads More negative Feeling Leads More negative Behavior Leads More negative Thought Cycle grows and grows and grows and grows Until taken over every single corner life So these behaviors are really important to catch. So I might sit down with a client and they might say, “Kimberley, I’m really starting to notice that depression is coming back. It’s been really bad this week.” And I’ll say, “How did you know that this was starting to be a pattern for you?” And they said, “Well, I started to notice a change in my behaviours.” Sometimes we can’t catch it at the thought and the feeling part of the spi- spiral, but we can notice it as a part of our behaviors being an indicator that we have depression. And so some common behaviors that show up with depression are negative self-talk, a lot of negative thinking, but then you kind of like pile on and add onto it by going, “Yeah, and you’re terrible, and y- you’re… You know, look at all the bad things,” and, “Yeah, here’s some more evidence that you’re bad”, and, “Let’s discount the positive. Let’s discount all your good things, and let’s magnify all the negative. Let’s catastrophize how bad everything is.” Y- you can see how this gets really, really messy really, really quick. The other thing that we do is we beat ourselves up. We call ourselves name, “You idiot. You’re stupid.” We use labeling words that are cruel, that end up again, have– making us have more shame, more guilt, more embarrassment, more feeling like we’re just this odd person that … in the crowd, like we don’t belong. The next behavior we do is avoidance. I talked a little bit before about isolation, but from a clinical standpoint, we call this avoidance. Avoidance is any behavior you do to pull away from connection because we already feel so exposed and vulnerable and bad. Usually when we feel so vulnerable, we try to protect ourselves by isolating. This is not because, again, you’re weak or wrong or bad. It’s a natural instinct for humans to isolate when they feel particularly vulnerable and when they feel like they’re a burden, when they feel like nobody wants to be around them. Again, these are all lies that depression tells you, but that is the behavior that we do after we have those thoughts and feelings So let’s now talk about how to break the cycle. So we understand now that there is a pattern. If we’re starting to notice negative thinking, we’re starting to notice an increase in feelings, and we’re starting to notice an increase in our negative self-talk, and we’re isolating more, we can break the cycle by going, “Okay, I’m noticing we’re stuck.” Then what we wanna do is introduce some strategies to actually break that cycle, literally break it. And what we will often do is first start by practicing self-compassion. If you’ve ever been depressed, you will know that when you are spiraling down in this depressive pattern or depressive cycle, it is really hard to pull yourself out. And so the first thing we have to practice is just intentionally practicing self-compassion, not labeling ourselves as bad or wrong or broken, really validating our experience by acknowledging that this is really hard for us. It makes complete sense that we don’t want to go out today. It makes complete sense that we are struggling to brush our teeth or get out of bed. We also wanna acknowledge that they’re… You’re not alone. There are millions of other people out there doing what you’re doing and trying what you’re trying to do by breaking this cycle today. There are millions of people around the world who have depression, even the ones who have a big smile on their face. I really want you to hear me when I say a lot of the people who walk in my door and sit down on my couch right behind me, they might appear to be completely fine and social, but when they come into me, they let me know about these deep, dark thoughts they’re, they’re having about themselves and about the future, and these feelings of shame and guilt and humiliation and embarrassment and like they don’t belong. This is something that so many people are struggling with, and so we wanna practice compassion for ourselves, and we wanna slow down and offer ourselves the nicest things we can offer ourselves; cups of tea, water, blankets, yummy socks, whatever it takes. It doesn’t have to cost a lotta money. But gently asking, “What is it that I need?” The next step is attention training. Now, this is a very important skill that very few therapists and specialists are talking about Now, as you know, I have a private practice. I have six amazing therapists in Calabasas, California. However, we do not take insurance. Now, if you are looking for insurance-covered OCD or BFRB treatment, I wanna let you know about NOCD. NOCD provides face-to-face live video sessions with specialized licensed OCD therapists. Now, their therapists use exposure and response prevention. We know this is the gold standard for OCD, so you can be absolutely confirmed that you’re in the right place there, and they have a clinically proven app that helps you stay connected to your therapist and others who have OCD between sessions, so you’ll always feel supported. Now, the cool thing is NOCD is available in all 50 US states and even internationally, and they accept most insurance plans, making it affordable and accessible. We love that. Now, if you think you might have OCD or you’re struggling to manage your symptoms, you can book a free call. Just click the link in the show notes at nocd.com. I am honored to partner with NOCD. I want to remind you that recovery is possible. Please do not forget that. Now, big hugs, and let’s get back to the show There is a lot of research to show that rumination-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is highly effective for folks with depression. So what does attention training really mean? Well, ultimately, what it’s doing here is it’s recognizing that rumination is one of the most common mental acts that folks with depression engage in. Again, you mightn’t even catch it. That’s why I said it’s a pattern that you mightn’t know about. But this rumination is a prime symptom of depression. Like I said, that looping, going over, mulling… I always think of it like I’m stirring the pot of negativity, and it’s not that you’re a negative person, it’s not that I’m a negative person, but it’s like everything is bad, and I’m bad, and everybody hates me, and you’re just stirring that pot of these really painful thoughts that you’re having. Now, when you observe that you’re in that m- stirring of the pot, that depressive rumination, you can practice a skill called attention training, which is learning to catch and become aware that you’re ruminating, and then engage in a set of skills that brings your attention to the present. It doesn’t mean you’re taking the thoughts away. It doesn’t mean you’re replacing them with happy butterflies and rainbow thoughts and feelings, because you’re depressed. That’s not going to work. If it would’ve worked, you would’ve tried it, and it would’ve succeeded already. But attention training is allowing yourself to have those negative thoughts, but not giving it your attention Instead, we’re going to do a slight pivot towards giving your attention to something that you value, something that matters to you, something that you enjoy even though depression mightn- make it enjoyable in this moment. And this is something I teach a lot in the Rumination Reset. The Rumination Reset, which is an online course I have, is not just for anxious folks. This– These skills we teach aren’t just for people who have intrusive thoughts or anxiety or panic. It’s also for folks who have depression because learning how to manage your rumination is a skill you need for almost every circumstance in your life. I always say to my clients and my friends and my children is learning how to have attention control with attention training is the number one skill I have ever learned in my lifetime, more important than any other skill. Being… Having the discipline and the practice and the understanding of how my brain likes to loop me in, and then having practiced over and over again the really basically like a muscle rep like you would do in the gym, like a, a repetition of bringing my attention to the present, that has allowed me to be present with my kids, be present with my clients, not racing thoughts and anxiety take me away when I’m presenting to you on a podcast or I’m doing a live sh-like demonstration of something. I can be completely present even though my brain is sort of yelling and throwing a tantrum So attention training is so important. If you wanna learn really more the step-by-step on how to do that, head on over to cbtschool/reset and I’ll show you how. It’s a pretty quick course, and it’s really me only showing you this one skill. It’s not like a behemoth course like some of the other courses we have at CBT School. And so that is there for you if you’re wanting additional training. Okay. The last one is then we move to behavioral activation. So attention training is really helpful and is so important, but you have to marry it with this third step which is behavioral activation, and this is where you actually reengage in activities. So if you’re sitting there and your depression has you laying on the couch and you can’t get up, you’ve practiced mindfulness and now you’ve put your attention on the moment, we still need to break the cycle by getting you up off the couch and into your daily routine. You can’t stay on the couch. I know you must want to stay on the couch, but it will not help break your depression s- cycle… But it will not help you break the pattern of depression. When I have patients with depression, we actually create what we call an activity schedule where we set a timer where they wake up every day at the same time, and they have routines that they practice even though depression is screaming at them that there’s no point and you might as well lay on the couch and, uh, you know, everybody hates you and you’re no good. You’re gonna do it anyway, right? You’ve, you’ve been practicing compassion, you’ve been practicing attention control, and now you’re gonna practice behavioral activation by engaging in your day-to-day life. That might be having a shower, brushing your teeth, eating breakfast, taking a walk. It might be doing five minutes of a paint by number. It might be calling the doctor. It might be, um, calling to set up your insurance policy or you know what it’s like. There’s always a million calls you have to make. And it doesn’t mean you’re fully decking out your day. It might be just doing one activity in the morning to start and one activity in the afternoon to start, and then we build. Right? So instead of building the depressive moldy pile of negativity, we’re slowly building this– these small wins of mastering things you didn’t wanna do, saying kind things, having kind responses to really mean responses, redirecting your attention away from rumination. And so you could really like visualize and imagine like it’s either the depressive pile is piling up or this more value-based healthy effective lifestyle that you’re building. You’re still gonna have some uncomfortable feelings. You’re still gonna have depression to start, but you’re going to reverse this pattern. So I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably thinking like, “Yeah, but Kimberly, like it’s not for me. Like it might work for other people, but not me.” A- and often depression will kind of make you feel special, not in a good way, but in a bad way of like you’re the only one this won’t help for or you’re the only one that won’t get better. I want to offer to you how these solutions help. Now what happens is once you start to interrupt this cycle, you do start to notice some positive thoughts or thoughts that have less power over you And when you have that, you will get some relief. Right? When you’re not ruminating and you’re not being so unkind to yourself and you’re not laying on the couch, you will start to notice some little baby thoughts like, “Wow, I actually just got out of bed,” or, “Wow, I feel so relieved that I made that call. It’s been on my list for forever.” So you’re going to start to notice it mightn’t be the presence of joy but it might be a reduction in the dread that you’ve been feeling because you’ve been avoiding and because you’ve been ruminating and because you’ve been beating yourself up. And so this is amazing huge steps in the right direction. When you do something that’s really hard and you get out of bed and you go to the pickleball game or you take the bus and go for a walk, you start to have some positive feelings. Not all positive feelings, but you start to notice a balance of some negative but some positive as well. And when that happens, you’re more likely to want to get up and engage in your life. When you start to engage in your life, you’re more likely to then have even more either relief from negative thoughts or some more positive thoughts, or even if they are 1% positive thoughts, and now we’ve reversed the cycle. And so self-compassion reduces the negative self-talk. The attention training weakens how much those negative thoughts have a hold on you and help you break free from the rumination that you’re sort of like getting sucked into. And then that behavioral activation interrupts avoidance and boosts your positive feelings by engaging in things that actually trigger your brain to have more endorphins. So for homework, I try to always give you an assignment. All I’m going to ask you to do is to take a baby step today. Depression does have a pattern and we now know what to look out for and so your work is to pick one of those three, either self compassion, the attention training, and then the behavioral activation, or one or all of them, and I want you to do one of the things. Now, if I have a client… and they’re really not budging on the negative talk, I will often say to them, “Okay fine. Go ahead.” Like if you feel you deserve these negative thoughts… I will be very clear with them and I’m gonna be very clear with you: You don’t deserve them. If you’re having thoughts that you do, that’s depression lying at you again so let’s just get that out and get that being told ’cause that’s the facts. You don’t deserve to talk to yourself that way; you don’t deserve to have to hear that. But if all else fails and you cannot budge with those thoughts and feelings then interrupt the pattern by changing the behavior. Engage in one thing that used to bring you some satisfaction Go outside, touch grass, get some sun. Make sure you’re nourishing your body with something that is delicious and somewhat healthy that gives you some whole grains or something that … So that you know you’re taking care of your body. Say one kind thing to yourself . Go out and again, do one thing on your to-do list, and that’s it. And then if you can, celebrate that and see if you’ve noticed any change in your depression. Now, of course, please do see a mental health professional if you’re really stuck in this. But for the meantime, I want to really encourage you that these are skills that most depression specialists are going to give, and so start practicing them today. You deserve to feel better. You deserve to have joy in your life. You deserve to hear kind things and to experience positive emotions. I once saw on social media this girl, and I will never forget this. She said, “I am so depressed,” and my therapist gave me one of those clickers where you click… Uh, it’s sort of like when you go to the movie theater, they click it to count how many people have gone into the room. It’s like a counter. And she said, “The therapist gave it to me for the week, and I had to press the button every time I notice anything positive at all.” Right? Anything that is joyful, like, oh, uh, the sun’s out, I like the sun, or that’s a pretty flower, or the– my shoes are really comfortable, and she has to click it. And she said, “I told my therapist there was literally nothing positive in my life.” And then she held it up, and there were like 11,000 things that she had clicked, and they weren’t big things. It’s not like she had won the lottery. These were tiny little things like, “I love the taste of Coke,” right? It was enjoyable to have a sip of coke. Or, “I got to read for one minute, and the one little line made me laugh.” You will be shocked at how those things add up over time, and that’s another way you can practice behavioral interventions there as well. Okay? As always, I’m going to end this episode with saying the quote, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things. You are stronger than you know. You are more valuable than you can even comprehend, and I am in awe of this work that you’re doing. Thank you for spending your time with me and for trusting me. It is a complete honor and joy for me to spend a little bit of time with you today at Your Anxiety Toolkit. Please follow, share it with as many people as you can. That is the best way to gift me. Your, your appreciation is to leave a review and to share it because then it makes this so much more worth it for me. The more I can help, the better I feel. So thank you so much for your time, and I’ll see you in the next episode. Please note that this podcast or any other resources from cbtschool.com should not replace professional mental health care. If you feel you would benefit, please reach out to a provider in your area. Have a wonderful day, and thank you for supporting cbtschool.com.
