I cannot tell you how often I get asked about how anxiety impacts sex. Social media followers often ask questions that involve how anxiety decreases sex drive, how sexual arousal can occur at unwanted times and the impact medication has on sexual arousal and orgasm.
In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we have Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy to speak about all things anxiety and sex. Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy is a certified sex therapist, psychologist, and upcoming author and she answered all of my questions on how anxiety impacts sex.
When discussing the topic, Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy answered the following questions:
How can we refocus on the present when anxious?
Does anxiety impact orgasm?
Can anxiety cause sex to be painful?
How to handle arousal related to unwanted, intrusive thoughts?
How to manage strong feelings about sex, such as desire but also repulsion?
Please join the IOCDF for a special addition of Just, Ethan this Saturday, March 14 at 2 PM EST. This live stream on Facebook and YouTube will be an OCD/Coronavirus Town Hall with special guests Kimberley Quinlan and Shala Nicely. Come and bring your questions! https://www.facebook.com/IOCDF/
Please check out this really helpful article on managing anxiety over the coronavirus.
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today’s podcast, I give an account of how I manage health anxiety, both when managing medical issues and during medical tests. With all of the fear related to the Coronavirus, health anxiety is becoming a very scary word. Many with OCD are impacted by this because doctors and authorities are telling them to be concerned. This is very much the same when you are dealing with a medical issue and it can be hard to differentiate what is appropriate and what is fear-related. In this episode, I address how to manage health anxiety from many different perspectives and I hope you find it helpful.
ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 6 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. ERP School is only offered two times per year. The last day to purchase is Monday March 9, 2020. https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs.
Here are the main points Katy covers. * At first if you don’t succeed, try, try again. * There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. * Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery. * Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. Therapy does not mean you are weak or faulty. * There is freedom in not knowing. Having uncertainty, while it feels bad, is a good thing and will make you stronger. * Do not isolate yourself. And you are not alone. Try to find a group of people who are just like you and are going through something similar. A great option would be to join our private Facebook group called CBT School campus! * Live in the moment. It might sound like a catch phrase, but you can actually learn how to stay present and not get caught up in the future and the past. * Don’t knock self-compassion! It will help you in ways you cannot even imagine. * Going to therapy will not solve all of your problems. You must be willing to do the work at home, at work and in your relationships. * Give yourself the credit you deserve. You are going through a lot and you are so strong.
Today is the day!!!! ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp
We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD. During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://www.cbtschool.com/10things
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are talking about how travel is the best ERP and how you can use travel to help conquer your fears. Today we are joined by Gilad Gamliel from the popular blog, www.overthinkerspassport.com.
In this episode, Gilad Gamliel discusses how travel can be the best ERP especially for those who struggle with anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder. Gilad is 27 years old and has health anxiety and OCD. He shares how OCD and anxiety tried to confine him and keep him living a small and “safe” life, but for some reason, he was pulled towards taking a leap and trying travel. Gilad shares that he originally thought “travel just isn’t for me” because his anxiety was so bad. However, Gilad found there have been many positives to come out of his experience traveling. In this episode, he shares why someone should travel and the benefits of traveling with anxiety. He also shares many special tips for traveling with anxiety and OCD.
Some of the tips he shares are: 1. Step back to get perspective. 2. Remember that this travel experience is temporary and not permanent. 3. Focus on the present and engage with your surroundings. 4. Take note that there are many things happening that you have never seen. 5. Use technology to help build a support system from home. 6. Ask other travelers for advice. You will find that they may want companionship also. 7. You can do this, even with anxiety. You can bring anxiety with you and learn that anxiety doesn’t have to ruin everything for you as you travel and experience the world.
We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD. During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. https://www.cbtschool.com/10things
ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Available February 27, 2020! ERP School is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp
In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you the 8 things I want you to know. You might be wondering, “How does Kimberley know what I need?” You are correct. I really cannot be sure, but I can guess and I wondered if you needed to hear any of these 8 points.
Here they are: 1) It’s ok to feel what you are feeling. You are allowed to feel it all! The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. There is no “right” way to feel.
2) Your thoughts do not define your worth. Not today. Not tomorrow. This is true for every single person. If you are wondering, “If she only knew how bad my thoughts are.” I mean you too. There is no thought that disqualifies you or depletes your worth.
3) There is nothing you need to change. Nope! You are perfect, even with all of your imperfections. Hey, you are perfect because of your imperfections.
5) We will not give up on you. When I say “we” I actually mean YOU AND ME! I won’t give up on you and you can’t either.
6) You are enough. That is all I am going to say. It’s a fact!
7) This moment is temporary. This moment might feel unbearable, I understand. However, please remember that this moment is only here for a moment….and then it passes. No anxiety lasts forever.
8) You deserve love and peace. You really do deserve love and peace. We all do. If you are having a hard time right now, I am sorry. I wish you love and peace in the little ways and the big.
Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Jeff Goldman, a Hollywood executive and the Director of Development for OCD Southern California. In this interview, Jeff shares his very vulnerable story of being tormented by OCD and how it has impacted his family and his career. Jeff shares his highs and lows with us in his very inspirational and honest story.
In this interview, Jeff Goldman shares his story of having “Just Right” OCD and how the fear of being a failure caused him to become paralyzed with anxiety. Jeff explains that he was diagnosed with OCD at 17 yrs old and has had a long, but inspirational journey to wellness.
Jeff discusses his struggles with facing treatment and how he needed a lot of support and motivation to work on his mental health. He shares, “I was afraid of changing in spite of hating my life.” What comes after that is a recovery story that includes medication, therapy, and family support.
Some of the tools Jeff uses to help manage his OCD are “you have to name it to tame it”, “feel the pain” and “let the anxiety flood through your body.”
Thank you so much to Jeff Goldman for sharing his amazing story!
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving.
This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises.
In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too.
This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation.
Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation: Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness, but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself. Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale. Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing. Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath. As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like. Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation. Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness – something good -to this person with each out-breath. Now letting go of what you or the other person may need, and just focusing on the sensation of breathing compassion in and out and sending something good. “In for me and out for you.” “One for me and one for you.” If you wish, you can focus a little more on yourself, or the other person, or just let it be an equal flow—whatever feels right in the moment. Or you can send something good to more than one person. Allowing your breath to flow in and out, like the gentle movement of the sea – a limitless, boundless flow – flowing in and flowing out. Letting yourself be a part of this limitless, boundless flow. An ocean of compassion. Gently opening your eyes.
In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders.
The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses:
You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame.
You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility.
You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions.
You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible.
You intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment as a way to feel valuable.
You have an active and sincere concern about the well-being of others while allowing few if any into your inner world.
You discount or dismiss hurt or abuse from the past or the present.
You have accompanying mental health issues, involving control or escape from anxiety.
You hold a strong belief in “counting your blessings” as the foundation of well-being.
You have emotional difficulty in personal relationships, but demonstrate significant professional success.
Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford also addresses the Five C’s in the healing process for perfectly hidden depression. I think you will really resonate with the words and concepts discussed in this episode. Thank you Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford for your wonderful work.
In this beautiful episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the amazing Andrea Barber about her new book, Full Circle: From Hollywood to Real Life and Back Again. In this interview, Andrea shares her experience with anxiety, panic and mental wellness. She shares why she wrote this book and her hopes for this memoir.
In her book, Andrea Barber shares, “To fans, I’ve always been synonymous with my character, since most people don’t know me in any other role. But now, I want you to accept the real me . . . and the fact that I’m nothing like I appear on TV. To know me is to realize that I am very flawed, and I have many shortcomings and insecurities. By sharing them with you, you may recognize things in yourself, and discover that you and I are not so unalike after all. For once, it will be nice to share Andrea with the world.”
Andrea shared what it was like having a huge support system, but still feeling completely alone with her anxiety, panic and depression. Andrea spends some time talking about how her anxiety manifests in stomach related symptoms. She also tells us about the process of accepting the application of medication in her wellness journey and her experience with the side effects of medications.
I just adored when Andrea shared what she learned about herself since going through her mental health journey and her new reflection on mental illness and mental wellness. One of my favorite lines from her book, she shared “It’s actually very empowering to think about: I have the power to change my life”.
One of the coolest things about Andrea Barber is her passion for speaking about suicide prevention and awareness. You will just adore the advice she gives. And finally, her most impactful message is this: “The most important thing perspective has taught me, and what I want to tell anyone out there who has been made to feel too broken to love, is that your illness does not define you.”
If you would like to apply for the 3rd annual UK OCD Camp please visit theocdcamp.com • Applications close 19th January • Interviews (15 mins) – W/C 27th January • If selected payment due by 1st March
Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.
In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.”
In response, Khloe explained: “Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.
This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?
Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.
In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.
One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?”
Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.
In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.
In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.
Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5) A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts. B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition. It is important that we specify if the symptoms are accompanied by good, fair or poor insight, as this can help us differentiate between the diagnosis of OCD and other mental illnesses that may look the same. With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true. With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true. With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder, differential diagnosis or set of symptoms
In an effort to really give you a good understanding of other diagnostic possibilities for someone showing similar, but not exact symptoms, I wanted to address some symptoms and disorders that would need to be RULED OUT before treatment. The reason for this is that small differences in the symptoms may drastically change the course of correct treatment. This is a crucial part of the assessment process, done by a therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or psychiatric nurse.
The first is perfectionism which can be divided into two categories, adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is a type of perfectionism that improves the quality of someone’s life while maladaptive perfectionism negatively impacts a person’s life. Research has shown that both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists have high personal standards, but failing to meet those standards can have a negative impact.
Perfectionism can also be categorized by orientation. Self-oriented perfectionism is perfectionism that is pushed by the individual person. Self-oriented perfectionists are very hard on themselves, set very high standards for themselves and have rules and expectations that are often unreasonable. Socially prescribed perfectionism is perfectionism that occurs due to societal expectations. This might include the expectation to get good grades in order to have a good life or having to have the “perfect” body to be loved.
It is also important that we address the similarities and differences between OCD and OCPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), OCPD is explained as “a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.” People with OCPD have an unhealthy expectation of achieving perfection and have an excessive devotion to work at the expense of leisure time and close personal relationships. They are often inflexible with issues related to ethics and morality and can be seen as judgmental and expect others to live to the same standard.
So, when answering the question, “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I encourage us all to do our best to continue to educate others on the differences between OCD, levels of insight related to OCD, perfectionism, and OCPD.
