Podcast/Blog

Ep.49 The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important

18 May 2018

The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important

One of the biggest struggles my clients have is when they get caught up in the belief that their specific intrusive thoughts or fears warrant LOTS of attention and moral weight.   

This is one of the most difficult things to manage when you are struggling with significant anxiety.  We can see that other peoples fears are irrational, but when it comes to our specific fear, we become unglued, confused and reactive.

Here are a few questions that I want you to ask yourself before listening to this podcast.

Have you caught yourself saying any of the following?

1.  “It’s easy for you to say to, “just accept the thoughts”.   You don’t have thoughts about hurting someone all day like I do (insert here whatever thought you are obsessing or ruminating on).  This thought is WAY worse than other thoughts.”

2. “This isn’t any old thought.  This would destroy my life if this thought came true.”

3. “I know I have to accept the uncertainty, but this isn’t just a thought”

These are all examples of getting caught up in our thoughts content.

When we get caught up in the CONTENT of our thoughts we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety.

When we give our thoughts all of this attention and value, our brains become hypervigilent and get even more worked up about the presence of these thoughts, feelings, and sensations.  Please note here,  I am in NO WAY telling you this is your fault.  This is just the way our brains work.    We also have be to careful about our narrative about this thought.  If we tell ourselves the thought is “bad”, that triggers self-judgment, shame and self-doubt. Then we are off and running, judging ourselves more and putting ourselves down.

Listen to the podcast to hear my FIVE STEPS to help when you are getting caught in the content of your thoughts.

At the end of the podcast, I offer a little Challenge for you.

Observe your thoughts and ask yourself if you could start to make any of these changes in your life.

If you do notice that you are giving too much weight to a thought, try to practice Non-judgment (Ep 1) or Beginners Mind (ep 6) or What you say to yourself Matters (ep 17).

Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses.  Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.

Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things

11 May 2018

Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things!

Welcome back!

This week’s episode is a celebration of last weeks guest interview with Dennis A. Aguilar.

Last weeks episode was the first of the series called, We Can Do Hard Things Series.   In this series, I will interview people who have fought through the thickness of mental health struggles and have relentlessly worked on themselves.  These will be inspiring and motivating stories that will help you see that you are not alone in your recovery process.

One question I have been getting from listeners, in response to last weeks podcast, was the question, “But, How do I do hard things when doing even the smallest things seem so hard for me?”

This podcast will outline the FOUR steps I use to doing the hard things.  These steps are mostly tools that will help you understand and appreciate your personal journey.

I often gently say to myself, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things!” and I really believe this to be a core part of my own mental health toolkit.

I hope you enjoy this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.

Resources:

Episode The Skill of Non-Judgment 

Click HERE for My Free PDF Printout: My FOUR Favorite Mindfulness Tools for OCD

CBT SChool Campus Facebook Group

Ep. 47: We Can Do Hard Things (with Dennis A. Aguilar)

4 May 2018

If you know me at all, you know that I 100% believe that WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!  If you are on Instagram or Facebook, you will often hear me repeat,

“We can do hard things!”

“We can do hard things!”

“We can do hard things!”

I am also a strong believer in Progressive Mastery.  Progressive Mastering is the systematic and step-by-step approach to learning new things.  Basically, we incredible humans can learn just about anything if we break it down into small steps and take one step at a time.

I cannot stress this approach enough when it comes to mental wellness.  We must not look up at the mountain, tell ourselves how we will NEVER be able to make it up there and then give up.   We must take on emotion at a time.  One thought at a time.  One sensation at a time.  One urge at a time.

When we do this, we move forward.  We move upward.  We soar!

This week’s podcast is the first of a series I am doing called “We can do hard things”.  During this series, I will interview people who have taken the hard, but rewarding route of working through their emotions, mental health disorders, trauma and difficult childhoods.

I could not be more excited to share this weeks episode with you. Dennis A. Aguilar joins us today to share the inspiring story of his life journey through mental illness.  Dennis talks about trauma, depression, suicidal ideation, OCD, anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, ADD, social anxiety and other struggles he manages.  I found this interview to be incredibly inspiring and I am sure you will to0.

Dennis also gives TONs of amazing advice to those who feel like recovery is not an option for them.  He talks about how he would go through stages of hopelessness and how to fought himself to just keep going.

About Dennis A. Aguilar and Resources He Suggests

Instagram

Books:

Mind Programming: From Persuasion to Brain Washing

The Siva Mind Control Method

What Every Body is Saying

The Heart Of The Buddha

Psychology Fifth Edition

The Norton Psychology Reader

How Pleasure Works

How The Mind Works

Emotions Revealed

Taking Charge of ADHD

The Lazy Mans Way To Riches

Other:

Luminosity

 

Ep. 46: How To Improve Your Relationship With Anxiety

27 April 2018

In This Episode, We Are Going To Get Creative

Are you guys friends? You know.  You, and Anxiety.  Do you guys yell at each other?  Or, do you talk between yourselves in a respectful and considerate manner? This episode is all about your relationship with anxiety.

Does Anxiety manipulate you into behaviors you don’t want to engage in? Or, do you hold your ground when anxiety is trying to get its way?

These questions might help you to determine what kind of relationship you have with the anxiety in your life.    This is a really important question and a conversation that we must continually have with ourselves.   Do you have a good relationship with anxiety?

In today’s podcast episode, we talk about How to Improve Your Relationship with Anxiety.  This includes how you talk with yourself, how you react to your anxiety and what your expectations are about its presence in your life.

You guys know how much I LOVE a good metaphor.  Well, this week’s podcast is one BIG metaphor on how to build a better relationship with your anxiety, depression, emotions, and sensations.   My goal is to give you a visual for managing and tolerating discomfort.

In this episode, I also address setting boundaries with anxiety and depression but creating a relationship with anxiety AND depression.  I can’t wait to hear whether this is helpful for you.  I find it incredibly helpful.  Enjoy!

Click HERE to join our free FACEBOOK GROUP, CBT SCHOOL CAMPUS

Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools Mindfulness for OCD E-course

Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools e-course for Hair Pulling and Skin Picking, BFRB School

Ep.45: FIVE Roadblocks to Anxiety Recovery (w/ Sheva Rajaee)

20 April 2018

Do you sometimes wonder what the secret sauce is to Anxiety Recovery?  Well, today, we have an INCREDIBLE interview with Sheva Rajaee discussing the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY!

Sheva Rajaee (forgive me for the error with her maiden name in the podcast) is a lovely friend of mine and I was lucky enough to get to work alongside her at the center where we were trained.

Sheva is an OCD Advocate rockstar and was a speaker at last years UCLA TEDx Talk event, presenting the talk titled, “Addicted to the answer – anxiety in the age of information”.

In this interview, Sheva comes very well prepared (as she always is) and she details what she calls the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY, including tools to help manage Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s).

Sheva details ways you can compliment Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tools and she uses a wonderful metaphor that we discussed in such depth that we ended up in hysterics!

We talk about doing the hard work, staying committed and some mindset shifts that can help with recovery success.   Sheva and I also talk about those who are not currently in therapy and how they can utilize their own resources to keep them going.

Sheva has her own private practice in Irvine, CA called the Center for Anxiety and OCD.  You can find Sheva on Instagram @theshrinkwrap.

Ep. 44: Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger

13 April 2018

Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger

Do you feel ever notice that your overwhelming fear turns into overwhelming anger?  Yes?  Well, you are not alone.   Anger is a very common bi-product of anxiety.

Today, I share a little bit more about my experience of listening to Clint Malarchuk, who was a National Hockey League player and was the keynote speaker at the most recent So Cal IOCDF Conference.  Click here for last weeks podcast episode on YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Clint and his wife told their beautiful story about Clint’s struggles with OCD and Trauma.   Clint shared all about his journey of managing obsessions and compulsions while excelling as a professional hockey player.   There was SO much about Clint and his wife presentation that I loved, but one thing stood out to me as being REALLY important.   Clint shared about his Anger.  Clint and his wife shared how he was overwhelmed with rage.  Clint was angry at himself.  Angry with his wife for demanding her get help.  Angry at his disorder, for taking so much away from him.

It made me wonder, I am sure some of you would love to know that they are not alone in their anger.

This podcast is for you if you commonly feel angry about what you are going through and angry at those who just don’t get it.

Anger is a normal human emotion, but we need to work on making space for it.  We cannot push it down and we cannot transfer it onto other people by yelling, throwing, punching and/or saying mean things.

If you want to learn more about anger and how to manage it, listen to this podcast. I detail FOUR KEYS ways you can manage your experience of anger (and NO, punching a pillow is not one of them).   You will learn that you have to honor and respect your anger and create a better relationship with it.

Click HERE to read about CBT School’s Mindfulness for OCD Online course

Click HERE to read about CBT School’s online Course, BFRB School: Joyful living with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Hair pulling and Skin Picking)

Ep. 43: You are not Alone

6 April 2018

In Case You Didn’t know, You are not Alone

Just a couple of weeks ago, I attended and was honored to present at the Southern California OCD Conference ran by socalocd.com.   It was such an incredible event and I left with my heart feeling full and mind inspired.

The thing about these conferences is that the energy of the attendees is so infectious.   At the beginning of the day, the room is filled with anticipation and hope.  These conferences are held in hope to give tools and support to those in the community with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

After listening to the keynote speakers and breaking into group sessions where attendees learn tools to manage their OCD (I spoke on Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for OCD), we meet at the end of the day for a final Q&A with the panelists.   The room was filled with togetherness.   There was a sense of community and cohesion that warmed my heart (and it lasted for days).

The next day, I posted on Instagram how honored I was to attend such a beautiful conference and I sent out the message that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  I knew a lot of people were not able to attend such a wonderful event and I wanted to spread the love and connection that I was feeling.

The response flawed me.  Direct Messages and emails came in from those who are struggling with OCD and Anxiety and Depression, reporting how alone they feel.

It got me wondering.

Do you feel ALONE in your suffering?

Do you feel like no one understands just how hard it is for you?

Do you feel like no one could possibly understand what is it like to experience such anxiety and fear and panic?

I am also wondering, Do you feel alone in your bravery?

Do you feel like no one understands or appreciates how incredibly brave you are? You get up every day and do your best to get through the day with anxiety and depression and dread.    You face your fears, not because you want to, but because you HAVE to.

Do you feel so alone that you feel angry?  Maybe you are so angry and hurt because no one else you know has to face their fears every single day, day in and day out.

Do you feel alone because everyone else seems to do the thing that you fear so easily?

If any of this describes you, this episode is for you.

You are NOT alone!

Click the below link to be added to the group.  I would LOVE to have you join us.

CBT School Campus Private Facebook Group

Link to OCD So Cal Below:

OCD SoCal is an affiliate of the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF)

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety (Interview with Jon Hershfield)

30 March 2018

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Jon Hershfield Shares How To Have A Wise Relationship With Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations

You guys know how much I LOVE breaking down ALL THINGS ANXIETY and then deliver it in easy and helpful ways.  In today’s episode, I am THRILLED to share Jon Hershfield’s wisdom with you.  He is a genius at breaking things down into easy-to-understand ways.

For this episode, I reached out to some trusted and respected Mental Health Professionals for input.    I asked if they could share some of the unskilled advice that some of their clients have received from their previous therapists or medical professionals.

During our time together, Jon addressed how some advice for anxiety can be problematic and Jon shared his INCREDIBLE knowledge and wisdom on how to manage anxiety and obsessions in a mindful and rational way.

We discuss topics such as:

• Why can’t I just distract myself from the thoughts?

• Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts?

• Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying?

• What about squashing thoughts like a bug?

• If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something?

• My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass

• My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed

• I understand I can get these scary thoughts to go away by thinking positive and using The Law of Attraction.

About Jon:

Jon is the author of  When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder .   

Hershfield is also the Co-Author of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully with Shala Nicely and The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Tom Corboy. 

Jon has a private Practice in Baltimore and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the treatment of Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCDbaltimore.com  The OCD and Anxiety Center of Greater Baltimore

Twitter: CBTOCD

Facebook: @JonHershfield

Click here to read about how Mindfulness can help you.

Ep. 41: Stay Present with these Two Little Words

23 March 2018

So often, when we are anxious, we forget to stay present.

Instead, we worry about what could possibly happen in the future.

“What if something bad happens?”

“What if I panic?”

“What if…?”

The more I observe my thoughts, the more I notice how incorrect my thoughts are.   In a split second, our brain will tell us an awful story about how a terrible thing is going to happen, how we are terrible people for thinking this thought, or how we cannot handle this feeling.

We must come to accept that much of what we think is incorrect.

I want to introduce you to TWO words that could change your life and make you more present if you put it into practice enough.

Before I share the words with you, I want to encourage you to first get used to observing what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing.

It could be emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, irritability etc.

It could be thoughts, such as “I am so angry- I am so upset- I am not getting better- I cant do this- I cant handle this- I am feeling hopeless……”

It could be sensations such as panic and anxiety-related sensations, increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, depersonalization etc

It could be sensations related to Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Trichotillomania and Compulsive Skin Picking) such as tingling fingers, itchiness or throbbing.

Once you are able to notice and observe these experiences, I encourage you to click on the link and add these two little words to your narrative.

Enjoy! I hope they bring you as much peace as they bring me.

I have even added a short meditation to help you with this practice.  🙂

Ep. 40: 5 Tips for Managing Panic Attacks

16 March 2018

If you have ever experienced the discomfort of a panic attack, you will appreciate this episode.

When it comes to managing Panic, there is a lot of bad advice out there.  I often have clients come to me reporting that they have been trying to “Stop Panicking” for years, only to find that nothing was working.  They report painfully fast heart rates, tight chests, and fear that they will die.  If you have experienced this, you are definitely not alone.

In today’s podcast, I will share with you My 5 Favorite Tips for Managing Panic Attacks (or Anxiety Attacks).

As I mention in the episode, these are not the ONLY tips you need, but they are super important ones and ones I share often with my clients.  These mindfulness tools are SUPER helpful in managing your mindset and perspective on anxiety.

I hope they help you on your journey to managing anxiety, panic, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and other struggles related to fear and worry.

Forward we go,

Kimberley