Depression

Ep. 138: 10 Things I have learned about Recovery (with Katy Marciniak)

28 February 2020

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs. 

Here are the main points Katy covers.
* At first if you don’t succeed, try, try again.
* There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself.
* Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery.
* Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. Therapy does not mean you are weak or faulty.
* There is freedom in not knowing. Having uncertainty, while it feels bad, is a good thing and will make you stronger.
* Do not isolate yourself. And you are not alone. Try to find a group of people who are just like you and are going through something similar. A great option would be to join our private Facebook group called CBT School campus!
* Live in the moment. It might sound like a catch phrase, but you can actually learn how to stay present and not get caught up in the future and the past.
* Don’t knock self-compassion! It will help you in ways you cannot even imagine.
* Going to therapy will not solve all of your problems. You must be willing to do the work at home, at work and in your relationships.
* Give yourself the credit you deserve. You are going through a lot and you are so strong.

Instagram @navigatinguncertainty
Katy’s Blog: https://navigatinguncertaintyblog.wordpress.com/about/

Today is the day!!!! ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. 
https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD.  During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
https://www.cbtschool.com/10things

OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901
https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/
March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MST
Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St
Denver, CO 80218 United States

Ep. 137: Travel is the Best ERP (with Gilad Gamliel)

21 February 2020

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are talking about how travel is the best ERP and how you can use travel to help conquer your fears. Today we are joined by Gilad Gamliel from the popular blog, www.overthinkerspassport.com.

In this episode, Gilad Gamliel discusses how travel can be the best ERP especially for those who struggle with anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder. Gilad is 27 years old and has health anxiety and OCD. He shares how OCD and anxiety tried to confine him and keep him living a small and “safe” life, but for some reason, he was pulled towards taking a leap and trying travel. Gilad shares that he originally thought “travel just isn’t for me” because his anxiety was so bad. However, Gilad found there have been many positives to come out of his experience traveling. In this episode, he shares why someone should travel and the benefits of traveling with anxiety. He also shares many special tips for traveling with anxiety and OCD.

Some of the tips he shares are:
1. Step back to get perspective.
2. Remember that this travel experience is temporary and not permanent.
3. Focus on the present and engage with your surroundings.
4. Take note that there are many things happening that you have never seen.
5. Use technology to help build a support system from home.
6. Ask other travelers for advice. You will find that they may want companionship also.
7. You can do this, even with anxiety. You can bring anxiety with you and learn that anxiety doesn’t have to ruin everything for you as you travel and experience the world.

Website: https://www.overthinkerspassport.com/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/gil.ad.ventures

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/overthinkerspassport

OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901
https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/
March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MST
Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St
Denver, CO 80218 United States

We are excited to share that we are offering our FREE webinar called The 10 things you absolutely need to know about OCD.  During this webinar, Kimberley will address the most important science-based skills and concepts that you need to get your life back from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
https://www.cbtschool.com/10things

ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Available February 27, 2020! ERP School is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. 
https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

Ep. 136: 8 Things I Want You to Know Today

14 February 2020

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you the 8 things I want you to know. You might be wondering, “How does Kimberley know what I need?” You are correct. I really cannot be sure, but I can guess and I wondered if you needed to hear any of these 8 points. 

Here they are: 
1) It’s ok to feel what you are feeling.
You are allowed to feel it all! The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. There is no “right” way to feel.

2) Your thoughts do not define your worth.
Not today. Not tomorrow. This is true for every single person. If you are wondering, “If she only knew how bad my thoughts are.” I mean you too. There is no thought that disqualifies you or depletes your worth. 

3) There is nothing you need to change.
Nope! You are perfect, even with all of your imperfections. Hey, you are perfect because of your imperfections. 

4) You are supported.
Lean on the CBT School Facebook group if you are feeling alone.

5) We will not give up on you.
When I say “we” I actually mean YOU AND ME! I won’t give up on you and you can’t either. 

6) You are enough.
That is all I am going to say. It’s a fact! 

7) This moment is temporary.
This moment might feel unbearable, I understand. However, please remember that this moment is only here for a moment….and then it passes. No anxiety lasts forever. 

8) You deserve love and peace.
You really do deserve love and peace. We all do. If you are having a hard time right now, I am sorry. I wish you love and peace in the little ways and the big. 

OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901
https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/
March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MST
Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St
Denver, CO 80218 United States

ERP School is coming soon! Mark your calendars for Feb 27th!

Ep. 134: Giving and Receiving Meditation

31 January 2020

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving. 

This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises. 

In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too. 

This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation.

Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation:
Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness, but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself.
Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale.
Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing.
Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath.
As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like.
Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation.
Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness – something good -to this person with each out-breath.
Now letting go of what you or the other person may need, and just focusing on the sensation of breathing compassion in and out and sending something good. “In for me and out for you.” “One for me and one for you.”
If you wish, you can focus a little more on yourself, or the other person, or just let it be an equal flow—whatever feels right in the moment. Or you can send something good to more than one person.
Allowing your breath to flow in and out, like the gentle movement of the sea – a limitless, boundless flow – flowing in and flowing out. Letting yourself be a part of this limitless, boundless flow. An ocean of compassion. Gently opening your eyes.

OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901
https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/
March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MST
Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St
Denver, CO 80218 United States

I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely’s amazing blog post about the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD.”
https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/

Ep.133: Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford

24 January 2020

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders. 

The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses:

1. You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame. 
2. You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility.
3. You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions.
4. You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible. 
5. You intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment as a way to feel valuable.
6. You have an active and sincere concern about the well-being of others while allowing few if any into your inner world.
7. You discount or dismiss hurt or abuse from the past or the present.
8. You have accompanying mental health issues, involving control or escape from anxiety.
9. You hold a strong belief in “counting your blessings” as the foundation of well-being.
10. You have emotional difficulty in personal relationships, but demonstrate significant professional success.

Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford also addresses the Five C’s in the healing process for perfectly hidden depression. I think you will really resonate with the words and concepts discussed in this episode. Thank you Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford for your wonderful work.

https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectly-hidden-depression/
https://drmargaretrutherford.com/
https://drmargaretrutherford.com/selfwork/

 
OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901
https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/
March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MST
Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St
Denver, CO 80218 United States

Ep. 130: You Cannot Skip the Line

3 January 2020

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today I talk about how “you cannot skip the line.” This podcast episode is about an event that happened to me a few weeks ago that blew my mind. It pretty much punched me in the gut. Yes, you read that right. It was a hard, hard day. In this episode, I speak about attending a meditation class and being given a very hard lesson. The lesson was, “You cannot skip the line”. Let me tell you more.

In this class, I asked what I thought was a simple question. Without expecting it, the teacher taught me a very important lesson that I think will impact me for quite some time. 

She responded with “There is a lesson for everyone here. It is important that you do not skip the line here. You must do the work. If you haven’t wrestled with this practice over and over, do not come to me for the answers.” 

I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I felt called out. I felt anger. 

But, after some time and contemplation, I asked myself, “Is there a pattern here?” And guess what?!  There was. The lesson was that you cannot skip the line to the “know” the answer. When you “skip the line”, you prevent yourself from learning the real process. Knowing will only help for the first time or two. After that, it takes practice and patience. 

In this episode, I will walk you through a 4 step process to help you lean in and do the work instead of just asking questions. 

These steps include being aware that you cannot skip the line and then catching yourself when you are doing such behavior. The steps also involve being honest with yourself when you are engaging in such behavior instead of staying in the unknown. The goal is to be as patient as you can along the way. And lastly, the most important step involves Compassion, Compassion, Compassion. 

I hope this helps you in some way to notice when you are “skipping the line.”

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter. Incredible tools, tips, and mental health resources! Click here for more information.

Please check out this excellent blog post by the amazing Shala Nicely, LPC on the problem with saying “I’m so OCD.”

Ep. 129: I successfully Failed 100 Times

29 November 2019

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week’s podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count.
In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure. 

Here are examples of how I failed 100 times: 

•    I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast.  A lot of people said no.  I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try.  But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn’t think would say yes did.  

•    I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it. 

•    I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am). 

•    I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later). 

•    I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it).

•    I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet. 

But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again. 

Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much. 

◆    Remember that course I told you about? I got so sick, I didn’t finish it. I had to drop out and this made me face imperfection and failure head-on.  

◆    I was a less than perfect therapist! I missed sessions with clients, and I double booked clients during times when I was so overwhelmed.   

◆    I gave myself permission to share the struggles I have had with friends. I was so embarrassed to do this, but I am so glad I did.  I learned that when you share your struggles, you actually feel more connected with the people around you.  

But finally, the most important example of how I failed 100 times is the decision I have made to take a month off of the podcast. After much consideration, I have decided to listen to my body and take the month of December to rest, rejuvenate and repair. I fought this decision for a long time, but I know it is what I need.

With that being said, I want to thank you for being so loyal and kind to me. I adore your support. I wish you a very Happy 2019 Holiday! I will be back in January, ready to go. Ready to fail! 

FREE anxiety video training! Learn how to become more intentional with the words you use to describe yourself, your experiences and your future.
Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely

Ep.124: Emotions, Radical Acceptance and POTS

25 October 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Do you know what POTS is? I didn’t know either until earlier this year, and my life has not been the same ever since. Let me tell you one thing, we are NOT talking about something that holds plants and something you cook spaghetti in. This episode is all about Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, also called POTS for short.

Why? Because October is Dysautonomia Awareness month and because I have recently been diagnosed with POTS. This episode is aimed at educating you about POTS and also addresses my own experience of being diagnosed with a chronic medical condition. It has been an emotional ride, and my hope is to share with you a few tools that have helped me to manage this news and the ongoing treatment that I will need to adhere to. Thank you so much for supporting me this year. Your messages and kindness has been overwhelmingly positive and I am so grateful for you all.

So, what is POTS? Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is a condition that affects circulation (blood flow). Basically, for most people, our autonomic nervous system works to control and regulate our vital bodily functions and our sympathetic nervous system, which activates the fight or flight response.

However, if you have POTS you have what is called orthostatic intolerance. What this means is that when standing up from a reclining position, blood pools in the legs causing lightheadedness, fainting, and an uncomfortable, rapid increase in heartbeat. People with POTS have trouble regulating the blood vessel squeeze and heart rate response causing blood pressure to be unsteady and unstable.

Each case of POTS is different. Patients may see symptoms come and go over a period of years. In my case, I have probably had it my whole adult life, but it has worsened enough to need medical attention. In most cases, with proper adjustments in diet, medications and physical activity, a person with POTS will see an improvement in quality of life.

People with POTS usually suffer from two or more of the many symptoms listed below.
• High/low blood pressure
• High/low heart rate; racing heart rate
• Chest pain
• Dizziness/lightheadedness especially in standing up, prolonged standing in one position, or long walks
• Fainting or near-fainting
• Exhaustion/fatigue
• Abdominal pain and bloating, nausea
• Temperature deregulation (hot or cold)
• Nervous, jittery feeling
• Forgetfulness and trouble focusing (brain fog)
• Blurred vision
• Headaches and body pain/aches (may feel flu-like); neck pain
• Insomnia and frequent awakenings from sleep, chest pain and racing heart rate during sleep, excessive sweating
• Shakiness/tremors especially with adrenaline surges
• Discoloration of feet and hands
• Exercise intolerance
• Excessive or lack of sweating
• Diarrhea and/or constipation

Please go to the below website for more information on POTS
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/16560-postural-orthostatic-tachycardia-syndrome-pots

Ep.123: Living with Sexual Obsessions (with Alegra Kastens)

17 October 2019

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today I am so thrilled to introduce to you this week’s guest, Alegra Kastens, MA. Alegra is not just a guest on the podcast. Alegra is also a very important part of CBT School and has helped me so much since CBT School launched in 2018. Alegra Kastens has been a huge part of the creation of this podcast, uploading it each week, creating a lot of the technological support, creating images and supporting me when I am struggling with all the projects. Alegra is now moving forward with her career and is working as a therapist who specializes in OCD.

In today’s discussion, Alegra told us about the first moment she had her first intrusive thought and how these impacted her life. She also shared with us the process of her finally deciding to ask for help, even though she was petrified and so ashamed. Alegra shared what she found helpful and not helpful from her therapist and how she was supported and encouraged to seek specialized OCD treatment from her therapist who did not specialize in OCD.

What I loved most about this episode is that Alegra Kastens so candidly talks about her experience of shame, guilt, and stigma related to having OCD. Alegra’s main sub-type of OCD was pedophilia obsessions, which caused her to be stuck in self-doubt, self-criticism and complete panic for a very long time. Alegra Kastens shared what it was like to experience sexual obsessions such as pedophilia obsessions and what it was like to undergo Exposure and Response prevention for her OCD symptoms. Alegra shared some of the ERP exposures looked like and the importance of being given psycho-education about ERP before beginning. I loved how much education and inspiration Alegra Kastens brought to this conversation.

To learn more about her story, click HERE to read an article she wrote for IntrusiveThoughts.org.

For more information on Alegra Kastens, visit:

Instagram: @ObsessivelyEverAfter

Website: www.alegrakastens.com

Psychology Today blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-things-anxiety

Ep. 122: My Goal For My 38th Year of Life – No More Rushing

11 October 2019

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.

This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway.  It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family.  As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year. 

My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right!  I have made a deal with myself.  NO MORE RUSHING.  No more rushing my kids.  No more rushing my family.  No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety. 

My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me. 

On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the love that we all felt for each other.  We looked up to the horizon instead of focusing on the road and the computer screens and the phones.  We connected and I didn’t rush a thing. 

My hope for this podcast is to inspire you to take on the goal of NO MORE RUSHING and just see how much beauty that comes from this.

OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.