Podcast/Blog

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety (Interview with Jon Hershfield)

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Jon Hershfield Shares How To Have A Wise Relationship With Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations

Anxiety Management Therapy Help OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder CalabasasYou guys know how much I LOVE breaking down ALL THINGS ANXIETY and then deliver it in easy and helpful ways.  In today’s episode, I am THRILLED to share Jon Hershfield’s wisdom with you.  He is a genius at breaking things down into easy-to-understand ways.

For this episode, I reached out to some trusted and respected Mental Health Professionals for input.    I asked if they could share some of the unskilled advice that some of their clients have received from their previous therapists or medical professionals.

During our time together, Jon addressed how some advice for anxiety can be problematic and Jon shared his INCREDIBLE knowledge and wisdom on how to manage anxiety and obsessions in a mindful and rational way.

We discuss topics such as:

  • Why can’t I just distract myself from the thoughts?

  • Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts?

  • Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying?

  • What about squashing thoughts like a bug?

  • If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something?

  • My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass

  • My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed

  • I understand I can get these scary thoughts to go away by thinking positive and using The Law of Attraction.

About Jon:

Jon is the author of  When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder .   

Hershfield is also the Co-Author of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully with Shala Nicely and The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Tom Corboy. 

Jon has a private Practice in Baltimore and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the treatment of Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCDbaltimore.com  The OCD and Anxiety Center of Greater Baltimore

Twitter: CBTOCD

Facebook: @JonHershfield

Click here to read about how Mindfulness can help you.

Ep. 41: Stay Present with these Two Little Words

So often, when we are anxious, we forget to stay present.

Instead, we worry about what could possibly happen in the future.

“What if something bad happens?”

“What if I panic?”

“What if…?”

The more I observe my thoughts, the more I notice how incorrect my thoughts are.   In a split second, our brain will tell us an awful story about how a terrible thing is going to happen, how we are terrible people for thinking this thought, or how we cannot handle this feeling.

We must come to accept that much of what we think is incorrect.

I want to introduce you to TWO words that could change your life and make you more present if you put it into practice enough.

Before I share the words with you, I want to encourage you to first get used to observing what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing.

It could be emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, irritability etc.

It could be thoughts, such as “I am so angry- I am so upset- I am not getting better- I cant do this- I cant handle this- I am feeling hopeless……”

It could be sensations such as panic and anxiety-related sensations, increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, depersonalization etc

It could be sensations related to Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Trichotillomania and Compulsive Skin Picking) such as tingling fingers, itchiness or throbbing.

Once you are able to notice and observe these experiences, I encourage you to click on the link and add these two little words to your narrative.

Enjoy! I hope they bring you as much peace as they bring me.

I have even added a short meditation to help you with this practice.  🙂

Ep. 40: 5 Tips for Managing Panic Attacks

If you have ever experienced the discomfort of a panic attack, you will appreciate this episode.

When it comes to managing Panic, there is a lot of bad advice out there.  I often have clients come to me reporting that they have been trying to “Stop Panicking” for years, only to find that nothing was working.  They report painfully fast heart rates, tight chests, and fear that they will die.  If you have experienced this, you are definitely not alone.

In today’s podcast, I will share with you My 5 Favorite Tips for Managing Panic Attacks (or Anxiety Attacks).

As I mention in the episode, these are not the ONLY tips you need, but they are super important ones and ones I share often with my clients.  These mindfulness tools are SUPER helpful in managing your mindset and perspective on anxiety.

I hope they help you on your journey to managing anxiety, panic, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and other struggles related to fear and worry.

Forward we go,

Kimberley

Ep. 39: A Funny Way to Approach Fear & Perfectionism

Hi, there folks! Once again, it is an honor to hang out with you.

This week’s podcast is a little bit silly.  But, I am dead serious when I say that This. Tool. Works!   If you are struggling with perfectionism, or anxiety that stops you from starting a project or participating in an event, this is the podcast for you.

Sometimes we need a different perspective to pull us out of our constant need to make things perfect and perform in a way that doesn’t make us vulnerable.  Writing about it doesn’t really do it justice, so give this episode a listen.   I hope it gives you a little laugh and you can use this tool when you are up against fear and need a little push forward.

Forward we go,

Kimberley

Ep. 38: We Are The Lucky Ones! Important Lessons learned by Stuart Ralph

Today, I am thrilled to interview Stuart Ralph, the host of the amazing OCD Stories Podcast.

In his podcast, Stuart interviews some of the most influential and inspiring psychotherapists and researchers in the anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder field.   During our interview together, I asked Stuart to tell us about some of the most inspiring and memorable interviews he has done and he gave us some SUPER important takeaways.

In the podcast, we discussed:

OCD Anxiety Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Calabasas Los Angeles Thousand Oaks Therapist CBT

How Steven Hayes (author of  Get out of Your Mind and Into Your Life) told Stuart, “You are the Lucky Ones!”

How Reid Wilson taught him that “The Content of your worries is trash”.

How Professor Paul Gilbert (Founder of Compassion Focused Treatment and author of the book, The Compassionate Mind) discussed the application of Self Compassion and how important it is for mental health recovery (especially those who experience anxiety, OCD and mood disorders).

Stuart left us with this big piece of wisdom;

“We all need love and self-care, and if we give ourselves huge doses of that we can move towards recovery”.

I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did!

Please don’t forget to leave a review for this podcast!  Your reviews help us reach more people, so then I can help more people!

Virtual Hugs everyone!

 

Ep. 37: Giving Yourself Permission To….

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with all of the pressure (from work, friends, family, school, society) that we forget that the pressure we feel isn’t always mandatory.  We CAN give ourselves permission to drop the pressure and just BE.   I know! This might sound super impossible, but hear me out.

What would happen if you responded to the anxiety and pressure and stress with,

“I give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted”

“I give myself permission to have scary thoughts” (such as intrusive violent, sexual or scrupulous thoughts)

“I give myself permission to not only have these scary thoughts but also not solve what they mean about me”

“I give myself permission to allow this anxiety to be here”

“I give myself permission to be imperfect”

“I give myself permission to rest!”

“I give myself permission to just be ME”

This is some powerful stuff!

Giving yourself permission to listen to your body can be incredibly helpful when managing eating disorders (and disordered eating), Intrusive thoughts associated with Obsessive Compulsive (including harm, sexual, religious, contamination and symmetry obsessions to list a few), Social Anxiety, Perfectionism, low self-esteem and chronic anxiety and panic.

Listen to hear why this is such an important tool for managing anxiety and reducing the pressure we feel daily.

 

Ep. 36: This EASY tool Might Change Your Way of Coping with Anxiety (W/ Shala Nicely)

Are you tired of feeling like anxiety always has the reins?  This tool might be exactly what you are looking for and can be a powerful complement to the work you are already doing with anxiety.

The tool is called “Shoulders Back!” and our AMAZING CBT ROCKSTAR guest is Shala Nicely!

Shala explains how she came across this tool and how she uses it, both in her own life and with her clients with anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).   The reason I LOVE this tool so much is that it is easy, empowering and science-based.

Here are the links we discussed! Don’t forget to check out Shala and Jeff Bell’s E-course to help you with motivation for ERP for OCD.

Click here for Shala and Jeff’s E-Course Beyond The Doubt.

Amy Cuddy Ted Talk talks about using a Power Pose

Everyday Mindfulness Book (Written with Jon Hershfield)

Ep. #35: DON’T Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Yep, you read it correctly!  Today we are talking about Checking Behaviors!

Chances are, you have done these behaviors a million times

They sound like this….“Just to make sure”

“I would prefer to be certain”

“I cant handle my anxiety if I don’t….”

“Terrible things will happen if I don’t…..”

If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you might check doors, stove knobs, hair dryers, crock pots (new for those who watched the TV show, This IS us),

For those with Health Anxiety, you might check your ailments, sores, blemishes, degree of pain etc

For those with Perfectionism, you might check emails, texts, phone messages, assignments for school etc

For those with social anxiety, you might check Evite lists on who is going to an event, check your clothing or teeth in the mirror repetitively.

Checking is an attempt to control our surroundings in hopes to avoid possible bad things from happening.  We might be avoiding the uncertainty of knowing if we will get sick or not.  We might be trying to eliminate entirely the chances of the house burning down or being robbed.  Or, we might be trying to eradicate any chance of being seen as anything less than perfect.  We might be afraid of embarrassment.

But let’s be honest!

The chances are, you are mostly just trying to eradicate THOUGHTS about these events.  Or, maybe you are trying to eradicate the presence of anxiety around these topics.

I understand this conundrum.  It is not uncommon to want to make sure you aren’t going to burn down the house or miss a deadline or leave the door of your house wide open.  We all do checking behaviors from time to time.

However, let’s be really honest with ourselves.  If you find you are doing these activities over and over, chances are that you are mostly in the fight against uncertainty….and let me let you in on a little secret.  You won’t will this one.  Fighting uncertainty is like trying to get a toddler out the door on time for school.  The more you rush it, the longer they take.  True story! 

Some might say, but when I do it, after some time, I DO find relief.   I get it.  Some are lucky to find those moments when the anxiety is lifted and you can walk away with a sense of, “Ok. I can move on”

Listen to the episode to learn about how to work on reducing compulsive checking behaviors!

When it comes to anxiety, WE CANNOT CONTINUE WITH THIS.  We must change the arm in which we are strongest.   

And lets be honest.  Uncertainty is all around us.  It is something we have to deal with even if few don’t have anxiety.  It comes in every stage of our lives.   Let’s work to strengthen our ability to make space for discomfort in our lives.

As always, have a wonderful week!

#34: Setting Boundaries

Well, this week I tell you a story about the most influential moment I have experienced regarding boundary setting.  It is one of my favorite stories to tell because it taught me SO MUCH about setting boundaries and helped me see that some of the beliefs I had around setting boundaries were ENTIRELY wrong!

During this podcast, we discuss FOUR steps to Boundary Setting and discuss how this can help us manage anxiety, resentment, and anger.

I hope you enjoy the story as much I as enjoy telling it!

Forward we go,
Kimberley

#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors/Compulsions

#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors

Welcome back, everyone!

Welcome back to the Series on Problematic Anxiety-Related Behaviors.

Today, we are talking about Mindfulness-based tools to help with Reassurance Seeking.

For those of you who don’t think this topic applies to you, stick around a little.  You might find that you are employing this behavior, even in slight and tricky ways.

As mentioned in the last episode, there are behaviors that you can reduce, which will result in better outcomes when it comes to anxiety.   Last Week we discussed Avoidance and how this compulsion only makes fear worse.   This week, as we mentioned, we are discussing Reassurance Seeking Compulsions.

So, What is Reassurance Seeking?

Before I give a definition, let me give you some examples and you can see if you resonate with any of these.

Am I doing this right? (Common in Perfectionism)

Did you turn off the stove? Did I turn off the…….. (Common in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Are you sure everything will be ok?

Do I look ok? (Common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Eating Disorders)

You still love me, right?

Do you think I will fail this test? (Common in Perfectionism)

Do you think I hurt their feelings?

Do you think they are mad at me?

Do you think I could get sick? (Common in Health Anxiety and Contamination OCD)

Did I hurt someone?  Could I hurt someone?  (Common in Harm OCD)

Don’t get me wrong.  These are questions that I would consider “appropriate” questions.

However, the problem lies in their frequency and intention.

If you find yourself asking questions repetitively, or you find yourself asking these questions when you know they don’t have the solution/answer, it is probably Reassurance Seeking.

Also, if you find yourself asking these questions when you could be finding the solution yourself, this could be Reassurance Seeking.

And lastly, if you find yourself attempting to find certainty in a situation where there is little to NO certainty, this podcast is for you!

Reassurance Seeking is an action of removing someone’s doubts or fears. Reassurance seeking is very common (and problematic) behavior in Anxiety Disorders such as OCD, phobias, panic disorder, Generalize Anxiety Disorder.  It is also common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders.

That being said, it applies to us all, in our management of our own anxiety.

The goal is to recognize that we must not reach outside ourselves to remove our doubts and fears.   

Drawing other into our anxiety usually only makes it messier and creates a dynamic where you feel reliant on them to manage your anxiety.   

Also, Reassurance Seeking complicates relationships and can backfire.  People may not give you the response you were looking for and cause you to have even more anxiety.

Often clients report that their partner sometimes is very supportive and answers their questions very well, but over time, then the partner gets annoyed and then it creates friction.  Does this sound familiar?

The goal is to acknowledge your own fears as they arise, either allow them to simply be there using your mindfulness skills or work through them on your own.   

Remember, treat your fears the way you want your brain to interpret them in the future.

I hope that is helpful!  Have a wonderful week.