Podcast/Blog

Ep. 72: The Best FREE Mindful Tool

26 October 2018

The Best FREE Mindful Tool Is…

Clients and the CBT School community are often asking me for tools and tricks to manage anxiety.  Thankfully, we are so blessed there are so many scientifically proven tools and treatment modalities to help those with anxiety, depression, and other struggles.  However, I feel the need to bring us back to a mindful tool that we can use any time we want.   The great thing about this tool is that it is THE BEST FREE MINDFUL TOOL! That’s right! It is the best, and it is free.

Before we do that, I want to look at things abstractly for a second.  I promise it will make sense once I tell it so hear me out.

Let’s say I want to be a great mom.  I want my daughter to think I am the freaking best mom ever.

Here is the thing!  Just because I am her mother, that doesn’t automatically mean she and I will be good friends and have a great relationship.  Or, that she will even like me.

To be a freaking rockstar mom, and to make a lasting impact on her heart and well-being, I am going to have to nurture her and our relationship.

I am going to have to hear her pains.  I will need to sit with her when things are hard.  She will need me to hold her hand and be compassionate when she makes mistakes.  And wipe her tears when she cries.  And most of all, she will need me to not deny her of her anger and sadness and brattiness.  I am going to need to really be with her.

To have a nurturing and healing relationship, I can’t cheat and do it the fastest way.  She is not going to think I am an amazing mom just because I buy her the newest iPad and get her the best clothes and hire the best nanny to take care of her all the time.   Those things are great and will make her happy for the short term, but they won’t result in a good relationship with my daughter in the long term.  She won’t feel deeply loved by me and she won’t feel deeply seen.

If I want to have a lasting and healthy relationship, I have to actually sit with her.  Be with her.  Not disown her because she is angry or being naughty.  I can’t just leave it to the nanny to fix her when she is sad or angry or not cleaning her room.   I can’t buy her a trip to Disneyland and send her off with the nanny and expect that she will feel loved by me just because I arranged it and paid for it.   If I do that, she will understand that I will only be there when she is good, or when it is easy, and she will not feel worthy when she is having tough emotions.   Here is where the healing and growth occurs.

So, here is this week’s lesson.  When it comes to your mindfulness practice, you can’t cheat.  You too have to do the actual “being with.”   Our relationship with ourselves is no different.   We all want to be deeply understood.  We all want to feel worthy of being sat with.   We all know that feeling deeply seen is one of the most healing experiences we can be given.  Here’s the big question for this podcast episode.  Do you try to cheat when it comes to actually spending time with yourself and deeply sitting with your experience?  My guess is you are saying Yes.  We cheat ourselves on self-care and just “being” all the time.

So, let’s talk about how we befriend ourselves.  This is the best FREE mindful Tool I am talking about.  The best free Mindful tool is your breath.

We disregard breath as one of the best mindful tools and we push forward wanting more supercharged, easier tools.  During this podcast, we do a short breathing meditation, in hope to simply honor our “being” and “spend time with” ourselves.   Returning to our breath really is the best free mindful tool.

Before we go, here is a reminder to check out our swag!  WE ARE SO THRILLED TO FINALLY BE OFFERING IT!  We have an array of t-shirts and tanks for men, women, and children.  Each product has our very own CBT SCHOOL motto, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things.”  Check it out at the following link! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CBTschool

Ep. 71: How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg) 

19 October 2018

How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg)

Hello there and welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.  Today we have the final episode of the “We can do hard things” series; a series of episodes where we have inspirational and courageous guests who talk about hard and life-changing things.  I have enjoyed this series so much and hope to start it back up again early next year.  I just loved having all of the wonderful guests, who inspired me to be better and brave and more courageous.  

Today we are discussing how to talk to others about mental illness.  I often get asked questions about how to share your story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Eating Disorder or Panic Disorder or depression with loved ones.  If you are wondering how to talk to others about mental illness, this is the episode for you.  

In this week’s episode, we have State Representative of Pennsylvania, Michael Schlossberg.  Michael Schlossberg is not only a State Representative.  He is a mental health advocate and the author of the fiction book Redemption.  Redemption is a science fiction book about a character who defeats depression and anxiety.  If you are interested in reading this book (the first of a three-part series), click HERE.  

During this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, Schlossberg talks about his response to Robin Williams’ death by suicide and how that propelled him to be more open about his own depression and anxiety.   We talk about the experience of depression and how it can keep you feeling alone and isolated.  Schlossberg has many pieces of helpful information on how to talk to others about mental illness.  He talked about how talking to others about his mental illness made him feel closer to others and how it helped him to be more accepting and kind to himself.  

The best advice I took from this episode was “There are more people in their rooms crying than you would ever notice.  1/5 Americans have depression. You are not alone.” 

Click HERE to learn more about Michael’s story and his focus on mental health in his governmental work.  Find him on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE.

Ep. 70: How To Let Go of the Past

12 October 2018

How To Let Go of the Past

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast is my response to a question that came directly from the online Facebook group CBT School Campus.  It is based upon the following: how to let go of the past.   

This question was one that the online group agreed was incredibly painful and one that was very difficult to approach.  If you aren’t familiar with CBT School Campus, go check it out.  CBT School Campus is an online group of wonderful people who support each other as they do hard things!  The group includes people who are struggling with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.  Each member is kind, supportive and helpful.  

Here is the question: 

“One of my obsessive regulars is about things from the past that my mind twisted and has blown way out of proportion (at least that’s what my non-OCD support people tell me. Ha!), but the memories cause me immense guilt/shame because I question my motives and wish I hadn’t done it. I do my exposures to try and accept that I may have had the wrong motive, it may have been inappropriate, I may be bothered by it forever, etc. 

My struggle lies in the yucky, depressed, guilty feeling it gives me as it looms and sucks the joy. That often leads to the worry of suicide if I can never get over it. I try to welcome the yuck, keep moving, etc.  Anything specific that has helped you?”

What a great question!  During this podcast, I talk about how we misinterpret events from the past and use past events to calculate or define ourselves, our worth and our value.  This miscalculation (or rating game) can become a compulsion and as you might already know, the more you review yourself, the more you find to be upset about and the worse you feel.  

DON’T FORGET, THIS WEEK IS OCD AWARENESS WEEK!  CLICK HERE FOR INFORMATION.

WE ARE SO THRILLED TO FINALLY BE OFFERING SWAG!  We have an array of t-shirts and tanks for men, women, and children.  Each product has our very own CBT SCHOOL motto, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things.”  Check it out at the following link! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CBTschool

Ep. 69: Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

6 October 2018

Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is going to blow your mind!  Yes!  You better believe it! If you have been thinking you should start a self-compassion practice for yourself, THIS is the episode for you.  Today we are going to discuss everything you need to know about self-compassion.

This week I am so honored to talk with Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and Consultant Clinical Psychologist at the Derbyshire Health Care Foundation Trust.

Paul Gilbert is what I consider a Self-Compassion and Shame “Guru.”  We all know shame and we all know how difficult shame can be when it comes to Anxiety Disorders, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), such as Trichotillomania (hair pulling) and Dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking).  Paul shares with us his beautiful insight and understanding of the human brain and how to apply self-compassion in our daily living.  So much of what Paul has to say compliments the discussions we have had on the podcast already.

Professor Gilbert performed psychopathology research for over 35 years with a special focus on shame and the treatment of shame-based difficulties. Paul Gilbert was the founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) and I am certain you are going to LOVE what he has to say.  Paul Gilbert has written and edited 20 books and established the Compassionate Mind Foundation in 2006. He was awarded an OBE in March 2011.

During this interview, Paul shares everything you need to know about self-compassion. Paul explains his work and research on self-compassion and how he came to practice and develop Compassion-Focused Therapy.  Paul addresses why he thinks we are so hostile or self-critical towards oneself and what he considers the most important tools for practicing self-compassion

The most beautiful part of this podcast episode is that we ALL need to be better at practicing self-compassion.

As a reminder, it’s BFRB Awareness Week (October 1-7)!  Click here for more information on BFRB School, which is a complete online course for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s).

Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up from October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

Ep. 68: How to do HARD THINGS!

28 September 2018

How To Do HARD THINGS…It’s A Beautiful Day For It!!

Welcome back to another Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast episode!  This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about How to do Hard Things.

I know I say “Its a beautiful day to do hard things” all the time, and sometimes people message me or email and ask me, “How do I do hard things?”  Even friends and loved ones might call to ask, “Can you teach me how to do hard things?”  These hard things might be doing Exposure & Response Prevention (doing something that scares you), taking a test, going to a doctor visit, traveling long distances, feeling intense feelings such as sadness or grief, delivering a speech, experiencing pain or any other event that scares the pants off you.  🙂

A little note on this before we move on; Doing a Hard Thing is doing the thing that scares YOU, even if it doesn’t scare others.  If it is hard for you, it is hard.  Try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to what is hard for you vs. others.

After talking with a dear, loved one this week about an upcoming “hard thing” they were preparing to do, I decided to write them a letter.  My hope was they could read it as they prepared to stare their hard thing in the face (take that hard thing!).  After sending it, I wondered if maybe you needed a similar letter.

So, here we go.  Here is the letter I sent my friend.  I hope you find it helpful in understanding how to do hard things.

 

“Hi my love, 

Here are the most important things to remember when dealing with fear, dread, and panic.

Just because your brain is telling you there is “danger,” doesn’t make it true or real or correct. Our brain misfires (and make mistakes) ALL the time and it is our job to help direct it back to more reasonable reactions. If we react with resistance, we keep training it to misfire.

Our job is to just allow the anxiety, without reacting to it. We gently allow it to be present and allow it to rise and fall on its own. With this practice, we not only re-train our brain, but we learn that beyond this moment of discomfort is freedom. Just a few minutes beyond this discomfort is our opportunity to do whatever the fuck we want with our lives. Fear doesn’t get to make our decisions. Our values and hopes and dreams do.

You are strong, but you don’t have to be stronger than fear. It’s not a fight, so don’t fight it. Slow everything down and gently say to it, “its ok, fear. I am just going to allow you to be here while I do the thing I love to do. You don’t get to control me.

Love, 
Kimberley”

 

Also, CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists.  The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience.   Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event.  Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community.  Click here to join.

Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up: October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

Ep. 67: Grieving the Losses of Mental Illness

21 September 2018

Grieving the Losses of Mental Illness

Psst! This wasn’t planned, but we decided to keep ERP SCHOOL open for ONE MORE DAY!  If you are still interested in purchasing the online course for Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) SCHOOL, it is available until midnight tonight (9/21/18).    It didn’t feel right to release a podcast the day after the cart was closing and risk you missing out by only one day.  So, this is the last day, I promise (for 2018).  I am so grateful to everyone who supported me and sent me information about their successes since signing up and taking the course.

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast is possibly one of my most favorites.  The reason for this is that this episode will give you so much validation for the pain you are going through.   In this week’s episode, we have Chrissie Hodges, a Peer Support Counselor for mental health.

In this episode, Chrissie talks with us about the importance of Peer Support and how she offered her own experience of recovery as a way to help guide and lead those who are also managing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depression, Anxiety and many other mental illnesses or struggles.

Chrissie also addresses a topic I have been wanting to talk about for the longest time, which is life AFTER treatment.  It is such a common question I get asked.  How do we survive when life looks so different? How to get past how difficult that experience was?  What can I do to grieve the losses of mental illness?

The truth is, grieving the losses of mental illness is brave and courageous work.  It requires us to honor our experiences and allow ourselves to feel some pretty hard and uncomfortable feelings.   Grieving the losses of mental illness allows us to forgive ourselves for the hard times and the time lost.

This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was quite a powerful one for me.  Chrissie got real about her own process of grieving the losses of mental illness (specifically Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, and Depression).  Chrissie also shares her experience with suicidal ideation and a suicide attempt that has traumatized her since.

She also shares how difficult it has been on her body and how it has caused her to disown parts of her body and soul. If you are someone who is also grieving or feeling hopeless about all that you have lost in managing your mental illness, then this is the podcast episode for you.

Links:

Coffee with Chrissie Podcast

Chrissie Hodges Website 

Chrissie Hodges Youtube

 

Ep. 66: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE!

14 September 2018

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE!

This podcast episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about the Seasons.   I have received a lot of requests to talk about changing seasons as we move from Summer to Autumn (here in the Northern Hemisphere).  It isn’t just here.  I am sure it is all around the world right now, as the seasons change from Winter to Spring for the Southern Hemisphere (Love you Australia!).

There is no doubt that the seasons impact out mental health.  In this week’s podcast, I look at a few important things to consider when managing anxiety, depression, OCD and other mental health issues.

First let’s look at how the change in temperature impacts us on a Medical level.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is understood to be a seasonal depression, affecting 5% of the population of US residents.  Yes!  It’s that high.  If you are someone who is highly impacted by the temperature changes, you are definitely not alone.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be treated with light therapy, outdoor activity and medication.  Seasonal Affective Disorder isn’t just due to changes in seasons.  It often occurs when daylight saving times changes and we “fall back,” meaning we have less light during the day.  When days get shorter, we have less time to get outdoors and move our bodies and soak up that glorious sunlight, which is linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms.

We also know that colder weather can affect our circadian rhythms, causing us to have more depressive symptoms.  When we are tired, we have less energy, causing us to feel down or sad or, in some cases, depressed.

We also know that the season changes impact us on a Psychological level.   We can also see changes in our thoughts.

Negative thoughts can create depressive symptoms such as hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness.  Our job is to correct any negative or faulty thoughts so we are not so impacted by the weather or time changes.   We can also be more mindful when these thoughts arise.

In this episode, we also can look at the seasons from a metaphorical stand point. We need to be careful how we approach the seasons, similar to how we approach our emotions.

We could consider some emotions as winter (like sadness and shame and guilt) and some emotions as summer (like happiness and joy and arousal).  We could consider autumn being patience and letting go and shedding what doesn’t serve us.   We could also consider spring a time where we feel free and hopeful and alive.   Metaphorically, if we treat one season (environmentally or emotionally) like it is less than or worse than, we will in turn start to have aversion to it.   In this episode, we talk about how to be open to all of the seasons, whether you enjoy them or not.

Lastly, Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is HERE!  Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online, video-based course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  The doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6^th, 2018 until September 20^th, 2018.  Six more days!!  We are so excited to share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School community.  Its a beautiful day to do hard things!

 

Ep. 65: ERP Is the Coolest Thing!

7 September 2018

ERP Is the Coolest Thing!

If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or any other mental health struggle, you are going to LOVE this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   This week we have Nathalie Maragoni, an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who not only treats Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other anxiety disorders, but also knows exactly what it is like the experience the terror of intrusive thoughts, panic attacks and brutal compulsions.   She said it best herself: “ERP is the coolest thing!”

In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Nathalie talks with us about how she struggles finding the correct therapy for her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and how she drove for over 1.5 hours to get a treatment specialist who used Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP).  Nathalie also talks about her struggle with different types of obsessions and compulsions.   She says, “Willingness is the key to managing OCD” and she could not be more correct about this.  We just loved how she shared her love for Exposure & Response Prevention and how “ERP is the coolest thing!”

Nathalie shares the importance of continuing ERP after treatment. She found that getting the proper treatment alone (ERP) was not enough to help her live a full and thriving life with OCD.  She discusses the importance of applying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how this helps her live a value-based life where she can just allow thoughts to be there, instead of fusing with them.  For more information about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, click HERE.   Nathalie talks about how she is using the book The Happiness Trap to help her understand that “Every experience comes with a good feeling and a bad feeling.”

In other news, Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) school is HERE.  Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Just like Nathalie says, ERP is the coolest thing!

Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video-based course that includes modules on:

1. The science behind ERP
2. Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions
3. The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, interoceptive exposures and how to get creative with ERP
4. Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic and uncertainty
5. Troubleshooting common questions and concerns
6. BONUS videos explaining the most common subtypes of OCD and how to apply ERP to these obsessions and compulsions.

The course also includes many downloadable PDF’s and activities to help you navigate how to best apply ERP to your specific obsessions and compulsions.

We are so excited to finally share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School community.  Its a beautiful day to do hard things!

If you are worried about doing it alone, please don’t fear.  We meet bi-monthly on the FB group and on IG to talk about questions you may have.

 

Nathalie Maragoni is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at OCDSpecialists.com.  They now have offices in Bakersfeild and Los Angeles under Supervisor, Stacey Kuhl Wochner.  Nathalie can be found on Instagram at @mindonfire_ocd.

Ep. 64: Don’t Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

31 August 2018

Don’t Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

Welcome back to YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST!

We have some SUPER exciting news this week.   We are offering a NEW and FREE training called “The 10 Things you absolutely need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).”  This webinar will be great if you are new to OCD and looking for some direction.  It will also be a fantastic refresher into the key concepts of OCD treatment, if you are already on your road to recovery.   If you are interested, click HERE to check it out.

Next piece of exciting news! ERP school will be here in less than ONE WEEK!  Heck yes!!  Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is an online course for those who don’t have access to a therapist who practices ERP and science-based skills for OCD.  I will be talking a lot about this in the next few weeks, as the doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6^th, 2018 until September 20^th, 2018.   Keep it in mind that this course will only be available to purchase during that time.    ONE WEEK!!  It is right around the corner and I could not be happier and more excited.

Do you ever feel like you are doing the same thing, over and over, with no change in result?  You realize your fruitless outcomes and you decide you are going to try harder this time.   You might even make a pact with yourself that you will NEVER do that one thing again and you promise yourself that this is the time it will be successful. But, just like last time, you get the same result and you are left feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.   Well, if this is you, this episode is going to change some things for you.

This week we have a wonderful interview with Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., who is a psychologist based out of Illinois specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders.  In addition to being the president of a private practice group called Anxiety Centers of Illinois, Patrick McGrath is also the Clinical Director of the AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital’s Center for Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Program and President of OCD-Midwest, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. I met Patrick at the IOCDF Conference and we immediately hit it off and agreed to do an impromptu interview.   It was so much fun!  You might even notice it was more of a conversation than an interview, but I loved it and was so thrilled to hear Patrick’s wisdom.  If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) course, Patrick’s talk today might help motivate you towards that goal.  He beautifully talks about how to DON’T TRY HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT and this is definitely a concept you have to consider when starting ERP.

Patrick also discusses the steps his clients need to know to move towards a “Don’t try harder, try different” approach.  Click HERE for more information on his stress management workbook titled Don’t Try Harder, Try Different and HERE for more information on his book titled The OCD Answer Book: Professional Answers to More Than 250 Top Questions about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did!

If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) online course for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), click HERE.

Ep. 63: Addressing Fear Like A Scientist

25 August 2018