Bonus Episode: Why Your Brain Won’t Let Things Go (And What to Do Instead)

Summary: In this episode, I explain why your brain can get stuck replaying thoughts, searching for answers, and trying to feel certain before it can move on. So often, people think they have an overthinking problem, but the real issue is that the brain has learned that solving equals safety. Every time you analyze, replay, or try to “figure it out” to get relief, your brain learns to keep sending you back into the same cycle.

I also talk about the role self-criticism plays in keeping rumination going. Many people believe that being hard on themselves will motivate them to finally solve the problem, but in reality, it only adds more pressure, shame, and urgency to an already overwhelmed nervous system. The more you try to force certainty or push the thoughts away, the louder and more persistent the cycle becomes.

Most importantly, I walk you through a different approach rooted in willingness and self-compassion. Instead of asking, “How do I solve this?” we begin asking, “What would I do right now if I wasn’t anxious?” I explain how learning to notice the thought, allow the discomfort to be there, and gently redirect your attention back to what matters can help retrain your brain over time. The goal is not to get rid of thoughts, but to stop reinforcing the cycle that keeps you stuck.