Bonus Episode: What Is Anticipatory Anxiety (And Why It’s Often Worse Than the Thing Itself)

In this episode, I talk about anticipatory anxiety, the intense fear or dread that shows up before something even happens. So often, the waiting, imagining, and “what if” spiral can feel worse than the actual event itself. I explain how this happens and why your brain reacts so strongly, even when there isn’t a real threat in front of you.

We walk through the key drivers of anticipatory anxiety, including uncertainty, the brain treating thoughts like facts, and the tendency to mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios on repeat. I also talk about how avoidance and control behaviors, like over-preparing, seeking reassurance, or procrastinating, can actually make anxiety stronger over time and leave you feeling exhausted before the event even begins.

Most importantly, I share a different way to respond. Instead of trying to eliminate the anxiety, we practice allowing it to be there while still moving forward. The goal is to recognize that the intensity of your anticipation is not a reliable predictor of how things will go, but rather a sign that your brain is trying to protect you. From there, you can gently come back to the present moment and take one small step forward.