Therapy

Ep. 84: How to Manage Social Anxiety (with guest, Michelle Massi, LMFT)

22 January 2019

Michelle Massi, LMFT, Talks To Us About Managing Social Anxiety

Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit.

After multiple suggestions and requests, we are so excited to share with you an episode that focuses entirely on managing Social Anxiety.   I am so excited to share with you the amazing, Michelle Massi (formally known as Michelle Otelsberg).

Michelle Massi, LMFT, is an OCD and Anxiety Specialist who has both a private practice in Encino and Westwood and also works at the UCLA OCD Intensive Treatment Program.  Michelle works one-on-one and runs group therapy, and has a ton of experience treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, TICS, Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior’s (BFRBs) and other anxiety-related disorders.

In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk about all things Social Anxiety.  Michelle and I talk about the presentation of Social Anxiety and different symptoms that can present when ones struggles with Social Anxiety.  Michelle talks about different themes and fears related to social anxiety and how there is no one-size-fits-all approach to social anxiety presentation.

Michelle and I also discuss different approaches to Social Anxiety treatment and some fun ways to practice facing your fears and tolerating the fear of judgment from others.  We discuss the use of Cognitive Therapy, Behavioral therapy, and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), as well as the use of Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Also, please get super excited!

ERP School is BACK!   Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video-based course that includes modules on

1. The science behind ERP
2. Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions
3. The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, interoceptive exposures and how to get creative with ERP
4. Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic, and uncertainty
5. Troubleshoot common questions and concerns
6. BONUS 6 videos of the most common subtypes of OCD

The course also includes many downloadable PDF’s and activities to help you navigate how to best apply ERP to your specific obsessions and compulsions.

We are so excited to finally share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School Community.  It’s a beautiful day to do hard things!

If you are worried about doing it alone, please don’t fear.  We meet bi-monthly on the FB group and on Instagram to talk about questions you may have.

Click HERE to sign up.

 

For more information about Michelle, Anxiety Therapy LA, and the UCLA OCD Intensive Outpatient Program:

Anxiety Therapy LA: Anxietytherapyla.com

Instagram: @anxietytherapyla

UCLA OCD Program: https://www.semel.ucla.edu/ocd-itp

Ep. 83: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with Steven Hayes

11 January 2019

Steven Hayes Talks Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Welcome back to another INCREDIBLE episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today we have an amazing guest, Steven Hayes.

Steven Hayes is a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Nevada.  Steven Hayes has done so much for the psychology field, writing a whopping 44 books (wow, right?!) and many research articles.  Steven Hayes also developed the evidence-based therapeutic modality that I use in my therapy office every day: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (also known as ACT).  ACT is a wonderful compliment to Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), as it relies heavily on Mindfulness, positive reinforcement and using Value-Based Behaviors.

In this interview, Steven Hayes and I discuss what Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) involves and how we can learn to diffuse from our thoughts.  You will find this especially helpful with you have anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Depression, mostly because we tend to fuse a lot with our thoughts when we struggle with these disorders.  However, the truth is, we all could learn the skill of diffusion and Steven Hayes does an amazing job of expelling why.   Steven Hayes also teaches us useful ACT tools to stay present, and the practice of living a life that is based on values, not fear or anxiety.

My favorite part of the interview is where Steven Hayes discussed why our thoughts sometimes link together and how it is completely a waste of time trying to block, suppress or avoid thoughts.   I am sure you will agree that Steven Hayes is a genius and that he has so much to teach us about our brain, our psyche and how we can react batter to our thoughts.

AND…..WE HAVE A HUGE SURPRISE!

ERP School is BACK!   Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video based course that includes modules on:

1. The science behind ERP
2. Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions
3. The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, and interoceptive exposures, as well as how to get creative with ERP
4. Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic and uncertainty
5. Troubleshoot common questions and concerns
6. BONUS 6 videos of the most common subtypes of OCD.

The course also includes many downloadable PDF’s and activities to help you navigate how to best apply ERP to your specific obsessions and compulsions.

We are so excited to finally share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School Community.  It’s a beautiful day to do hard things!

If you are worried about doing it alone, please don’t fear.  We meet bi-monthly on the FB group and on Instagram to talk about questions you may have.

Click HERE to sign up.

If you would like further information on Steven Hayes and access to his FREE mini course, visit http://www.stevenchayes.com/.  Click HERE for more info on Steven Hayes’ workbook Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, as well as his other books.

Ep. 82: Four Powerful Statements You Need

4 January 2019

Staring Fear In The Face With Four Powerful Statements

Hello there CBT School Rockstars!  Happy New Year!  

In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I want to give you the 4 Powerful Statements you need in 2019.  Even though this is directed at you for the new year, this episode is created in hope to get you ready for any circumstance and any time in your life.  

So here they are!

The #1 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……. “There is nothing wrong with me”

The #2 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is…….“I radically accept this situation”  

The #3 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……….“I am making the decisions around here from now on” 

The #4 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……“It is a beautiful day to do hard things” 

The whole purpose of this podcast episode is to help you move away from a life where fear makes all of your decisions and towards a life where we stare fear in the face and live the life we want to live as if fear wasn’t there at all.   We want to ask ourselves what we would do if fear never showed up and then go live that life while only bringing fear along for the ride.

CBTschool.com has many ways we want to help you “do hard things” in 2019 and we hope that these 4 Powerful Statements will help you move in that direction.   

We are excited to announce that ERP School is coming back in January.  Click HERE for more info.  ERP School is an online course that teaches all the Exposure & Response Prevention Tools you will need to manage Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, and Social Anxiety.

We are also excited to announce that BFRB School is also coming back in January.  Click HERE for more info.  BFRB School is a course that teaches those with Compulsive Skin Picking (Dermatillomania & Excoriation Disorder), Hair Pulling (Trichotillomania) and Compulsive Nail Biting the science-based tools they need to manage their symptoms and live a full life.

Sending you much love and healing vibes,

Kimberley

Ep. 81: Steps to Get Through a Hard Time with OCD Advocate Jemma Mrdak

28 December 2018

“You WILL get through this!” Interview with Fashion Blogger and OCD Advocate Jemma MrDak

Hello there CBT School Community! 

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today, we are so excited to share with you Jemma Mrdak.  Jemma is a well-known Australian Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger and an avid Mental Health advocate.  I first heard about Jemma on social media after she bravely came out and talked about her experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) on the Today show.  As soon as I saw her interview, I knew she would be such an inspiration to you all.  

In this episode, Jemma talks about her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), specifically checking and tapping compulsions.  Jemma talks about being so overwhelmed with anxiety that she was unable to get to school on time and fell behind in her studies. Jemma also talks about her success with seeking treatment from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) and how she used her tools to help her get her life back from OCD.  Jemma also shared her love for nature and exercise and how that helped her get in touch with the practice of Mindfulness.  If you are feeling hopeless about your future and questioning if you are able to get better at managing your anxiety and OCD, this episode is for you.  Jemma is so great at sharing what was easy, what was really hard and what roadblocks she came across in her treatment journey.  She is truly an inspiration and will give you some amazing words of wisdom to help with on your journey to mental wellness. 

For more info on Jemma, visit the below:

Website: astylishmoment.com

IG: @astylishmoment

 

Before we go, GET EXCITED!  ERP School is almost here again.  ERP School will be re-released in late January.   Click HERE to be the first one alerted by signing up to be on the waitlist.  

Ep. 80: How Practicing Self-Respect Can Lead to Self-Compassion

21 December 2018

How Practicing Self-Respect Can Lead to Self-Compassion

Hello there CBT School Family! I am so thrilled to share another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast with you.  

You guys know me well enough to know that I am a huge fan and advocate for the practice of self-compassion.  I love sharing the benefits of self-compassion and helpful ways to put it into practice. 

However, over the past few months, I have heard the hopelessness in some of your voices when you share with me that self-compassion just feels too hard and too triggering.  Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve to be kind to yourself, which is common in Anxiety, Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or you are afraid that practicing self-compassion will mean you lose control and become a lazy, useless bum (none of this is true, BTW).  

For those of you who are struggles with self-compassion, this podcast is for you.  Today we are talking all about how practicing self-respect can lead to self-compassion.  Self-respect is all about honoring your right to be treated fairly and kindly.  It is all about not treating yourself in a way that is disrespectful and hurtful.  We all deserve to be treated equally and fairly, and this is a practice that is crucial if you ever want to master the practice of self-compassion.   In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we will discuss effective ways to practice self-respect and learn how self-respect leads us towards the beneficial practice of self-compassion.  

 

During the podcast episode, we take a look at how you can improve self-respect by addressing these important questions. 

1) Do my behaviors represent and reflect self-respect? 

2) Do my behaviors respect my values? 

3) Do my behaviors respect my beliefs?  

4) Do my behaviors allow me to achieve my goals and values?

5) What are some times I have felt a true sense of self-respect? 

6) Does my behavior lead me towards a sense of mastery (of a skill or a situation)?

7) What behaviors am I doing that damage my sense of self-respect?  

 

I hope this podcast episode brings you closer to the practice of self-respect and self-compassion.   These are two concepts I am very invested in and I hope you find them helpful.  

Ep. 77: Managing Perfectionism and Learning To Be Good Enough (with Kim Foster Carlson)

30 November 2018

Managing Perfectionism and Learning To Be Good Enough (with Kim Foster Carlson)

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast!  This week, we talk about all things anxiety and mental health.

Today, I am excited to share with you our guest, Kim Foster Carlson.  Kim Foster Carlson is an award-winning broadcast journalist in San Francisco Bay and the author of the book Good Enough: How to Overcome Fear of Failure and Perfectionism To Live Your Best Life.

There is not a day in my office where I don’t see the debilitating anxiety that is caused by perfectionism.  Perfectionism can prevent us from trying new things, paralyze us when we have to perform, and can cause us to be very hard on ourselves.  In today’s podcast, Kim addressed many of the factors that might cause perfectionism, as well as some super helpful tools to manage it.  The difficult part is that we are constantly being bombarded by unrealistic expectations from our family, our social media accounts, from magazines and from our society’s expectations.

In this interview, Kim and I talk about perfectionism, fear of failure, anxiety and procrastination.

Kim shares her history of being an athlete and how perfectionism and the fear of failure caused her to be very hard on herself.

Kim also shares her story of going to therapy and realizing that perfectionism was the cause of her anger, anxiety and poor coping strategies.  She shared how this was triggered by stressors related to parenting and she was so open about how she got through some very difficult times.  Kim details many mindfulness skills that helped her along the road to becoming a “recovered perfectionist.”

One tip that I loved from today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was Kim’s example of Steph Curry, a professional basketball player.  Kim emphasized the importance of “finding the joy” (Steph Curry’s phrase) in everything we do by practicing gratitude and by verbally thanking someone every day.  I just loved this idea and this is a tool I am going to adopt myself.

I hope you enjoy this week’s episode.

Ep. 76: This is me…doing a hard thing

23 November 2018

This is me…doing a hard thing

Hello there lovely CBT School Community,

You all know how much I adore coming on here every week and sharing cool Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tips or fun Mindfulness tools with you all!?  As I often say, “these are skills for life” and sometimes we have to stare the dark place of mental illness in the face before we get introduced (and practice) these wonderful tools.   Sometimes, we have to hit rock bottom before we ask for help.  We have to be struggling so much that we have no choice but to double down and learn the tools we need to live a more mindful and healthy life.

This was definitely the case for me.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, I share with you my story with Mental Illness.

I am not going to lie.  I have felt many emotions about sharing my own story.  This week’s episode is one that has challenged me to be as brave as I can be.

I have been thinking about telling my own story of mental illness/health for some time and it has taken me many conversations with trusted colleagues and family members to come to a place where I felt ready.   So, today, I bravely share with you my story.  This is me….doing a hard thing.

In the episode, I talk about how I moved away from my small hometown to go to university.  Immediately, I was riddled with anxiety and panic.  I felt so painfully alone and I was plagued with the repetitive thought that “something bad will happen.”  I felt out of control and I had no tools to manage these terrifying feelings.  In this episode, I share how I responded to these thoughts in the only way I knew how.   I used what some would consider very positive behaviors and use them in a way that became very problematic.   Before too long, I was restricting my food, compulsively exercising and binge-eating to manage my emotions. I spent hours planning and calculating my calorie intake and I kept it all a secret, in fear that someone would find out how much I was struggling.  I was so afraid of being seen as weak or over-dramatic.  These behaviors stripped me of my joy, comfort and my life.

My hope with sharing my own personal story is to remind you that you can get better.  I also hope that it helps us all feel more connected and a part of the same community.  We all have our own story and struggles, and I wanted to share mine with you so you felt I understood what you might be going through.  While I might not have exactly the same story (or circumstances), we all get to the place where we have to ask for help.  We all get to the place where were feel so out of control that we have to make a change.  That was me.  And this is me….doing a hard thing.

I hope you find it helpful, or comforting.   Please know that you can get better and you can get your life back.

Ep. 75: Learn the Art of Feeling Good with Dr. David Burns

16 November 2018

Dr. David Burns Helps Us Learn the Art of Feeling Good

Hello!  My name is Kimberley Quinlan and welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.

For those of you who are new, welcome!  Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is an online resource that provides evidence-based tools and resources for those who are experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles.  CBT is an acronym for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  CBT is made up of Cognitive Therapy and Behavioral Therapy.

Today, I am so excited to share with you one of the masters in our field of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dr. David Burns.   Dr. Burns has been a legend in my mind for many years.  He wrote the book Feeling Good, which I consider one of the most valuable books for the management of faulty and unhelpful thoughts.

Dr. David Burns is an adjunct professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine.  David Burns is also the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy,  The Feeling Good Handbook, When Panic Attacks, and has a new book being written called Feeling Great (I cannot wait to read this one!).   Dr. David Burns brings Cognitive Therapy, Buddhist foundations and principals, and Behavioral Concepts into this amazing work.

Dr. Burns also created and copyrighted The Burns Depression Checklist, which is a rating scale for depression that I use very often in my office.

In our interview today, David Burns helps us by teaching how to better approach our faulty cognitions that cause depression.  Burns states that 50% of anxious people will be depressed and 100% of depressed people will be anxious.   He strongly believes that much of our depression is directly related to our faulty thoughts, which I am sure you will all find very interesting and inspiring.  What David Burns teaches us is how to correct our depressive thoughts and come up with strong, powerful statements to counter their incorrect content.  We talk about themes such as hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness.

Please note, there are points made by Mr. Burns regarding medication, but I really encourage you to speak with your doctor to make sure your medical and medication plans are best for you.  Every person is different and needs specific care.

Dr. David Burns also addresses these topics during the interview:

• Thoughts are the cause for depression.
• If you can change the way you think, you will change the way you feel.
• Recent studies researched Feeling Good, to test if it clinically helps those who are experiencing depression, and results showed it is highly effective for those who suffer from depression.
• How he conceptualizes recovery as either 100% recovery (where all symptoms are gone) and 200% recovery (a stage and experience of enlightenment).

Ep. 74: I challenge you to ONE day of Non-Judgment

10 November 2018

ONE Day Non-Judgment Challenge

Hello and welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we are talking about an interesting challenge.  

You see, recently I was dared to take an entire day to just listen to my body and feel my feelings and sit in peace.  I thought this was a fabulous idea so I shipped my kids and husband away for one day (I never do this BTW)

What quickly arose was one thing that was taking the joy out of what could have been a lovely day.  That thing was Self-judgment.  Self-judgment is the thing that kept bringing me out of simply spending the day with myself. 

“I should be doing this instead” 

“You are being lazy” 

“Why did you choose that activity?” 

“You have to do it this way because that way is a waste of money” 

“You shouldn’t be feeling this way” 

“You don’t deserve this” 

“Why did you do it that way?” 

“Why are you the way you are?

Here are just a few of the self-judgment statements we say to ourselves during the day.  When you see it on paper, it sounds so awful.  Yet, these are things we say to ourselves without hesitation or even awareness sometimes.   

So, I decided to change the focus of the day away from it being a day of freedom and pleasure and towards a day where I practiced non-judgment.  I called it the NON-JUDGMENT CHALLENGE DATE DAY (or #nonjudgmentdateday on social media).  

So, here is the challenge.  Non-Judgment Challenge Day is a day where you go out on your own for a whole day (or an hour or two) and you practice doing things you enjoy doing.  Do something pleasurable or exciting or new.  As you do this, be very aware of the thoughts in your mind.  During this date with yourself, observe your thoughts, both positive and negative, about yourself and the activity you are engaging in.  

Non-Judgment Challenge Day was a complete eye opener for me and I strongly encourage you to try it.   Listen in to this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast to hear about my reflections and struggles with my very own Non-Judgment Challenge Day. 

Also, I just wanted to let you know about “What if?”, a collaborative film project by Robin Roblee-Strauss for his senior thesis project at Hampshire College.  “What if?” Is a movie that documents the experiences of living with OCD. The film focuses on the voices of those struggling with OCD as the experts on their own internal experiences and recovery processes. And guess what….you can be involved in its creation! Go to www.whatifocdmovie.com to learn how you can be a part of the project by sharing your story, contributing cinematic or artistic expertise, or donating. By creating a movie with the help of individuals with OCD, Robin hopes to empower sufferers to speak out and show the world a brave and honest look into the struggle with uncertainty and anxiety.

Ep. 72: The Best FREE Mindful Tool

26 October 2018

The Best FREE Mindful Tool Is…

Clients and the CBT School community are often asking me for tools and tricks to manage anxiety.  Thankfully, we are so blessed there are so many scientifically proven tools and treatment modalities to help those with anxiety, depression, and other struggles.  However, I feel the need to bring us back to a mindful tool that we can use any time we want.   The great thing about this tool is that it is THE BEST FREE MINDFUL TOOL! That’s right! It is the best, and it is free.

Before we do that, I want to look at things abstractly for a second.  I promise it will make sense once I tell it so hear me out.

Let’s say I want to be a great mom.  I want my daughter to think I am the freaking best mom ever.

Here is the thing!  Just because I am her mother, that doesn’t automatically mean she and I will be good friends and have a great relationship.  Or, that she will even like me.

To be a freaking rockstar mom, and to make a lasting impact on her heart and well-being, I am going to have to nurture her and our relationship.

I am going to have to hear her pains.  I will need to sit with her when things are hard.  She will need me to hold her hand and be compassionate when she makes mistakes.  And wipe her tears when she cries.  And most of all, she will need me to not deny her of her anger and sadness and brattiness.  I am going to need to really be with her.

To have a nurturing and healing relationship, I can’t cheat and do it the fastest way.  She is not going to think I am an amazing mom just because I buy her the newest iPad and get her the best clothes and hire the best nanny to take care of her all the time.   Those things are great and will make her happy for the short term, but they won’t result in a good relationship with my daughter in the long term.  She won’t feel deeply loved by me and she won’t feel deeply seen.

If I want to have a lasting and healthy relationship, I have to actually sit with her.  Be with her.  Not disown her because she is angry or being naughty.  I can’t just leave it to the nanny to fix her when she is sad or angry or not cleaning her room.   I can’t buy her a trip to Disneyland and send her off with the nanny and expect that she will feel loved by me just because I arranged it and paid for it.   If I do that, she will understand that I will only be there when she is good, or when it is easy, and she will not feel worthy when she is having tough emotions.   Here is where the healing and growth occurs.

So, here is this week’s lesson.  When it comes to your mindfulness practice, you can’t cheat.  You too have to do the actual “being with.”   Our relationship with ourselves is no different.   We all want to be deeply understood.  We all want to feel worthy of being sat with.   We all know that feeling deeply seen is one of the most healing experiences we can be given.  Here’s the big question for this podcast episode.  Do you try to cheat when it comes to actually spending time with yourself and deeply sitting with your experience?  My guess is you are saying Yes.  We cheat ourselves on self-care and just “being” all the time.

So, let’s talk about how we befriend ourselves.  This is the best FREE mindful Tool I am talking about.  The best free Mindful tool is your breath.

We disregard breath as one of the best mindful tools and we push forward wanting more supercharged, easier tools.  During this podcast, we do a short breathing meditation, in hope to simply honor our “being” and “spend time with” ourselves.   Returning to our breath really is the best free mindful tool.

Before we go, here is a reminder to check out our swag!  WE ARE SO THRILLED TO FINALLY BE OFFERING IT!  We have an array of t-shirts and tanks for men, women, and children.  Each product has our very own CBT SCHOOL motto, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things.”  Check it out at the following link! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CBTschool