In this beautiful episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the amazing Andrea Barber about her new book, Full Circle: From Hollywood to Real Life and Back Again. In this interview, Andrea shares her experience with anxiety, panic and mental wellness. She shares why she wrote this book and her hopes for this memoir.
In her book, Andrea Barber shares, “To fans, I’ve always been synonymous with my character, since most people don’t know me in any other role. But now, I want you to accept the real me . . . and the fact that I’m nothing like I appear on TV. To know me is to realize that I am very flawed, and I have many shortcomings and insecurities. By sharing them with you, you may recognize things in yourself, and discover that you and I are not so unalike after all. For once, it will be nice to share Andrea with the world.”
Andrea shared what it was like having a huge support system, but still feeling completely alone with her anxiety, panic and depression. Andrea spends some time talking about how her anxiety manifests in stomach related symptoms. She also tells us about the process of accepting the application of medication in her wellness journey and her experience with the side effects of medications.
I just adored when Andrea shared what she learned about herself since going through her mental health journey and her new reflection on mental illness and mental wellness. One of my favorite lines from her book, she shared “It’s actually very empowering to think about: I have the power to change my life”.
One of the coolest things about Andrea Barber is her passion for speaking about suicide prevention and awareness. You will just adore the advice she gives. And finally, her most impactful message is this: “The most important thing perspective has taught me, and what I want to tell anyone out there who has been made to feel too broken to love, is that your illness does not define you.”
If you would like to apply for the 3rd annual UK OCD Camp please visit theocdcamp.com • Applications close 19th January • Interviews (15 mins) – W/C 27th January • If selected payment due by 1st March
Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.
In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.”
In response, Khloe explained: “Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.
This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?
Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.
In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.
One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?”
Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.
In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.
In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.
Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5) A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts. B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition. It is important that we specify if the symptoms are accompanied by good, fair or poor insight, as this can help us differentiate between the diagnosis of OCD and other mental illnesses that may look the same. With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true. With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true. With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder, differential diagnosis or set of symptoms
In an effort to really give you a good understanding of other diagnostic possibilities for someone showing similar, but not exact symptoms, I wanted to address some symptoms and disorders that would need to be RULED OUT before treatment. The reason for this is that small differences in the symptoms may drastically change the course of correct treatment. This is a crucial part of the assessment process, done by a therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or psychiatric nurse.
The first is perfectionism which can be divided into two categories, adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is a type of perfectionism that improves the quality of someone’s life while maladaptive perfectionism negatively impacts a person’s life. Research has shown that both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists have high personal standards, but failing to meet those standards can have a negative impact.
Perfectionism can also be categorized by orientation. Self-oriented perfectionism is perfectionism that is pushed by the individual person. Self-oriented perfectionists are very hard on themselves, set very high standards for themselves and have rules and expectations that are often unreasonable. Socially prescribed perfectionism is perfectionism that occurs due to societal expectations. This might include the expectation to get good grades in order to have a good life or having to have the “perfect” body to be loved.
It is also important that we address the similarities and differences between OCD and OCPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), OCPD is explained as “a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.” People with OCPD have an unhealthy expectation of achieving perfection and have an excessive devotion to work at the expense of leisure time and close personal relationships. They are often inflexible with issues related to ethics and morality and can be seen as judgmental and expect others to live to the same standard.
So, when answering the question, “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I encourage us all to do our best to continue to educate others on the differences between OCD, levels of insight related to OCD, perfectionism, and OCPD.
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I talk about how “you cannot skip the line.” This podcast episode is about an event that happened to me a few weeks ago that blew my mind. It pretty much punched me in the gut. Yes, you read that right. It was a hard, hard day. In this episode, I speak about attending a meditation class and being given a very hard lesson. The lesson was, “You cannot skip the line”. Let me tell you more.
In this class, I asked what I thought was a simple question. Without expecting it, the teacher taught me a very important lesson that I think will impact me for quite some time.
She responded with “There is a lesson for everyone here. It is important that you do not skip the line here. You must do the work. If you haven’t wrestled with this practice over and over, do not come to me for the answers.”
I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I felt called out. I felt anger.
But, after some time and contemplation, I asked myself, “Is there a pattern here?” And guess what?! There was. The lesson was that you cannot skip the line to the “know” the answer. When you “skip the line”, you prevent yourself from learning the real process. Knowing will only help for the first time or two. After that, it takes practice and patience.
In this episode, I will walk you through a 4 step process to help you lean in and do the work instead of just asking questions.
These steps include being aware that you cannot skip the line and then catching yourself when you are doing such behavior. The steps also involve being honest with yourself when you are engaging in such behavior instead of staying in the unknown. The goal is to be as patient as you can along the way. And lastly, the most important step involves Compassion, Compassion, Compassion.
I hope this helps you in some way to notice when you are “skipping the line.”
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Please check out this excellent blog post by the amazing Shala Nicely, LPC on the problem with saying “I’m so OCD.”
Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week’s podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count. In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure.
Here are examples of how I failed 100 times:
• I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast. A lot of people said no. I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try. But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn’t think would say yes did.
• I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it.
• I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am).
• I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later).
• I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it).
• I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet.
But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again.
Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much.
◆ Remember that course I told you about? I got so sick, I didn’t finish it. I had to drop out and this made me face imperfection and failure head-on.
◆ I was a less than perfect therapist! I missed sessions with clients, and I double booked clients during times when I was so overwhelmed.
◆ I gave myself permission to share the struggles I have had with friends. I was so embarrassed to do this, but I am so glad I did. I learned that when you share your struggles, you actually feel more connected with the people around you.
But finally, the most important example of how I failed 100 times is the decision I have made to take a month off of the podcast. After much consideration, I have decided to listen to my body and take the month of December to rest, rejuvenate and repair. I fought this decision for a long time, but I know it is what I need.
With that being said, I want to thank you for being so loyal and kind to me. I adore your support. I wish you a very Happy 2019 Holiday! I will be back in January, ready to go. Ready to fail!
FREE anxiety video training! Learn how to become more intentional with the words you use to describe yourself, your experiences and your future. Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely
Are you struggling with gratitude this holiday season? If so, this episode is exactly what you might need to hear. In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I spoke with Shala Nicely about struggling with gratitude. Together, we address why some people might be struggling with gratitude or being grateful, especially if they are also struggling with mental health.
In this episode, Shala Nicely addresses the personal struggles she has had in the past with gratitude and some incredible tools to manage this.
Shala so beautifully articulates three common reasons why people struggle with gratitude. The first two struggles fall under the category, that Shala calls, gratitude by comparison. This often occurs when you are supposed to be doing “better” than someone else, but you do not feel very grateful. Shala explains that gratitude by comparison can fall into two separate categories: relief-induced gratitude and guilt-induced gratitude.
The third common struggle is forced gratitude. An example of this might be, “I should be grateful and I’m not. What’s wrong with me?” or, “You have everything going for you. Why can’t you just be thankful for what you have instead of focusing on the negative?”
I love that Shala addresses how forced gratitude quickly becomes what we know clinically as toxic positivity.
Some great tips if you are struggling with gratitude might be:
Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today I am so thrilled to introduce to you this week’s guest, Alegra Kastens, MA. Alegra is not just a guest on the podcast. Alegra is also a very important part of CBT School and has helped me so much since CBT School launched in 2018. Alegra Kastens has been a huge part of the creation of this podcast, uploading it each week, creating a lot of the technological support, creating images and supporting me when I am struggling with all the projects. Alegra is now moving forward with her career and is working as a therapist who specializes in OCD.
In today’s discussion, Alegra told us about the first moment she had her first intrusive thought and how these impacted her life. She also shared with us the process of her finally deciding to ask for help, even though she was petrified and so ashamed. Alegra shared what she found helpful and not helpful from her therapist and how she was supported and encouraged to seek specialized OCD treatment from her therapist who did not specialize in OCD.
What I loved most about this episode is that Alegra Kastens so candidly talks about her experience of shame, guilt, and stigma related to having OCD. Alegra’s main sub-type of OCD was pedophilia obsessions, which caused her to be stuck in self-doubt, self-criticism and complete panic for a very long time. Alegra Kastens shared what it was like to experience sexual obsessions such as pedophilia obsessions and what it was like to undergo Exposure and Response prevention for her OCD symptoms. Alegra shared some of the ERP exposures looked like and the importance of being given psycho-education about ERP before beginning. I loved how much education and inspiration Alegra Kastens brought to this conversation.
To learn more about her story, click HERE to read an article she wrote for IntrusiveThoughts.org.
Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.
This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway. It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family. As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year.
My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right! I have made a deal with myself. NO MORE RUSHING. No more rushing my kids. No more rushing my family. No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety.
My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me.
On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the love that we all felt for each other. We looked up to the horizon instead of focusing on the road and the computer screens and the phones. We connected and I didn’t rush a thing.
My hope for this podcast is to inspire you to take on the goal of NO MORE RUSHING and just see how much beauty that comes from this.
OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here! This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears. The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.
Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way.
In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together!
The listener’s question is: “I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But sometimes I feel like I escape when I try to live in the present moment. It’s like my OCD tells me ‘wow, you have learned a new tool…great, but do you know what – if something is contaminated or dangerous it doesn’t matter if you try to live in the present moment. You are just kidding yourself! You have to take care of the problems from yesterday and you have to make sure you have a future to live in. Don’t be fooled into that mindfulness stuff…’ My mind gets twisted. Do you have any thoughts that can bring some clarity?”
Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful awareness weeks! BFRB Awareness week is happening NOW and ends on October 7. You can participate by attending local events, joining the conversation online, and more. Click HERE for more information.
OCD Awareness Week, from October 13-19, is almost here! This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears. The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek.
In today’s episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism. I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week’s guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take her life back from Perfectionism. This episode is jam packed with tools and strategies to demonstrate how to manage perfectionism in your life.
In this episode, Monica answered the below questions and delivered some incredible insight into how to manage perfectionism in areas I myself had never considered.
What is perfectionism and how has it impacted your life?
What did perfectionism look like for you personally?
We often praise people who are “perfect.” What are your thoughts on this?
At what point in your life did you realize you were a perfectionist?
What did perfectionism look like for you personally?
How long had you experienced perfectionism?
What was your experience with overcoming perfectionism?
What advice do you have to those who experience perfectionism?
Were there any roadblocks/setbacks etc to this journey for you?
If you are early in the process of learning about perfectionism or you are well aware of your perfectionistic characteristics, I am sure you will benefit from this incredible interview.
Before we go, I want to remind you that ERP School for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is available for purchase until October 1, 2019! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Click HERE for more information and to purchase.
This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is called “Watch your mouth” and I mean that in the kindest possible way. I know we usually hear the phrase “Watch your mouth” as a phrase of discipline and can often be shocked or intimidated by such a statement. In this episode, we talk all about the words we use in daily life.
We address how we often say things that simply are not true, or are quite unkind. Because we often unconsciously believe what we tell ourselves, we have be careful not to address ourselves in ways that are unhelpful. Take a quick look at the below examples: • “I NEVER do anything right” • “I am so BAD for having this thought” • “You ALWAYS make me anxious”
Here are a few examples of ways in which we say things that are untrue and unhelpful. When we do this, we not only feed ourselves stories that are unhelpful but we also create an environment where negativity exists. I can make the assumption that these negative statements are not helpful for you. In this episode, we hope to inspire you to “watch your mouth” carefully and take note when you are speaking in a way that might exacerbate your anxiety.
ERP School was carefully created to cover the most important components of Exposure & Response Prevention. The ERP School includes the following modules: 1. The Science behind Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 2. Identifying YOUR Obsessions and Compulsions 3. Different Approaches to Practicing Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 1. Gradual Exposure & Response Prevention 2. Scripting and Flooding. 3. Opposite Action Skills 4. Interoceptive ERP 5. Let’s Get Creative with ERP 4. Managing Uncertainty and Discomfort with Mindfulness 5. Troubleshooting Common Issues and Concerns 6. BONUS Material: OCD Sub-types and Themes
We like to keep the courses super affordable so that everyone gets a chance to learn the tools needed to manage anxiety, obsessions, and compulsions. Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is $197.
Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School includes 18 videos, supplemental PDF’s and handouts to help you apply the content to your obsessions and compulsions, as well as a BONUS 7 videos on applying ERP to the common OCD Sub-types.
In total, the course is almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills I teach my face-to-face clients.
CBT School is committed to supporting you throughout this process. If you have any questions, Kimberley meets bi-monthly on Facebook and Instagram for her LIVE MAGIC MONDAY Q&A hour (every second and fourth Monday at 12 pm PST) where she answers questions and troubleshoots any concerns you may have.
Once you have purchased the course, you will have unlimited access to the videos.
Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is available for purchase just a few times per year. The cart for ERP School will open again September 20th, 2019 so get excited!
For more information on the course and to purchase, click HERE.
