Depression

Ep. 74: I challenge you to ONE day of Non-Judgment

10 November 2018

ONE Day Non-Judgment Challenge

Hello and welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we are talking about an interesting challenge.  

You see, recently I was dared to take an entire day to just listen to my body and feel my feelings and sit in peace.  I thought this was a fabulous idea so I shipped my kids and husband away for one day (I never do this BTW)

What quickly arose was one thing that was taking the joy out of what could have been a lovely day.  That thing was Self-judgment.  Self-judgment is the thing that kept bringing me out of simply spending the day with myself. 

“I should be doing this instead” 

“You are being lazy” 

“Why did you choose that activity?” 

“You have to do it this way because that way is a waste of money” 

“You shouldn’t be feeling this way” 

“You don’t deserve this” 

“Why did you do it that way?” 

“Why are you the way you are?

Here are just a few of the self-judgment statements we say to ourselves during the day.  When you see it on paper, it sounds so awful.  Yet, these are things we say to ourselves without hesitation or even awareness sometimes.   

So, I decided to change the focus of the day away from it being a day of freedom and pleasure and towards a day where I practiced non-judgment.  I called it the NON-JUDGMENT CHALLENGE DATE DAY (or #nonjudgmentdateday on social media).  

So, here is the challenge.  Non-Judgment Challenge Day is a day where you go out on your own for a whole day (or an hour or two) and you practice doing things you enjoy doing.  Do something pleasurable or exciting or new.  As you do this, be very aware of the thoughts in your mind.  During this date with yourself, observe your thoughts, both positive and negative, about yourself and the activity you are engaging in.  

Non-Judgment Challenge Day was a complete eye opener for me and I strongly encourage you to try it.   Listen in to this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast to hear about my reflections and struggles with my very own Non-Judgment Challenge Day. 

Also, I just wanted to let you know about “What if?”, a collaborative film project by Robin Roblee-Strauss for his senior thesis project at Hampshire College.  “What if?” Is a movie that documents the experiences of living with OCD. The film focuses on the voices of those struggling with OCD as the experts on their own internal experiences and recovery processes. And guess what….you can be involved in its creation! Go to www.whatifocdmovie.com to learn how you can be a part of the project by sharing your story, contributing cinematic or artistic expertise, or donating. By creating a movie with the help of individuals with OCD, Robin hopes to empower sufferers to speak out and show the world a brave and honest look into the struggle with uncertainty and anxiety.

Ep. 72: The Best FREE Mindful Tool

26 October 2018

The Best FREE Mindful Tool Is…

Clients and the CBT School community are often asking me for tools and tricks to manage anxiety.  Thankfully, we are so blessed there are so many scientifically proven tools and treatment modalities to help those with anxiety, depression, and other struggles.  However, I feel the need to bring us back to a mindful tool that we can use any time we want.   The great thing about this tool is that it is THE BEST FREE MINDFUL TOOL! That’s right! It is the best, and it is free.

Before we do that, I want to look at things abstractly for a second.  I promise it will make sense once I tell it so hear me out.

Let’s say I want to be a great mom.  I want my daughter to think I am the freaking best mom ever.

Here is the thing!  Just because I am her mother, that doesn’t automatically mean she and I will be good friends and have a great relationship.  Or, that she will even like me.

To be a freaking rockstar mom, and to make a lasting impact on her heart and well-being, I am going to have to nurture her and our relationship.

I am going to have to hear her pains.  I will need to sit with her when things are hard.  She will need me to hold her hand and be compassionate when she makes mistakes.  And wipe her tears when she cries.  And most of all, she will need me to not deny her of her anger and sadness and brattiness.  I am going to need to really be with her.

To have a nurturing and healing relationship, I can’t cheat and do it the fastest way.  She is not going to think I am an amazing mom just because I buy her the newest iPad and get her the best clothes and hire the best nanny to take care of her all the time.   Those things are great and will make her happy for the short term, but they won’t result in a good relationship with my daughter in the long term.  She won’t feel deeply loved by me and she won’t feel deeply seen.

If I want to have a lasting and healthy relationship, I have to actually sit with her.  Be with her.  Not disown her because she is angry or being naughty.  I can’t just leave it to the nanny to fix her when she is sad or angry or not cleaning her room.   I can’t buy her a trip to Disneyland and send her off with the nanny and expect that she will feel loved by me just because I arranged it and paid for it.   If I do that, she will understand that I will only be there when she is good, or when it is easy, and she will not feel worthy when she is having tough emotions.   Here is where the healing and growth occurs.

So, here is this week’s lesson.  When it comes to your mindfulness practice, you can’t cheat.  You too have to do the actual “being with.”   Our relationship with ourselves is no different.   We all want to be deeply understood.  We all want to feel worthy of being sat with.   We all know that feeling deeply seen is one of the most healing experiences we can be given.  Here’s the big question for this podcast episode.  Do you try to cheat when it comes to actually spending time with yourself and deeply sitting with your experience?  My guess is you are saying Yes.  We cheat ourselves on self-care and just “being” all the time.

So, let’s talk about how we befriend ourselves.  This is the best FREE mindful Tool I am talking about.  The best free Mindful tool is your breath.

We disregard breath as one of the best mindful tools and we push forward wanting more supercharged, easier tools.  During this podcast, we do a short breathing meditation, in hope to simply honor our “being” and “spend time with” ourselves.   Returning to our breath really is the best free mindful tool.

Before we go, here is a reminder to check out our swag!  WE ARE SO THRILLED TO FINALLY BE OFFERING IT!  We have an array of t-shirts and tanks for men, women, and children.  Each product has our very own CBT SCHOOL motto, “It is a beautiful day to do hard things.”  Check it out at the following link! https://www.etsy.com/shop/CBTschool

Ep. 71: How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg) 

19 October 2018

How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg)

Hello there and welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.  Today we have the final episode of the “We can do hard things” series; a series of episodes where we have inspirational and courageous guests who talk about hard and life-changing things.  I have enjoyed this series so much and hope to start it back up again early next year.  I just loved having all of the wonderful guests, who inspired me to be better and brave and more courageous.  

Today we are discussing how to talk to others about mental illness.  I often get asked questions about how to share your story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Eating Disorder or Panic Disorder or depression with loved ones.  If you are wondering how to talk to others about mental illness, this is the episode for you.  

In this week’s episode, we have State Representative of Pennsylvania, Michael Schlossberg.  Michael Schlossberg is not only a State Representative.  He is a mental health advocate and the author of the fiction book Redemption.  Redemption is a science fiction book about a character who defeats depression and anxiety.  If you are interested in reading this book (the first of a three-part series), click HERE.  

During this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, Schlossberg talks about his response to Robin Williams’ death by suicide and how that propelled him to be more open about his own depression and anxiety.   We talk about the experience of depression and how it can keep you feeling alone and isolated.  Schlossberg has many pieces of helpful information on how to talk to others about mental illness.  He talked about how talking to others about his mental illness made him feel closer to others and how it helped him to be more accepting and kind to himself.  

The best advice I took from this episode was “There are more people in their rooms crying than you would ever notice.  1/5 Americans have depression. You are not alone.” 

Click HERE to learn more about Michael’s story and his focus on mental health in his governmental work.  Find him on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE.

Ep. 69: Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

6 October 2018

Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is going to blow your mind!  Yes!  You better believe it! If you have been thinking you should start a self-compassion practice for yourself, THIS is the episode for you.  Today we are going to discuss everything you need to know about self-compassion.

This week I am so honored to talk with Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and Consultant Clinical Psychologist at the Derbyshire Health Care Foundation Trust.

Paul Gilbert is what I consider a Self-Compassion and Shame “Guru.”  We all know shame and we all know how difficult shame can be when it comes to Anxiety Disorders, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), such as Trichotillomania (hair pulling) and Dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking).  Paul shares with us his beautiful insight and understanding of the human brain and how to apply self-compassion in our daily living.  So much of what Paul has to say compliments the discussions we have had on the podcast already.

Professor Gilbert performed psychopathology research for over 35 years with a special focus on shame and the treatment of shame-based difficulties. Paul Gilbert was the founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) and I am certain you are going to LOVE what he has to say.  Paul Gilbert has written and edited 20 books and established the Compassionate Mind Foundation in 2006. He was awarded an OBE in March 2011.

During this interview, Paul shares everything you need to know about self-compassion. Paul explains his work and research on self-compassion and how he came to practice and develop Compassion-Focused Therapy.  Paul addresses why he thinks we are so hostile or self-critical towards oneself and what he considers the most important tools for practicing self-compassion

The most beautiful part of this podcast episode is that we ALL need to be better at practicing self-compassion.

As a reminder, it’s BFRB Awareness Week (October 1-7)!  Click here for more information on BFRB School, which is a complete online course for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s).

Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up from October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

Ep. 68: How to do HARD THINGS!

28 September 2018

How To Do HARD THINGS…It’s A Beautiful Day For It!!

Welcome back to another Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast episode!  This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about How to do Hard Things.

I know I say “Its a beautiful day to do hard things” all the time, and sometimes people message me or email and ask me, “How do I do hard things?”  Even friends and loved ones might call to ask, “Can you teach me how to do hard things?”  These hard things might be doing Exposure & Response Prevention (doing something that scares you), taking a test, going to a doctor visit, traveling long distances, feeling intense feelings such as sadness or grief, delivering a speech, experiencing pain or any other event that scares the pants off you.  🙂

A little note on this before we move on; Doing a Hard Thing is doing the thing that scares YOU, even if it doesn’t scare others.  If it is hard for you, it is hard.  Try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to what is hard for you vs. others.

After talking with a dear, loved one this week about an upcoming “hard thing” they were preparing to do, I decided to write them a letter.  My hope was they could read it as they prepared to stare their hard thing in the face (take that hard thing!).  After sending it, I wondered if maybe you needed a similar letter.

So, here we go.  Here is the letter I sent my friend.  I hope you find it helpful in understanding how to do hard things.

 

“Hi my love, 

Here are the most important things to remember when dealing with fear, dread, and panic.

Just because your brain is telling you there is “danger,” doesn’t make it true or real or correct. Our brain misfires (and make mistakes) ALL the time and it is our job to help direct it back to more reasonable reactions. If we react with resistance, we keep training it to misfire.

Our job is to just allow the anxiety, without reacting to it. We gently allow it to be present and allow it to rise and fall on its own. With this practice, we not only re-train our brain, but we learn that beyond this moment of discomfort is freedom. Just a few minutes beyond this discomfort is our opportunity to do whatever the fuck we want with our lives. Fear doesn’t get to make our decisions. Our values and hopes and dreams do.

You are strong, but you don’t have to be stronger than fear. It’s not a fight, so don’t fight it. Slow everything down and gently say to it, “its ok, fear. I am just going to allow you to be here while I do the thing I love to do. You don’t get to control me.

Love, 
Kimberley”

 

Also, CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists.  The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience.   Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event.  Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community.  Click here to join.

Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up: October 7-13!  OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego.  Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.

Ep. 66: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE!

14 September 2018

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE!

This podcast episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about the Seasons.   I have received a lot of requests to talk about changing seasons as we move from Summer to Autumn (here in the Northern Hemisphere).  It isn’t just here.  I am sure it is all around the world right now, as the seasons change from Winter to Spring for the Southern Hemisphere (Love you Australia!).

There is no doubt that the seasons impact out mental health.  In this week’s podcast, I look at a few important things to consider when managing anxiety, depression, OCD and other mental health issues.

First let’s look at how the change in temperature impacts us on a Medical level.

Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is understood to be a seasonal depression, affecting 5% of the population of US residents.  Yes!  It’s that high.  If you are someone who is highly impacted by the temperature changes, you are definitely not alone.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be treated with light therapy, outdoor activity and medication.  Seasonal Affective Disorder isn’t just due to changes in seasons.  It often occurs when daylight saving times changes and we “fall back,” meaning we have less light during the day.  When days get shorter, we have less time to get outdoors and move our bodies and soak up that glorious sunlight, which is linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms.

We also know that colder weather can affect our circadian rhythms, causing us to have more depressive symptoms.  When we are tired, we have less energy, causing us to feel down or sad or, in some cases, depressed.

We also know that the season changes impact us on a Psychological level.   We can also see changes in our thoughts.

Negative thoughts can create depressive symptoms such as hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness.  Our job is to correct any negative or faulty thoughts so we are not so impacted by the weather or time changes.   We can also be more mindful when these thoughts arise.

In this episode, we also can look at the seasons from a metaphorical stand point. We need to be careful how we approach the seasons, similar to how we approach our emotions.

We could consider some emotions as winter (like sadness and shame and guilt) and some emotions as summer (like happiness and joy and arousal).  We could consider autumn being patience and letting go and shedding what doesn’t serve us.   We could also consider spring a time where we feel free and hopeful and alive.   Metaphorically, if we treat one season (environmentally or emotionally) like it is less than or worse than, we will in turn start to have aversion to it.   In this episode, we talk about how to be open to all of the seasons, whether you enjoy them or not.

Lastly, Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is HERE!  Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online, video-based course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  The doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6^th, 2018 until September 20^th, 2018.  Six more days!!  We are so excited to share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School community.  Its a beautiful day to do hard things!

 

Ep. 65: ERP Is the Coolest Thing!

7 September 2018

ERP Is the Coolest Thing!

If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or any other mental health struggle, you are going to LOVE this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   This week we have Nathalie Maragoni, an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who not only treats Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other anxiety disorders, but also knows exactly what it is like the experience the terror of intrusive thoughts, panic attacks and brutal compulsions.   She said it best herself: “ERP is the coolest thing!”

In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Nathalie talks with us about how she struggles finding the correct therapy for her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and how she drove for over 1.5 hours to get a treatment specialist who used Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP).  Nathalie also talks about her struggle with different types of obsessions and compulsions.   She says, “Willingness is the key to managing OCD” and she could not be more correct about this.  We just loved how she shared her love for Exposure & Response Prevention and how “ERP is the coolest thing!”

Nathalie shares the importance of continuing ERP after treatment. She found that getting the proper treatment alone (ERP) was not enough to help her live a full and thriving life with OCD.  She discusses the importance of applying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how this helps her live a value-based life where she can just allow thoughts to be there, instead of fusing with them.  For more information about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, click HERE.   Nathalie talks about how she is using the book The Happiness Trap to help her understand that “Every experience comes with a good feeling and a bad feeling.”

In other news, Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) school is HERE.  Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Just like Nathalie says, ERP is the coolest thing!

Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video-based course that includes modules on:

1. The science behind ERP
2. Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions
3. The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, interoceptive exposures and how to get creative with ERP
4. Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic and uncertainty
5. Troubleshooting common questions and concerns
6. BONUS videos explaining the most common subtypes of OCD and how to apply ERP to these obsessions and compulsions.

The course also includes many downloadable PDF’s and activities to help you navigate how to best apply ERP to your specific obsessions and compulsions.

We are so excited to finally share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School community.  Its a beautiful day to do hard things!

If you are worried about doing it alone, please don’t fear.  We meet bi-monthly on the FB group and on IG to talk about questions you may have.

 

Nathalie Maragoni is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at OCDSpecialists.com.  They now have offices in Bakersfeild and Los Angeles under Supervisor, Stacey Kuhl Wochner.  Nathalie can be found on Instagram at @mindonfire_ocd.

Ep. 64: Don’t Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

31 August 2018

Don’t Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

Welcome back to YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST!

We have some SUPER exciting news this week.   We are offering a NEW and FREE training called “The 10 Things you absolutely need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).”  This webinar will be great if you are new to OCD and looking for some direction.  It will also be a fantastic refresher into the key concepts of OCD treatment, if you are already on your road to recovery.   If you are interested, click HERE to check it out.

Next piece of exciting news! ERP school will be here in less than ONE WEEK!  Heck yes!!  Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is an online course for those who don’t have access to a therapist who practices ERP and science-based skills for OCD.  I will be talking a lot about this in the next few weeks, as the doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6^th, 2018 until September 20^th, 2018.   Keep it in mind that this course will only be available to purchase during that time.    ONE WEEK!!  It is right around the corner and I could not be happier and more excited.

Do you ever feel like you are doing the same thing, over and over, with no change in result?  You realize your fruitless outcomes and you decide you are going to try harder this time.   You might even make a pact with yourself that you will NEVER do that one thing again and you promise yourself that this is the time it will be successful. But, just like last time, you get the same result and you are left feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.   Well, if this is you, this episode is going to change some things for you.

This week we have a wonderful interview with Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., who is a psychologist based out of Illinois specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders.  In addition to being the president of a private practice group called Anxiety Centers of Illinois, Patrick McGrath is also the Clinical Director of the AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital’s Center for Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Program and President of OCD-Midwest, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. I met Patrick at the IOCDF Conference and we immediately hit it off and agreed to do an impromptu interview.   It was so much fun!  You might even notice it was more of a conversation than an interview, but I loved it and was so thrilled to hear Patrick’s wisdom.  If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) course, Patrick’s talk today might help motivate you towards that goal.  He beautifully talks about how to DON’T TRY HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT and this is definitely a concept you have to consider when starting ERP.

Patrick also discusses the steps his clients need to know to move towards a “Don’t try harder, try different” approach.  Click HERE for more information on his stress management workbook titled Don’t Try Harder, Try Different and HERE for more information on his book titled The OCD Answer Book: Professional Answers to More Than 250 Top Questions about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did!

If you are at all interested in taking the Exposure & Response Prevention School (ERP SCHOOL) online course for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), click HERE.

Ep. 63: Addressing Fear Like A Scientist

25 August 2018

Ep. 61: “Trust your capacity to change” – Tara Brach Interview

10 August 2018

“Trust your capacity to change” – Tara Brach Interview