Podcast/Blog

Ep. 112: Affordable Self-Care (with Dr. Jenn Hardy)

2 August 2019

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will really change the way you look at and relate to Self-care. In this episode, we aren’t talking about luxurious, expensive and unsustainable self-care.  We are talking about affordable self-care.  And, we are talking about self-care that costs NOTHING!  If you struggle with self-care, this is the episode for you.  If you struggle to even be aware of when you need self-care, this is the episode for you. 

In this episode, we talk with Psychologist Dr. Jenn Hardy about how marketing and media have made self-care into something that should look perfect, cost a lot of money and be luxurious.  Dr. Jenn Hardy brings up the wonderful point that a self-care plan that is expensive and indulgent is not sustainable and won’t fit into most people’s daily lives.  Dr. Jenn Hardy addresses a concept she coined, affordable self-care, which is taking care of your basic needs and making time each day to give your body and mind what it needs.  

Here are a few examples of affordable self-care that you can include into your life in simple and easy ways. 

• Going pee when you need to pee
• Journaling 
• Slowing down 
• Taking a breath between activities 
• Honoring what your body needs
• Saying no to things 

The thing I love the most about this episode is that we learn just how accessible affordable self-care is.  We all have access to affordable self-care, no matter what your income is, where you live and what you do for a living. 

For more information on Dr. Jenn Hardy, visit:

Instagram: @drjennhardy

Website: Drjennhardy.com 

Before we go, I want to share a virtual conference with you that I will be speaking at (from August 5th-15th): Share Triumph Cancer Conference. I will be speaking at this free, virtual event in which women share how they made decisions about medical treatment and discuss how the emotional effects of diagnosis impact them today.  Specifically, I will be talking about managing anxiety related to physical illness and cancer. This event brings together renowned doctors, therapists, nonprofits, fashion brands, comedians, podcasters, survivors and metavivors teaching you how to get through diagnosis, treatment and the aftermath to help keep your mind and spirit intact! Click HERE for more information and to register

Ep. 111: My Takeaways From the 2019 IOCDF Conference

26 July 2019

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I am sharing my takeaways from the 2019 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Conference. I just got back and it was possibly one of the most wonderful experiences.  This year, the conference was in Austin, Texas, and I won’t lie…it was HOT.  I was super impressed with the people from Texas, as they were so kind, cheerful and helpful.

In today’s episode, I wanted to give you guys a quick peek at what I took away from the 2019 IOCDF conference this year.  The 2019 IOCDF Conference is a conference that is held annually to help provide education, support, and advocacy for those who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Health Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, Tic Disorder or Tourette’s Disorder and general anxiety.  It is a wonderful opportunity for those who need extra support or want to learn the gold-standard treatment for OCD. 

Not only is it an educational weekend, but it is also a weekend filled with hope, love, and unconditional acceptance.  Here is what I took away from this year’s 2019 IOCDF Conference. 

First of all, you guys are so kind. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed and honored I was to meet so many of you.  Thank you to each and every one of you who came and said hi, gave me hugs, thanked me for the work I am so honored to do and for those of you who showered me with the sweetest and most thoughtful gifts.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Now, once again this year, I was honored to host the 2019 Compassion Collective support group for Self-Compassion with my dear friend Michelle Massi.  Michelle and I met each morning at the very early hour of 7 am to sit with a group of beautiful humans who are invested in being kinder and more compassionate to themselves.  It was a beautiful group and, once again, we got to peek inside their minds for an hour each morning and learn just how hard you all are on yourselves.  Wowsers, you guys.  Humans are FAR too hard on themselves.  The main message we tried to share with y’all (We were in Texas hehe) was to drop the idea of getting A+ in life and to shoot for a B-.  Be a B- human.  Give life a B- effort.  Give yourselves a little break here and there. 

In addition to running the Compassion Collective group, I also had the honor of running the Women’s OCD Support Group with my dear friend, Beth Brawley.   The one big takeaway from these amazing women was to be unapologetically yourself.  As women, we need to stop apologizing for ourselves and just own the struggles and wins that we have.  

Another thing I heard from attendees over and over in the elevators and hotel halls is the strong urge and pressure to make themselves attend each and every presentation.  If anyone has attended and IOCDF Conference, you will know that the schedule is JAM PACKED every single hour of the day.  There is no way we can do it all.  I figured you guys are hard on yourself in daily life also so my message to you is that you don’t have to do it all.  

This one is SUPER important.  You are alone!  You really are not.  Each year, thousands of people meet in a random city in the USA to learn about OCD.  I know at home you may not know a single soul with OCD, but please know that people like you are out there and they are wonderful and kind and smart and funny and make my heart so full, just like YOU.   

The last takeaway from the 2019 IOCDF Conference is this.  YOU ARE SUPPORTED!   I was honored to attend the OCD Game Changers event at the conference and there I met a large number of OCD treatment providers and OCD Advocates who are on a mission to help you all and provide good treatment and to advocate for you and to fight for you.   You may have had terrible experiences with some therapists, but please know that there are some incredible therapists out there who are such badasses and they are fighting for you.  

Ep. 110: This Compassion Practice (Tonglen Meditation for anxiety) Will Change Your Life

18 July 2019

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, we are discussing a compassion practice that will change your life.  Today, we are talking about the Buddhist practice, Tonglen Meditation for anxiety. The ancient meditation practice of Tonglen is known as a practice of “taking and sending”.

Tonglen Meditation for anxiety is a practice that is similar to everything we talk about here on Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Tonglen Meditation for anxiety reverses our usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. Commonly, people with anxiety want to learn how to eliminate their own suffering and pronouns such as “I”, “Me” and “Mine” is the focus of their attention.  

The use of Tonglen is a practice of compassion for all humans, including ourselves, that allows us to visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath.  In the process of Tonglen Meditation for anxiety, we let go of patterns of selfishness and we bring love to both ourselves and others.  We create a practice where we take care of ourselves and others.

Tonglen Meditation for anxiety awakens our compassion and introduces us to a view of reality that is wider and more realistic.  Tonglen meditation for anxiety can be a formal meditation practice or can be used at any time for even brief periods of time. 

Tonglen Meditation for anxiety also allows us to send compassion to all humans and see that many other humans are just like ourselves.  This Tonglen Meditation for anxiety will bring you to see that you are not alone in your suffering.  The practice is to bring love and compassion to all living beings, as everyone is suffering in one way or another.  

Instead of beating ourselves up, we can use our personal struggles as a way to access common humanity (understanding what people are up against all over the world). As we breathe in the pain and suffering for all of us and breathe out love and compassion for all of us, we create a space where we can feel more deeply and honestly. We can use our personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

Please use this Tonglen Meditation for anxiety to remove the suffering of mankind, while also sending the relief.  Breathe out while releasing out comfort and happiness. Radiate love as widely as you can, CBT School community! 

Ep. 109: Why We Have to Have a Conversation About Suicide (with Joe Dennis)

12 July 2019

This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was not an easy one to record.  No one likes to have a conversation about suicide, but we need to.   We need to have a conversation about suicide more than ever and we need to keep having these conversations until we break the stigma of suicide.  

Recently, one of our dear CBT School members died by suicide and our community was heartbroken.  My heart was broken.  Even as a therapist, I cannot prepare myself enough for the conversation about suicide.  

Thankfully, as we all grieve this sad loss, we are joined today by Joe Dennis to help us work through this difficult topic.  Joe Dennis is the Clinical Director of Mindful Counseling in Utah with such a wonderful kind heart.  In a flash, Joe agreed to join me for a conversation about suicide where he educated us about suicide and gave us some wonderful tools and resources for those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide.  We also discussed tools and resources for those with a loved one who has died by suicide. 

Joe talked with us about why we now call it “Death by suicide” and the reasons for this terminology change. 

Joe also talked about the difference between passive suicidal ideation and active suicidal ideation and how to differentiate between the two.  Joe and I talked about why we struggle to talk about Suicide and how Depression, anxiety, trauma, etc. play into suicidal ideation.

Lastly, Joe talked about what is going through the mind of someone who is contemplating suicide and what tools/strategies/resources they can use when they are faced with this difficult time. 

I really hope that this podcast helps you to understand and approach suicide in a way that is less stigmatized, less shamed and less frightening.  

Thank you, Joe Dennis, for being on the show. 

For more information on Joe, visit:

Instagram: @joedennis.counsels

Website: https://mindfulcounselingutah.com

For more information on suicide awareness and prevention, visit or call:

Helpguide.org

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: 741741

Ep. 108: Take the Path of Most Resistance (with Dan Furlong)

5 July 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This week we are joined by the amazing Dan Furlong.  Dan Furlong is the man behind @maleanxietydepression on Instagram and is an inspiration to many in the mental health field.  

In this episode, Dan Furlong talks about his recent experience with running the Jungle Ultra in Peru through the Amazing Jungle.  Dan Furlong called it a “self-sufficient race” where he had to run for 5 days through the Amazon Jungle, 3 of which had torrential rain.  

Dan Furlong talked about his struggle with anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression.  Dan also talked about his struggles with suicidal ideation.  Dan said many inspiring things throughout this episode, but here are a few inspirational quotes that really got me thinking. 

When discussing his experiences with depression, Dan quoted, “You need to goal set your way out of depression. He talked about how he never lets himself give up and “only when you go through real pain do you find out who you are!” 

As Dan ran through the Amazon Jungle and faced many death-defying cliffs and traverses, he repeated to himself, “If you get through this, you can get through anything” and he referred to his OCD recovery in this discussion also.   Dan reported only getting 2-3 hours sleep each night and how he chose to run ahead to be allowed to take the “long course” which was running up to 1.5 marathons per day.  Just so inspiring, right?! 

Dan Furlong spoke extensively about his mindset during the run (and his OCD recovery) and how he has learned to “take the path of least resistance”.  Dan stated that “your brain will always talk you out of doing hard things” and because of this, he learned to “take the harder route”.

To donate and help those affected by OCD, click HERE.

To learn more about Dan, visit:

Instagram: @Maleanxietydepression

Website: Mad.com 

To purchase Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins, click HERE 

Ep. 107: Finding a Middle Path

28 June 2019

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking about finding a middle path in our recovery.  This is a very important topic to me, as it is what has helped me immensely in my own anxiety management.  

Finding a Middle path (or middle way) is about us seeing beyond our dualistic or black-and-white ways of thinking, behaving and being. 

Finding a middle path (or way) describes our journey of seeing the middle ground between attachment (where we cling and grasp onto things being a certain way) and aversion (where we run away from things that are not the way we want them to be). 

Finding a Middle Path is about stepping away from “good” and “bad” and seeing that there is no good and bad, and there is only neutral.  

In this episode, we talk about embracing the dialectics of change and stillness at the same time. We addressed how finding a middle path is being independent whilst also being a part of a larger community.  It is where we embrace tension, paradox and change and discover a world that is workable in the middle, not just at the beginning or end. 

One of the reasons I love this concept so much is that instead of always seeking resolution and completion and perfection, we let ourselves open and relax in the middle stages of our process.  We live in the reality of the present. The more we delve into the middle way, the more deeply we come to rest between the play of opposites. 

One of the hardest parts of this Buddhist practices is learning to trust in life itself.  In this episode, we touch on this as an important part of finding a middle path. 

For more information on Finding a Middle Path, read this wonderful article by Jack Kornfield: https://jackkornfield.com/finding-the-middle-way/

Ep. 106: Your Relationship with Anxiety

21 June 2019

Dr. Sarah Sarkis Talks About Anxiety Management and Your Relationship with Anxiety

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have Dr. Sarah Sarkis on to talk about Your Relationship with Anxiety.   Dr. Sarah Sarkis is a psychologist, writer, and performance consultant with a private practice in Honolulu, Hawaii (though it won’t take you long to discover she’s a Boston girl at heart). Her integrated approach is big on science, low on bullshit, empowering us to achieve long-term change and growth through an eclectic blend of psychology, neurobiology, and functional medicine.

Her blog, The Padded Room, is your virtual safe space to help you manage the jarring realities of life. There, you’ll find a soft landing for life’s harshest truths. You can find it at drsarahsarkis.com. 

Addressing your relationship with anxiety might be one of the most important steps you take when it comes to your anxiety management.  Dr. Sarah Sarkis beautifully shares how she approaches fear and how your relationship with anxiety can determine the degree of suffering around anxiety. She also addressed people’s conceptualization of “I cannot handle this” or “I cannot face this” when it comes to facing fears.  

During this interview, we also addressed concepts around Optimum Performance and Dr. Sarkis’ experience in her practice with patients in this area.  I am sure you will agree that changing your relationship with anxiety is a game changer when it comes to your mental health, and I am so excited to share this inspiring interview with you

For more information on Dr. Sarah Sarkis, visit:

Website: https://drsarahsarkis.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drsarahsarkis

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahsarkis/

Lastly, the annual IOCDF conference is being coming up SO SOON! It will be held in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

Ep. 105: My Reflection on Failing 100 Times

14 June 2019

Do you remember podcast episode #92 where I talked about my new goal of Failing 100 times?  At the beginning of this year, I set the goal to fail 100 times in my business, personally and in my life.  The whole concept came from a podcast episode by Amy Porterfield (EP# 247) where she set the goal to fail 100 times this year, not because she wanted to drop everything and mess up, but because she wanted to set goals that were so high that she was destined to “fail.”   The whole premise of failing 100 times was to reach for the stars instead of setting goals that held us back and limited us.

Well, I decided that I was going to fail 100 times this year, but I was hit by a rude awakening that has completely changed the way I think about failure.  As some of you may know, I have been struggling with some pretty serious medical and emotional issues this year.  It has been a very scary and uncertain journey for me, but I have learned so much about myself.  What ended up happening was that I ended up failing in ways I wasn’t even expecting and I came to see just how hard I am on myself.  

I am scared to share this with you, but I have decided that it is a beautiful day to do hard things.  So, this episode is about how I am failing at 100 things that I didn’t set out to fail.  I hope you find it helpful and that it inspires you to take a close look at how you conceptualize failure.  And finally, I ask you, how are you doing at failing 100 times this year? 

There are a few things I want to remind you of before we go! The annual IOCDF conference is being held in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

Catherine DeMonte, who joined us in Ep. 95 of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, is the author of a new self-help book that will be released on June 18, 2019.

Beep! Beep! Get Out of My Way! Seven Tools for Living Your Unstoppable Life is a practical self-help book grounded in Psychotherapist Catherine DeMonte’s 25 years of clinical psychotherapy practice. Based on the Abundance Circle groups she created and leads, this book contains the tools her clients used to realize their dreams.

Written with nurturing warmth and humor, this book addresses both the inner and outer work necessary for creating lasting shifts. You can manifest your “one big thing”— even when circumstances make it seem impossible.Click HERE to order on Amazon.

Ep. 104: Honor Your Hard Things

7 June 2019

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today is a little different.  I was all ready to record a podcast and all of a sudden, I put that podcast episode on hold and just spoke from the heart.  I just wanted to talk directly to you and remind you to honor your hard things.  I know when things are hard and you are struggling, it feels like you have no choice but to give up, but again, always honor your hard thing.

In this episode, I share about a recent “hard thing” I did with my daughter.  I shared how surprised I was by how hard it was and emphasized that we do not honor the hard things we do enough.  My goal was to address how we compare our struggles in mental health with others who do not have the same struggles.  Because of this, we don’t honor the hard things you are doing (which is a lot).  

In addition, we judge ourselves for struggling and we make it hard on ourselves when things are already hard.  My hope with this episode is to help you along to honor every hard thing you do.  My hope is that it gives you a moment to celebrate the work you are doing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Depression, Panic Disorder, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) and Eating Disorders.  It is hard work and I honor your hard things.  

Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.

Ep. 103: A Journey of Self-Compassion with Ethan Smith

31 May 2019

On today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking all about a journey of self-compassion.  Yep, that’s right!  This is one special episode.

This week we are joined by previous guest, Ethan Smith, the national ambassador for the charity called the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF).  Ethan talks all about his new experiences and journey of self-compassion and how he has learned a lot about himself in the past year.  Consider this Chapter 2 of Ethan’s story, as he shares his struggles with taking responsibility for what goes wrong in his life and not blaming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for his struggles.  Ethan also shares how he is learning how to cope with “bad” choices and making mistakes and how he was pushed into the practice of self-compassion when he realized he was still under the spell of internalized stigma of mental health.  This is such an important issue and one I want to focus on in the future of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  

Ethan also shared his journey of self-compassion as he learns how he would internally compare and contrast the mistakes he has made before, during and after treatment. He talked about how recognizing this process has made him realize how hard he really was on himself.  I think we can all resonate with this at times and Ethan beautifully shares his vulnerable and authentic experience.

Ethan addressed how he is now learning to cope with unrealistic expectations and how self-compassion has taught him to accept himself as he is.  He talked about how common humanity is a concept that he fought for so long in fear that it will make him complacent and careless. 

I am sure you will learn a lot from this episode and I hope that it helps you reflect on your journey of self-compassion. 

Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets.