How to Stop the Downward Spiral of Depression (Before It Takes Over) | Ep. 406

Are you feeling trapped in a downward spiral of depression? Depression and anxiety can often feel like they’re pulling you deeper and deeper, leaving you overwhelmed and stuck in a cycle of hopelessness. In this episode, I’ll share strategies to stop depressive thoughts and tools to help you manage depression and anxiety using mindfulness for depression. 🌟 We’ll dive into practical steps for reducing negative self-talk, breaking the cycle of depression, and handling depressive rumination so you can reclaim your sense of hope again. 🙏

What you’ll learn:

• How to break the vicious cycle of depression 🛑
• Mindfulness techniques to manage depressive spirals 🔄
• Simple tools to reduce rumination and self-criticism 💭
• How to build a support plan to overcome depression spiral 🧠

If you found this helpful, be sure to subscribe for more episodes on managing anxiety and depression, mindfulness for negative thoughts, and building a life you love. 🌈

Depression can feel like a heavy weight pulling you deeper into a dark cycle of sadness, hopelessness, and exhaustion. If you’re feeling trapped in this downward spiral, know that you’re not alone. There are ways to break free and reclaim your sense of hope and control. In this article, I’ll walk you through how depression creates a vicious cycle, common patterns to watch for, and actionable strategies—using mindfulness and self-compassion—to help you disrupt depressive rumination and stop the spiral before it takes over.

Understanding the Vicious Cycle of Depression

One effective way to conceptualize depression is by thinking of it as a vicious cycle. This cycle of depression usually starts with a small change, like feeling more tired, less motivated, or less interested in the things that normally bring you joy. From there, it quickly spirals into avoiding activities, withdrawing from responsibilities, and losing touch with others. The less you engage, the more hopeless and ineffective you feel, which feeds into deeper depression.

But there’s another critical piece that drives this cycle: negative, self-critical thoughts. These thoughts, like ‘I’m a failure,’ ‘I’ll never get better,’ or ‘I’m a burden,’ only reinforce the sense of hopelessness, making it even harder to break free. The good news is that this cycle can be interrupted at any stage. By using specific strategies, you can intervene at multiple points to disrupt the downward pull.

Recognizing the Early Warning Signs

Understanding the early warning signs of a depressive spiral can help you catch it before it gets out of control. Some of these include:

• Feeling more lethargic or tired than usual
• Avoiding social interactions or skipping activities
• Decreased interest in hobbies or enjoyable tasks
• Increasing feelings of guilt, self-doubt, or self-criticism
• Excessive rumination on negative thoughts or scenarios

Once you recognize these signs, it’s time to take action to interrupt the cycle before it worsens.

How to Stop Depressive Thoughts Using Mindfulness

One of the hardest parts of depression is dealing with depressive rumination—those repetitive, negative thoughts that keep you stuck. Here are some specific mindfulness tools to help manage and reduce depression rumination:

1. Use the ‘Passengers on the Bus’ Metaphor

Imagine you’re the driver of a bus, and your negative, self-critical thoughts are just passengers. These passengers can be loud and demanding, shouting things like ‘You’re not good enough,’ ‘You should just give up,’ or ‘You’ll never get better.’ But remember—you’re still in control. You decide where the bus goes. Instead of trying to argue with these passengers or force them off the bus, simply acknowledge them as background noise and keep your focus on driving. This helps create distance between you and your thoughts, reducing their power over you.

How to Apply It:
When depressive thoughts show up, try saying to yourself, “Oh, that’s just one of my passengers talking again.” Acknowledge the thought, and then gently refocus on what you were doing, like making your morning coffee or going for a walk. Let them chatter in the background while you keep driving your bus.

2. Practice the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ Grounding Technique

When rumination pulls you into worrying about the past or future, grounding techniques can bring you back to the present moment. Try the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ depression grounding technique:

• 5 Things You Can See: Look around and name five things in your environment.
• 4 Things You Can Touch: Notice four things you can physically feel (the texture of your clothes, the chair you’re sitting on, etc.).
• 3 Things You Can Hear: Listen for three distinct sounds (a bird chirping, a car driving by, or the hum of your fridge).
• 2 Things You Can Smell: Identify two smells around you.
• 1 Thing You Can Taste: Notice any lingering taste in your mouth or take a sip of water.

This exercise pulls you out of your mind and grounds you in your physical surroundings.

3. Create a ‘What’s in My Control?’ Checklist

Depression often tricks us into feeling completely powerless. Combat this by creating a checklist with two columns:

• What I Can Control: List small actions, such as washing a dish, taking a walk, or sending a supportive text.
• What I Can’t Control: List things that are outside your influence, like other people’s opinions or unpredictable events.

When you feel stuck, focus on taking one small action from the ‘What I Can Control’ column. These tiny actions build momentum and help you regain a sense of agency.

Building a Support Plan

When you’re in a depressive spiral, having a pre-set support group/plan can make a huge difference. This plan might include:

1. Setting Up Regular Check-Ins

Schedule brief check-ins with a trusted friend or therapist, even if it’s just a quick text or a five-minute call. This helps maintain connection and accountability.

2. Creating a ‘Toolbox’ of Activities

Write down activities that typically lift your mood or give you a sense of accomplishment. Include things like going for a walk, gardening, listening to upbeat music, or doing something creative.

3. Establishing a Daily Routine

Outline a basic daily routine to follow even when you feel down, like morning coffee, a short journal session, or a midday break to step outside. Having a loose structure can reduce the uncertainty that often accompanies depressive spirals.

Cultivating Small Moments of Joy

Breaking free from depression isn’t about making huge leaps. Instead, it’s about intentionally cultivating small moments of joy and connection each day. Consider starting a Joy Journal, where you jot down one positive thing each day, like enjoying a good book, laughing at a funny video, or savoring a cup of tea. These small wins add up over time and help shift your mindset.

Rebuttals and How to Overcome Them

Implementing new strategies can be challenging, and it’s normal to have doubts or resistance. Here are some common rebuttals people might have with these tips and strategies, along with ways to reframe these thoughts:

“I’m too tired and overwhelmed to try these strategies.”

When you’re feeling exhausted, even small steps can seem impossible. Start by choosing the easiest action on your list—like focusing on a 30-second breathing exercise or naming one thought. Remember, even the tiniest step is a victory.

“These techniques sound simple, but they won’t change how I feel.”

These strategies aren’t designed to eliminate depression instantly. Instead, they help create small shifts over time. Think of them as planting seeds. Each practice may feel small in isolation, but they build up gradually, changing your mood and mindset little by little.

“I’ve tried similar techniques, and they didn’t work.”

It’s understandable to feel frustrated when previous attempts haven’t been successful. Try approaching these strategies with a beginner’s mindset—give yourself permission to experiment without expecting immediate results. Focus on consistency and small gains rather than aiming for perfection.

“Acknowledging my thoughts doesn’t help because they keep coming back.”

Thoughts often show up repeatedly, especially when you’re depressed. The goal isn’t to make the thoughts disappear; it’s to change your relationship with them. Each time you practice noticing and labeling a thought, you strengthen the habit of responding with compassion rather than criticism.

“I feel worse after trying to ground myself because I’m too aware of my discomfort.”

Grounding techniques might feel uncomfortable initially because they bring you into the present moment, where discomfort exists. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Allow that discomfort to be there without judgment, and notice if it starts to soften even slightly over time.

Encouragement to Keep Going

Resistance is normal when trying new strategies, especially when you’re struggling. If you find yourself stuck, try to lower the bar for what you expect of yourself. Give yourself credit for even thinking about these strategies, and celebrate small wins. Over time, even small efforts can build momentum and help you break free from the cycle.

Conclusion: One Small Step at a Time

Depression wants you to believe you’re stuck, but every small action you take is a step toward breaking the cycle. Start by recognizing the early signs, use mindfulness tools like the ‘Passengers on the Bus’ metaphor, and focus on taking one small, manageable action at a time. Over time, these small steps will add up and help you regain control over your life.

Remember: You’re not defined by your depression, and you have more strength than it would have you believe. Keep going, one small step at a time.

Important Mentioned Link: Overcoming Depression (Online Course for Depression) 

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Transcript: How to Stop the Downward Spiral of Depression Before It Takes Over

“Well, hello, hello, my friends! Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit. 

My name is Kimberley Quinlan, and I am a licensed anxiety specialist. 

You are listening to Your Anxiety Toolkit (YAT), where you learn exactly how to manage and overcome anxiety using the same science-based, compassion-focused strategies and tools I use with my 1-on-1 clients. 

Today, we’re tackling a tough but important topic—

how to stop the downward spiral of depression before it takes over.

I’ll never forget a time early in my career when I worked with a client who described depression as ‘sinking in quicksand.’ 

They felt like every negative thought and every decision to avoid something they used to enjoy just pulled them deeper into that dark, heavy feeling. 

What really struck me was the way they described hopelessness—

how they felt completely powerless to get out of the cycle. 

That stuck with me, and I know many of you can relate to that feeling.

But here’s the thing: even when it feels like you’re being pulled down, there are ways to stop the downward spiral of depression. 

Today, I’m going to walk you through specific strategies that reduce depressive rumination and self-criticism. Let’s dive in!”

“One way we can understand depression is by thinking of it as a vicious cycle.

 It’s not just one symptom or feeling—

it’s a series of events that feed off each other, keeping you trapped. 

For example, feeling sad or unmotivated can lead to avoiding responsibilities or withdrawing from activities, which then makes you feel guilty or more hopeless. 

But there’s another crucial piece of this cycle: negative, self-critical thoughts. 

Thoughts like ‘I’m a failure,’ ‘I’ll never get better,’ or ‘I’m a burden to everyone’ feed into the cycle, making you feel even more ineffective and unmotivated. 

Each behavior or thought can spiral into another, worsening your depression. 

But here’s the good news: 

we can intervene at any part of this cycle to start reversing it.

 By recognizing where we are in the cycle, we can choose specific strategies to disrupt the downward pull and regain some control.”

“Simply put, Depression often starts as a small shift—maybe it’s feeling less motivated, more tired, or less interested in the things that usually bring you joy. 

From there, we start withdrawing from activities, skipping social interactions, and avoiding responsibilities. 

The less we do, the more hopeless and ineffective we feel, which worsens the depression and deepens that spiral. 

The goal is to use the tools I’m about to share to interrupt this cycle at different points and begin to reverse it.”

Okay, lets now do a deep dive into the Practical Tools you can use to Manage the Depressive Spiral & Reduce Rumination

“When depression hits, one of the hardest things to manage is depressive rumination.

 This is when our mind gets stuck on a loop of negative thoughts like ‘I’m a failure,’ ‘Things will never get better,’ or ‘What’s the point?’ 

To tackle this, we want to use mindfulness-based tools that reduce rumination and help us get unstuck. 

Let’s go through some practical, easy-to-use tools.”

Lets first talk about The ‘Passengers on the Bus’ Metaphor

“Imagine you’re the driver of a bus, and your negative, self-critical thoughts are the passengers. 

They can be loud and demanding—shouting things like ‘You’re not good enough’ or ‘You should just quit now.’ 

Sometimes, they might even try to take over the wheel. 

But remember, you are the driver. 

You get to decide where the bus goes. 

When these thoughts show up, acknowledge them as passengers that are just along for the ride. 

Instead of fighting with them or letting them change your course, simply notice them, thank them for their input, and refocus on driving toward your destination. 

The passengers can yell, but you don’t have to listen to them or let them steer.”

Now, How might you apply this in real time?

“When depressive thoughts and rumination kick in, imagine those thoughts as passengers on your bus. 

You don’t have to force them off the bus or argue with them.

 Your only job is to keep your hands on the wheel and focus on where you’re headed. 

This metaphor helps create distance from the thoughts, showing that you don’t need to let them derail your path.”

You may also want to try to The ‘5-4-3-2-1’ Grounding Technique

“When rumination pulls you into the past or future, it’s essential to bring your attention back to the present. 

This is where the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ grounding technique comes in. 

Look around and identify:

• 5 things you can see,
• 4 things you can touch,
• 3 things you can hear,
• 2 things you can smell,
• and 1 thing you can taste.

This technique anchors you in your current environment, pulling you out of the mental loop and back into your physical surroundings.”

You may also want to create a ‘What’s in My Control?’ Checklist

“Depression often tricks us into believing we’re powerless. 

So, when you catch yourself spiraling, create a checklist with two columns: ‘What I Can Control’ and ‘What I Can’t Control.’ 

Write everything that comes to mind. 

Once you have your list, focus on taking one small action in the ‘What I Can Control’ column. 

It could be washing a dish, taking a shower, or calling a friend.

 These small actions can have a big impact on reducing that feeling of helplessness.”

Another important step is Building a Support Plan to Counteract the Spiral

“When you’re in a depressive spiral, it’s invaluable to have a pre-set support plan. This might include:

Regular Check-Ins: Schedule brief check-ins with a supportive friend or therapist. Call them right after you listen to this podcast and ask them if they have the capacity to be on your call list for times when you are struggling. 

Another crucial way to break the downward spiral of depression is to Create a ‘Toolbox’ of Activities you can do when you are struggling with depressive rumination.

Write down a long list of activities that usually bring you a sense of relief or joy, even if they feel hard to start.

These do not have to be grand. 

They could be as simple as “making a cup of tea” or “smelling a rose” or “watching a comedy show”.  

Have this list hanging somewhere so you can use it to help you reengage with activities that line up with your values and do not reinficrce depression. 

You will also greatly benefit from Setting Up a Daily Routine: 

Outline a basic daily routine, like morning coffee, 10 minutes of journaling, and going outside for at least 5 minutes each day and do your best to stick with it, no matter how depressed you feel or how deep you got into your depression.

“It is important to remember that Depression thrives on inactivity and isolation. 

So, to break uot of these depressive spirals, you’ll need to intentionally create small moments of joy, even if they seem minor. 

Another idea to break this downward spiral is to: Start a ‘Joy Journal.

Each day, write down one small thing that gave you a glimmer of pleasure. 

I recently started doing this and i cannot tell you how helpful it was. 

Maybe its a moment of sun on your face,  a hug from a pet, or a smile from a stranger. 

These moments of satisfaction (also known as glimmers) are not ‘quick fixes’ to depression, but instead, important steps toward shifting your mood. Please do not underestimate the power of tiny moments of joy!”

Now, before we wrap up, let me address the elephant in the room…or should I say the depression in the room! 

Implementing new strategies can be challenging, and it’s normal to have doubts or resistance. 

I wanted to first validate that this work is very hard, and share some common challenges my clients have had  with these tips and strategies, along with ways to reframe these chalenges:

• “I’m too tired and overwhelmed to try these strategies.”

When you’re feeling exhausted, even small steps can seem impossible. 

Start by choosing the easiest action on your list—like focusing on a 30-second breathing exercise or naming one thought. 

Remember, even the tiniest step is a victory.

• “These techniques sound simple, but they won’t change how I feel.”

These strategies aren’t designed to eliminate depression instantly.

 Instead, they help create small shifts over time. 

Think of them as planting seeds. Each practice may feel small in isolation, but they build up gradually, changing your mood and mindset little by little.

• “I’ve tried similar techniques, and they didn’t work.”

It’s understandable to feel frustrated when previous attempts haven’t been successful. 

Try approaching these strategies with a beginner’s mindset—

give yourself permission to experiment without expecting immediate results. 

Focus on consistency and small gains rather than aiming for perfection.

• “Acknowledging my thoughts doesn’t help because they keep coming back.”

Thoughts often show up repeatedly, especially when you’re depressed.

 The goal isn’t to make the thoughts disappear; it’s to change your relationship with them.

 Each time you practice noticing and labeling a thought, you strengthen the habit of responding with compassion rather than criticism.

• “I feel worse after trying mindfulness myself because I’m alreally too aware of my discomfort.”

Mindfulness might feel uncomfortable initially because it brings you into the present moment, where discomfort exists.

 Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Allow that discomfort to be there without judgment, and notice if it starts to soften even slightly over time.

Remember, You have more strength than depression would have you believe. 

Be patient, and take it one step at a time. 

And do not forget, today is a beautiful day to do hard things.