Living with the fear of ‘going crazy’ (A Common OCD Theme)
Those who suffer from anxiety disorders, such as OCD, often feel like they’re losing their mind or ‘going crazy’.
The fear of going crazy may even become the core obsession:
What if I’m losing my mind?
What if I snap and lose control?
What if I am having a mental breakdown?
What if someone finds out and I’m committed to a psychiatric ward?
Because of this, sufferers often feel like they’ve lost touch with reality, unsure about what’s real and what isn’t.
They have experienced extreme uncertainty about their thoughts and are tormented by the idea that if they were to lose control, the consequences could be tragic.
They’re so overwhelmed with their emotions that they feel like they can’t trust themselves, their thoughts, or their future… everything feels entirely out of their control.
In OCD this is a normal experience and there are strategies and skills you can use to overcome this.
In this article, we are going to explain what you can do if you feel like you’re going crazy.
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The fear of ‘going crazy’
The term ‘going crazy’ is a commonly used phrase by those who live with OCD to describe exactly what it feels like to navigate those intrusive obsessions.
What they often mean is that they feel like they are losing control of their mind and their body.
And if you resonate with this, you are not alone.
It is incredibly common to feel this way when dealing with a condition such as OCD.
For those who do not live with this mental health disorder, it’s near impossible to understand what it must be like to live in a constant state of fear, doubt, and uncertainty.
- Where thoughts appear without warning to torture you with questions, ideas, and notions that you may ordinarily find abhorrent, bizarre, or even vile. (‘What if’ intrusive thoughts are a severe source of torment for sufferers)
- Sensations are taken as a sign that danger is imminent and may feel intolerable. Sensations are so overwhelming you feel like you are in fact going crazy because the sensations are so strong.
- Gruesome and vivid images flash across your mind that appear like a horror movie, filling you with sheer panic.
Those with OCD can feel disconnected from reality and often think that experiencing these obsessions is a sign of a ‘mental breakdown’.
The fear those obsessions create has them acting and behaving as if the perceived threat were real, even when they recognize that there is no ‘real’ danger.
A symptom of OCD
With OCD latching on to any slither of doubt, it’s not unsurprising then to discover that the ‘fear of going crazy’ can become an obsession in and of itself.
OCD likes to mix things up and context switch – meaning that most sufferers experience various OCD subtypes during the lifetime of their OCD recovery – but underneath them, all remains the underlying fear of going ‘crazy’ and potentially losing control as a result.
The reason is threefold:
- OCD is egodystonic in nature. This means that those obsessions go against our values and explains why they can be so horrifying. Imagine that you love your children dearly, and a family of your own is all you ever wanted, but now you have a family, OCD evades your mind with thoughts like, “What if you don’t check on them in the night and they die in their cot?” or “What if you left your toddler at the supermarket so you don’t have to listen to them cry anymore?” The shock of these thoughts makes you feel like you’re going crazy because, from your perspective, the thoughts themselves are crazy!
- The thoughts feel real. The physical response of anxiety in our bodies coupled with these thoughts makes them feel very real. It feels like we are under immediate threat. It feels like we are in imminent danger. It feels like we do need to respond with urgency.
- The stakes feel high. For so many sufferers, they are faced with obsessions that leave them disgusted with themselves and feeling like a bad person. The thought of losing control and ‘allowing’ these thoughts to become a reality is unthinkable. Imagine that you have the suicidal intrusive thought of throwing yourself off a fifth-floor balcony onto the street below. If you were to actually do this, it would be life-ending. The consequences of not responding to those thoughts seem dire.
The truth is, there are very high chances that OCD is toying with you. It loves to do that! When you understand how OCD functions and thrives, you will learn that OCD simply has you in its grip and that the thought that you’re going crazy is simply that… a thought, not a fact.
OCD likes to present thoughts as fact and our job is to recognize that thoughts and feelings are not facts, and having them does not mean that something is wrong or that you are in danger.
With specialist OCD support, you can learn how to navigate this terrifying feeling, free yourself from its grasp and feel grounded in reality rather than feeling so out of control.
The fear of going crazy – Common obsessions
Here are some examples of thoughts commonly associated with OCD-related fears of going crazy:
“What if I’m losing my mind?”
“What if I end up in a psychiatric hospital?!”
“What if my family disowns me when they find out?”
“I can’t stop thinking these disturbing thoughts. Does that mean I’m going insane?”
“What if I’m going to snap and hurt someone I care about?”
“I’m having these weird sensations in my body. Is it a sign of a mental breakdown?”
“I had a strange impulse to do something harmful. Does that mean I’m a danger to myself or others?”
“Why can’t I control these thoughts? It feels like I’m going crazy.”
“I keep questioning my own reality. Am I living in a delusion?”
“What if my thoughts are evidence of a severe mental illness?”
“I’m experiencing intense emotions. Does that mean I’m on the verge of a breakdown?”
“I’m not sure what’s real and what isn’t. Am I losing my sanity?”
Examples within some common subtypes
There are many OCD subtypes, here are just a few examples of how the fear of going crazy appears in some of them:
“Am I actually a pedophile?”
“What if I really want to act on these thoughts?”
“What if I need to be locked up?”
“What if I’m sick and I don’t even realize it?”
“What if I really do want to stab my partner?”
“What if I’m actually a murderer?”
“What if I lose control and kill someone?”
“What if I secretly want to commit these acts?”
“What if I’m more dissatisfied with my life than I realize?”
“What if this is a sign that I’m depressed and want to die?”
“What if I’m having a mental breakdown?”
“What if I can never stop counting how many times I’ve checked the window locks?”
“What if everyone around me thinks I’m crazy!”
“What if this is a sign that I’m losing my mind?”
- Derealization/Depersonalization
“What if nothing is real?”
“Have I completely lost my grasp of reality?”
“What if I don’t know what’s real anymore?”
“What if I can’t handle the guilt and finally snap?”
“What if my past behavior is a sign that I’ve lost control?”
“What if I’m a terrible person who should be punished?”
“Why can’t I figure out what is real and what is a memory?”
“What if this is a sign that I am truly psychotic?
Common compulsions
To complete the OCD cycle, sufferers then engage in physical or mental compulsions to alleviate the uncertainty and anxiety around the fear that they may be going crazy.
Some common compulsions may include:
Reassurance-seeking: Asking friends or family whether their behavior seems odd, or whether they have similar thoughts themselves.
Avoidance: Staying away from people, places, or things that trigger those obsessions. This greatly limits a sufferer’s experiences of life and they can often find themselves avoiding the things in life that would otherwise bring them joy. People may also avoid people who have a mental illness in case they ‘catch’ said illness (emotional contamination OCD).
Rumination: A common and often difficult-to-identify compulsive behavior is rumination. A sufferer may find themselves trying to figure out for certain whether or not they are in fact ‘going crazy’ by replaying events in their mind, searching for evidence to prove or disprove their thoughts, and spiraling into an endless pit of ‘what if’ thoughts.
Checking: Someone with the fear of ‘going crazy’ may find themselves lost in a swell of research, googling, and fact-checking to try and figure out what determines whether someone is ‘going crazy’ to see if they match the description. They also check to see whether they are ‘going crazy’ internally (mentally).
How understanding OCD helps you feel more in control
Understanding OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) can indeed help individuals feel more in control of their thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being.
When you know how OCD functions and thrives, you understand that you have more control than you originally imagined.
Here are several ways in which understanding OCD can contribute to a sense of control:
1. Knowledge about OCD: Learning about the nature of OCD, its causes, and common symptoms provides individuals with a framework for understanding their experiences. This knowledge helps them realize that their intrusive thoughts, urges, or rituals are part of a recognized psychological condition rather than personal flaws or weaknesses. This understanding reduces self-blame and promotes self-compassion, fostering a sense of control over their emotions.
2. Recognizing patterns and triggers: Understanding OCD allows individuals to identify their own patterns and triggers. They can start recognizing specific situations, thoughts, or emotions that tend to trigger their OCD symptoms. By becoming aware of these triggers, they can take proactive steps to manage them successfully, thereby gaining a greater sense of control over their responses.
3. Identifying obsessions and compulsions: People with OCD often have recurrent obsessions (intrusive, unwanted thoughts or fears) and engage in compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing perceived harm). By understanding the different types of obsessions and compulsions associated with OCD, individuals can identify and label their own symptoms accurately. This recognition helps them distinguish between irrational thoughts and genuine concerns, enabling them to respond more effectively and regain control over their actions.
4. Treatment options: Learning about the available treatment options for OCD can empower individuals to take proactive steps toward managing their condition. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and medication are commonly used to treat OCD. By understanding these treatment approaches, individuals can seek professional help, actively engage in therapy, and make informed decisions about their treatment plans. This active involvement in the recovery process fosters a sense of control over their own mental health.
5. Developing coping strategies: Understanding OCD can provide individuals with a range of coping strategies to manage their symptoms. These strategies may include mindfulness techniques, self-compassion practices, value-based behaviors, opposite-action, awareness training, and a willingness to be uncertain. By practicing these techniques, individuals can learn to change the way they respond to their intrusive thoughts, reduce their engagement in compulsions, and gain mastery over their anxiety.
6. Support network: Creating a compassionate support network can play a crucial role in providing encouragement, assistance, and accountability in managing OCD symptoms. Sharing knowledge about OCD with others can foster understanding, empathy, and support. In addition, understanding OCD can help individuals communicate their experiences more effectively to their friends, family, and support network.
Best advice for managing the fear of ‘going crazy’
When clients come to work with us, one of the first things we do is to educate them on what their thoughts are and how they work so that they can begin separating themselves from their thoughts.
OCD recovery often involves recognizing that our thoughts are not facts and our feelings are not evidence of danger.
Giving less validity and importance will help alleviate the extreme levels of anxiety experienced in response to those thoughts, and change your relationship with them so they no longer govern your decisions and behaviors.
- Show yourself self-compassion
Self-criticism and self-punishment are common behaviors in OCD. However, the key to recovery lies in self-compassion.
You did not ask for this condition. And you do not deserve to be criticized or punished for those thoughts you have.
OCD cannot thrive in kindness. It needs fear to thrive.
Every act of self-punishment or criticism weakens our ability to fight back! Self-compassion gives us the strength to carry on, even in the tough moments.
- Educate yourself
The more you know and understand OCD, the better equipped you are to navigate.
When clients come to us, the first thing we do is educate them and arm them with the knowledge they need to effectively approach treatment and move through the recovery process.
- Accept that this is another symptom of OCD
You may be tempted to ask, “ But what if I really am going crazy?”
This is another way your brain is searching for certainty and can become a compulsion in and of itself. With all OCD, accepting uncertainty is the key to escaping its grip and regaining power and control of your mind and behaviors.
- Seek support
If you have any concerns as to whether or not you are living with OCD – or genuinely believe that you’re going crazy and potentially have another mental health disorder – please seek support from a qualified mental health professional. They will deliver a correct diagnosis and ensure you receive appropriate treatment for your specific condition.
- Give yourself a fighting chance
Try to engage in everyday practices that promote a healthy life to give yourself the best chance of fighting this illness!
Consult with your doctor about the benefits of eating a healthy and nutritious diet and engaging in light exercise when possible. You may also benefit from creating a nighttime routine to ensure a good night’s sleep.
The more positive energy we have available to us, the better equipped we are to face those OCD challenges every day.
Why do my intrusive thoughts feel so real?
Intrusive thoughts feel so real because when they are accompanied by uncertainty and anxiety, the dump of hormones causes a physiological response.
The intrusive thought plus the physiological response sends feedback to the brain that we are under immediate threat and we must act fast!
It feels real because it is a very real response that is happening in the body, in real time.
This is why it is so common for people with OCD to feel like they’re losing their minds…
When it feels so real it may be difficult to recognize that there is no real threat or danger which is why they react as if there is.
Treatment for OCD and the fear of ‘going crazy’
The most effective treatment for managing OCD is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and ERP (exposure and response prevention therapy).
This proven behavioral methodology teaches you how to tolerate the uncertainty and anxiety following those intrusive thoughts, without needing to engage in compulsions.
When you begin treatment with a qualified specialist, they will start by providing education and knowledge about the different components of OCD so that you feel equipped to engage in the treatment.
ERP is often complemented by other modalities such as ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and Mindfulness. You will be given these tools to help support you as you move through the treatment plan.
You will then work together to create a hierarchy of exposures that you can begin working through. These exposures will be done at your own pace and you will never be asked to do anything that you don’t feel achievable.
Through ERP, you will learn healthy ways to cope with those intrusive thoughts and the anxiety that accompanies them. Over time, the anxiety decreases and those intrusive thoughts become far less problematic.
Over time, your newfound knowledge, understanding, and capacity to manage the anxiety will allow you to go back to living a life that is value-based, where you are in charge of your decisions and behaviors, not OCD.
Private 1:1 Therapy
Starting OCD treatment can seem daunting.
When our clients come to us, there’s often a high degree of hesitation and skepticism. After all, facing your fears probably doesn’t seem like a lot of fun, so how do you know if it’s worth it?
Well, our team of highly qualified mental health professionals is trained to the highest standards and offers a warm and compassionate approach to therapy.
Clients come to us afraid and doubtful.
They know they can’t carry on living this way but they just aren’t sure that recovery is possible for them. We quickly show them that it is!
When you come to us, you’ll be met with an elite team of licensed OCD specialists who are invested in your recovery.
You’ll be met without judgment and you won’t be asked to do anything that you don’t feel you can manage.
We’re going to work on this together.
A life where intrusive thoughts don’t rule every waking hour of our day is not as far away as you might think.
If you’re interested to see how we can support you and you’re based in California or Arizona, please submit an initial intake form here.
We would be honored to assist your OCD recovery.
Online OCD program
If private therapy isn’t currently an option for you, OCD specialist Kimberley Quinlan has created an affordable online program called ERP SCHOOL that is accessible to everyone.
You will learn the exact tools and techniques given to those in a private therapy setting, and you will understand how to apply them to your specific intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
By the end of the program, you will have the knowledge and understanding to stop letting your intrusive thoughts ruin your life and resist the urge to do compulsions that keep you trapped in the OCD Cycle.
Join ERP SCHOOL here.
