False Memory OCD: How do I know what’s real?

False Memory OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is a subtype of OCD that involves recurrent, persistent, and intrusive thoughts or doubts about past events or experiences. 

These thoughts or doubts are often accompanied by strong feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety about the experience, even when the person with OCD cannot be sure that the thoughts are rational or true.

In False Memory OCD, a person may obsess over a memory or a thought that they believe is a true event from their past, but in reality, the memory is false or distorted. 

The individual may worry that they have done something wrong or harmful, even though they have no certainty that the event or action they fear even occurred.

Those with false memory OCD live in a state of perpetual fear over these memories because they are often trying to find the answer to an unanswerable question. The event has come and gone, and although they could seek reassurance from people involved, it doesn’t offer a great deal of anxiety relief, as the memories feel so real.

When those memories feel so real, it proves difficult to accept that they may not be factually correct.

This is what terrorizes those suffering from this OCD presentation.

It can sometimes feel as though this type of OCD is impossible to overcome for those exact reasons, but false memories within OCD can be treated using the same effective strategies that would be used for any other subtype, and they have been proven to be highly effective.

What is False Memory OCD?

Everyone doubts the clarity of their memories from time to time, and it’s incredibly normal to worry about the accuracy of those memories.

But for the OCD sufferer, that lack of certainty surrounding the accuracy of these memories causes debilitating levels of anxiety and doubt. Those fears (obsessions) infringe on day-to-day life and can feel like all they can think about.

A concern with a false memory – a memory we cannot be sure occurred, or one we believe occurred even though we have no proof – becomes the core obsession within false memory OCD.

The OCD Cycle

The two core components of OCD are obsessions and compulsions.

In false memory OCD, the sufferer will experience unwanted and intrusive thoughts, images, feelings, sensations, or urges, known as obsessions.

These obsessions are relentless and often disturbing in nature, causing high levels of uncertainty and anxiety. In the context of this subtype, the person with false memory OCD experiences obsessions related to the memory of a past event or experience.

The doubt experienced surrounding those memories is so severe, that the person then engages in physical and mental compulsions (repetitive, ritualistic behaviors) in an attempt to alleviate those uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.

While those compulsive behaviors offer temporary relief, they actually keep the OCD cycle in motion and strengthen its hold on us.

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Types of false memories

False memories in OCD can take many forms and can vary from person to person. Some common types of false memories in OCD include:

1. Harm OCD: People with harm OCD may have intrusive thoughts or false memories about causing harm to others, even though they have no evidence to support these thoughts. For example, they may worry that they have hit someone with their car, because they’ve had an intrusive thought that felt like the memory of the event.

2. Sexual OCD: People with sexual OCD may have intrusive thoughts or false memories about engaging in sexual acts that go against their values or morals. For example, they may worry that they have molested a child, because they have had an intrusive thought that felt so real that they believe it to be a memory.

3. Relationship OCD: People with relationship OCD may have intrusive thoughts or false memories about their romantic partner or their relationship. For example, they may worry that they have cheated on their partner, because they’ve had an intrusive thought about cheating but cannot figure out whether it was a false memory or real event.

4. Contamination OCD: People with contamination OCD may have intrusive thoughts or false memories about being contaminated or exposed to germs or toxins. For example, they may worry that they have touched a contaminated surface, because they experience intrusive thoughts about potentially doing so and cannot distinguish between this and a real event.

It’s important to remember that these thoughts and memories are a symptom of OCD and do not reflect the person’s true intentions or character. 

People with OCD often feel intense guilt, shame, and anxiety about their false memories and may struggle to share them with others. This is what can make this disorder so incredibly isolating; the fear of sharing these thoughts and risking judgment can feel petrifying.

When our clients come to us, they initially have the same hesitation and skepticism, but they soon come to realize that they are in a safe space and are in the safe hands of OCD specialists who really understand.

These clinicians understand how convincing OCD can be and will be able to offer strategies to navigate their convincing nature.

This is why it’s so important to speak to qualified mental health professionals, they will welcome you without judgment.

Why do false memories feel so real?

False memories in OCD can feel incredibly real and vivid to the person experiencing them. 

This is because the brain processes memories in a complex and dynamic way, and it is possible for false memories to be created and stored in the same way as real memories.

For example, imagine a person with OCD has a false memory of causing harm to someone while driving. They may have experienced a moment of distraction while driving, such as looking at their phone or adjusting the radio, and then later have a vivid thought or image of hitting someone with their car. 

This thought or image can then become a false memory, stored in their brain as if it were a real event.

In addition to the brain’s complex memory processes, OCD also amplifies the significance and emotional intensity of intrusive thoughts and false memories. 

This means that the person with OCD may experience intense negative feelings about the false memory, making it feel even more real and convincing. The misconception lies in the belief that if they must feel this way for a reason and take those feelings as a sign that the memory must be true.

False Memory Symptoms

OCD symptoms can be separated into two groups: obsessions (the relentless fears we face) and compulsions (the repetitive behaviors done to alleviate the uncertainty and anxiety of those obsessions).

False Memory obsessions

Here are some examples of false memory OCD obsessions:

• Fear of having committed a crime or hurt someone in the past, even if there is no evidence to support this. Someone might think, “Did I cause that person harm?” or “Did I really commit that crime?”

• Intrusive thoughts or images of engaging in sexual acts with family members or children, even if the person has never acted on these thoughts and finds them repulsive. Someone might think, “Did I touch them inappropriately?” or “ Did I feel aroused by them?”

• Doubts about whether they have said or done something offensive or inappropriate, even if others reassure them that they have not. “Did I say something to hurt their feelings?” or “I’m sure they seemed upset”

• Memories of doing something illegal such as leaving the restaurant without paying the bill, or driving under the influence, or causing someone physical harm.

• Fear of being responsible for a past tragedy or disaster, even if there is no logical reason to believe this. For example, wondering if they hit someone while driving and forgot about it. 

• Intrusive thoughts and false memories of cheating on a partner, even though there may be no evidence to prove this. The false memories feel so real that the sufferer cannot identify whether anything actually happened or not.

False Memory compulsions

Here are some examples of false memory OCD compulsions.

• Repeatedly asking others for reassurance that they did not do something wrong or hurt someone in the past.

• Seeking constant validation that their memories are accurate or that they did not do something to harm someone else.

• Engaging in mental compulsions such as reviewing memories, analyzing past events, or checking internal feelings to see if they align with their perceived “true” self.

• Avoiding people, places, or situations that trigger memories or thoughts associated with the false memory.

• Repeatedly confessing to others or confessing to authorities, even when there is no evidence to support the false memory.

How are false memories created?

False memories can be created in a variety of ways, and the mechanisms behind their formation are complex and not yet fully understood. 

However, research has shed some light on the factors that can contribute to the creation of false memories.

Misinformation

One of the main factors is suggestion or misinformation. 

Studies have shown that people can be led to believe in false events or memories if they are exposed to suggestive information or cues. For example, researchers have successfully implanted false memories of being lost in a shopping mall as a child or of witnessing a crime that never occurred in study participants. These false memories were created through the use of suggestive questioning, repeated exposure to misinformation, or other manipulations of memory.

Imagination Inflation

Another factor that can contribute to the creation of false memories is imagination inflation. 

This occurs when people are asked to imagine a fictional event or scenario, and then later mistake their imagined experience for real memory. This process can be particularly powerful when the imagined event is emotionally arousing or personally relevant to the individual.

Source Monitoring Errors

Finally, false memories can also be created through the process of source monitoring errors. 

This occurs when people have difficulty distinguishing between the source of their memories or thoughts, leading them to attribute a false memory to a real event or vice versa.

Overall, while the exact mechanisms behind the creation of false memories are still being explored, research has shown that factors such as suggestion, imagination inflation, and source monitoring errors can contribute to their formation.

What should you do if you have False Memory OCD?

False memory OCD can be difficult to manage on your own, but there are steps you can take to help alleviate your symptoms. 

Here are some strategies that may be helpful:

1. Seek professional help: A mental health professional with experience in treating OCD can work with you to develop a personalized treatment plan. This may include a combination of therapy and medication.

2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help you stay present and reduce your anxiety. When you notice a false memory or intrusive thought, try to acknowledge it without judgment and let it pass.

3. Check for thought errors: Oftentimes people with false memory OCD engage in catastrophic thinking, black-and-white thinking, and magical thinking. Identifying these errors in thinking will help you notice when you are being tricked by OCD.

4. Limit reassurance seeking: Seeking reassurance from others or checking your memories repeatedly can reinforce your false beliefs and make your OCD worse. Try to limit these behaviors as much as possible.

5. Take care of yourself: Engage in self-care activities that help you reduce stress and promote relaxation, such as exercise, yoga, or spending time in nature.

6. Educate your family in OCD: It can be extremely helpful to educate your family in OCD so they have the knowledge and understanding to support you in the best way possible without enabling compulsive behaviors such as reassurance seeking, for example.

Treatment for False Memory OCD

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) along with Exposure Response Prevention Therapy (ERP) has been proven to be incredibly effective in aiding OCD recovery.

These two methodologies, combined with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness, see our clients take their life back from OCD and no longer live in perpetual fear of those false memories.

The goal of treatment is to live your life just as you would if the fear or uncertainty were not present.

The goal is not to eliminate intrusive thoughts, as this is impossible.

We want to use a tailored treatment plan to change your relationship and response to your obsessions, and we do that through a proven process that will challenge you to face your fears in a way that feels achievable to you so that your brain can learn that you are capable of managing the uncertainty and anxiety without the use of compulsive behaviors.

Together with your therapist, you will create a hierarchy of exposures for you to work towards whereby you will be supported as you place yourself in triggering situations while resisting the urge to do compulsions.

Your therapist will be with you every step of the way and you will never be asked to do something that you don’t feel capable of handling, or that you simply do not want to do.

For example, with false memory OCD, someone may fear they cheated on their partner. 

A therapist might ask them to engage in loving their partner and engage as they normally would if they had not had these obsessions while resisting the urge to engage in compulsive behaviors.

The idea is to not let a past event which may or may not have happened as we imagined, to dictate how we live our life moving forward.

We must accept and acknowledge that we cannot gain certainty about this past event and make decisions in the present based on our values, rather than fears.

People with false memory also engage with depression as a compulsion. Some people experience false memory OCD that is so engaging and convincing that they start living as if they have done the act, and punish themselves to the point where they engage in depressive behaviors. The depression becomes as strong as the OCD.

1:1 Therapy

If you feel hesitant about reaching out to see if one of our highly qualified mental health professionals can support you, we understand.

Clients often come to us wondering if they are ready to begin recovery.

After all, we are asking you to do the hard thing and face those fears.  But the reality is this, none of our clients ever regret starting. They only regret that they didn’t start sooner.

The longer you engage in those compulsive behaviors, the stronger OCD’s grip becomes. So where recovery is concerned, today is the best day to begin!

Every member of our team is a licensed professional trained to the highest standard, you are in the safest of hands! You will be met with compassion and without judgment. We’ve met with hundreds of clients just like you who all thought recovery wasn’t possible, and we have been very happy to prove them wrong.

If you’re based in California or Arizona and are in need of OCD support, please submit an initial intake form here to see if we are a good fit.

Self-paced Online program

Is private therapy not an option for you right now?

Don’t worry, we’ve got you.

ERP SCHOOL is a self-paced online program designed by top OCD specialist, Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT. You will be given the exact tools and techniques offered to our private clients to help them through their recovery journey.

You will learn how to apply these tools to your specific obsessions and compulsions so you can stop letting fear of past events rob you of your present and future happiness.

You can learn how to stop letting intrusive thoughts ruin your life and resist the urge to do compulsions like many students have done already!

Join ERP SCHOOL here.

Support groups

If you are seeking support, IOCDF has an incredible directory of support groups.

You can use this to search for like-minded people in your area, who understand your struggles and offer support (without indulging in reassurance-seeking behaviors!).

False Memory OCD FAQ’s

Are false memories normal?

False memories are actually quite common, and most people experience them at some point in their lives. It’s normal for our memories to be fallible, and we often rely on our perception and interpretation of events, rather than on objective facts, to construct our memories.

For example, have you ever thought you remembered something from your childhood, only to have a family member or friend tell you that it didn’t happen that way? 

Or have you ever been convinced that you remembered a conversation with someone, only to realize later that you had imagined it? 

These are examples of false memories that many people experience.

In most cases, false memories are harmless and do not significantly impact our daily lives. However, in some cases, they can cause distress or interfere with our ability to function, as is the case with false memory OCD. 

In these cases, it’s important to seek professional help to learn how to manage these intrusive thoughts and alleviate the associated anxiety.

Do false memories make you a bad person?

No, false memories do not make you a bad person. 

In the case of false memory OCD, individuals may experience intrusive thoughts or images that they find distressing and inconsistent with their values and beliefs. 

These thoughts do not reflect the individual’s true character or intentions, and they are not a reflection of who they are as a person.

Is it False Memory OCD or denial?

It can be challenging to distinguish between false memory OCD and denial, as both can involve feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and doubt. 

However, there are some key differences between the two.

False memory OCD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that involves intrusive thoughts or images of past events that are inconsistent with a person’s values or beliefs. 

These thoughts are often accompanied by intense anxiety or distress, and the person may engage in compulsive behaviors to try to alleviate their anxiety.

Denial, on the other hand, is a defense mechanism that involves refusing to acknowledge or accept a painful or threatening reality. It can be a natural and sometimes necessary coping mechanism in response to trauma or difficult experiences.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help differentiate between false memory OCD and denial:

• Are the thoughts or memories intrusive and unwanted, or are they something you are actively choosing to ignore or deny?

• Do the thoughts or memories cause intense anxiety or distress, or do they feel more like a coping mechanism to avoid difficult emotions?

• Do you engage in compulsive behaviors to alleviate your anxiety, or do you simply avoid thinking about the situation altogether?

• Are the thoughts or memories consistent with your values and beliefs, or do they feel inconsistent and distressing?

If you are unsure whether you are experiencing false memory OCD or denial, it’s important to seek professional help from a mental health professional with experience in treating OCD and related disorders. 

They can help you understand your symptoms and develop a personalized treatment plan to manage them.