Ep. 68: How to do HARD THINGS!
How To Do HARD THINGS…It’s A Beautiful Day For It!!
Welcome back to another Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast episode! This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about How to do Hard Things.
I know I say “Its a beautiful day to do hard things” all the time, and sometimes people message me or email and ask me, “How do I do hard things?” Even friends and loved ones might call to ask, “Can you teach me how to do hard things?” These hard things might be doing Exposure & Response Prevention (doing something that scares you), taking a test, going to a doctor visit, traveling long distances, feeling intense feelings such as sadness or grief, delivering a speech, experiencing pain or any other event that scares the pants off you. 🙂
A little note on this before we move on; Doing a Hard Thing is doing the thing that scares YOU, even if it doesn’t scare others. If it is hard for you, it is hard. Try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to what is hard for you vs. others.
After talking with a dear, loved one this week about an upcoming “hard thing” they were preparing to do, I decided to write them a letter. My hope was they could read it as they prepared to stare their hard thing in the face (take that hard thing!). After sending it, I wondered if maybe you needed a similar letter.
So, here we go. Here is the letter I sent my friend. I hope you find it helpful in understanding how to do hard things.
“Hi my love,
Here are the most important things to remember when dealing with fear, dread, and panic.
Just because your brain is telling you there is “danger,” doesn’t make it true or real or correct. Our brain misfires (and make mistakes) ALL the time and it is our job to help direct it back to more reasonable reactions. If we react with resistance, we keep training it to misfire.
Our job is to just allow the anxiety, without reacting to it. We gently allow it to be present and allow it to rise and fall on its own. With this practice, we not only re-train our brain, but we learn that beyond this moment of discomfort is freedom. Just a few minutes beyond this discomfort is our opportunity to do whatever the fuck we want with our lives. Fear doesn’t get to make our decisions. Our values and hopes and dreams do.
You are strong, but you don’t have to be stronger than fear. It’s not a fight, so don’t fight it. Slow everything down and gently say to it, “its ok, fear. I am just going to allow you to be here while I do the thing I love to do. You don’t get to control me.
Love,
Kimberley”
Also, CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists. The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some incredible scientists and clinicians in the OCD field, with you the therapist as the audience. Kimberley is honored to be selected to be one of the panelists for this exciting event. Registration will include 6 topics curated for your continued development as an OCD therapist, where you can ask questions and network with other therapists in the private FB group community. Click here to join.
Lastly, OCD Awareness Week is coming up: October 7-13! OCD SoCal will celebration OCD Awareness Week on October 7 from 1:00 pm-5:00 pm in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego. Go to IOCDF.org or search your local area for events.
