6 Schedule Habits That Are Secretly Making Your Anxiety Worse | Ep. 436
Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? In this episode, anxiety specialist Kimberley Quinlan reveals six sneaky schedule habits that may be fueling your anxiety—and exactly how to shift toward calm, clarity, and confidence in your daily routine.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why overscheduling and under-scheduling can both spike your anxiety—and how to find the balance
- The powerful mindset shift that begins with putting pleasure and rest at the top of your calendar
- How treating every task like it’s life-or-death might be burning you out (and what to do instead)
- The sneaky way busy work keeps you stuck—and how to finally tackle what really matters
- Simple scripts to say “no” without guilt so you can protect your time and your mental health
- A fresh perspective on self-worth that isn’t tied to productivity or checked-off boxes
6 Scheduling Habits That Are Increasing Your Anxiety (And What To Do Instead)
If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly behind, anxious about your to-do list, or overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things you need to get done — this article is for you. Based on an insightful episode of the Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast hosted by Kimberley Quinlan, we’re unpacking six common scheduling habits that may be feeding your anxiety, plus strategies to help you feel calmer, more empowered, and in control.
Why Is Schedule Anxiety So Common?
We live in a culture that glorifies busyness and productivity. From running a household to excelling at work, many of us feel like we must do it all — and do it perfectly. Add in the pressure to also maintain good mental health, and it’s no wonder anxiety around time and scheduling is rampant.
People with anxiety are often high performers: intelligent, driven, and committed. But when society rewards overwork, these strengths can backfire and lead to burnout.
Habit #1: Overscheduling or Underscheduling
The Problem: Overscheduling means planning every minute of your day, which leads to stress when things inevitably don’t go as planned. Underscheduling, or avoiding scheduling altogether, often creates anxiety due to lack of structure and constant uncertainty.
What To Do Instead: Find a balanced approach to scheduling for anxiety management. Allow space in your schedule for the unexpected and give yourself the flexibility to adjust without shame or panic.
Habit #2: Not Scheduling Pleasure and Rest
The Problem: Many time-management systems focus only on productivity. But neglecting rest and enjoyment can lead to burnout, depression, and increased anxiety.
What To Do Instead: Schedule pleasure first. Prioritize sleep, hobbies, and fun before filling in your work tasks. Not only does this protect your mental health, but it also makes your schedule more sustainable.
“One of the biggest antidotes to anxiety is having fun.” – Kimberley Quinlan
Habit #3: Treating Every Task as Urgent
The Problem: When everything on your list feels like a life-or-death priority, your nervous system stays in a state of fight or flight. This creates tension, panic, and exhaustion.
What To Do Instead: Practice mindful task evaluation. Not every task is equally important. Slow down, breathe, and remember: brushing your teeth doesn’t need the same urgency as meeting a critical deadline.
Habit #4: Avoiding Hard Tasks with Busy Work
The Problem: We often procrastinate on anxiety-provoking tasks by filling our time with lower-stakes busy work. It may feel productive, but it keeps you stuck.
What To Do Instead: Use a priority system. Categorize tasks into must-do, should-do, and could-do items. Focus on the high-impact tasks first — even if they’re uncomfortable. Long-term, it reduces anxiety and builds confidence.
Habit #5: Saying Yes Too Often
The Problem: People-pleasing and fear of letting others down often lead us to say yes when we mean no, adding more to our plates than we can realistically handle.
What To Do Instead: Learn to say no kindly and clearly. Create a decision-making flowchart or ask yourself, “Am I saying yes to them but no to myself?” Remember, your mental health and needs matter too.
Habit #6: Measuring Your Worth by Productivity
The Problem: Tying your self-worth to how much you get done is a fast track to burnout and shame. It also fuels perfectionism and makes rest feel like a reward you have to earn.
What To Do Instead: Recognize that your value is not based on your productivity. You are worthy whether or not you completed every task today. Practice self-compassion and affirm your worth daily — especially on slower days.
Bonus: Are You Using Your Schedule as a Compulsion?
People with anxiety and OCD may unknowingly use scheduling as a way to reduce uncertainty. Becoming overly reliant on planning or avoiding schedules altogether can be a form of compulsion or avoidance.
Balance is key. Create a flexible structure that allows for both accountability and kindness. Aim for progress, not perfection.
Try This: The Healthy Mind Platter
Kimberley recommends looking up the Healthy Mind Platter, a visual framework created by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. David Rock. It outlines seven essential daily experiences that support optimal mental health:
- Sleep time
- Physical time
- Downtime
- Playtime
- Time in (e.g., mindfulness, journaling)
- Focus time
- Connecting time
Start by choosing one area to prioritize this week and build gradually from there.
Your Takeaway
Managing anxiety around time and scheduling isn’t about perfect productivity — it’s about crafting a life that supports your mental health. Whether that means scheduling rest, saying no, or focusing on what truly matters, these skills can help you feel more grounded and less overwhelmed.
For more support, check out Kimberley’s full course on time management for mental health at https://www.cbtschool.com/timemanagement.
You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to rest. And yes — you are enough.
The podcast is made possible by NOCD. NOCD offers effective, convenient therapy available in the US and outside the US. To find out more about NOCD, their therapy plans and if they currently take your insurance head over to https://learn.nocd.com/youranxietytoolkit
Transcription: 6 Schedule Habits That Are Secretly Making Your Anxiety Worse
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by how much you have to get done, you’re constantly playing catch up, and you’re always anxious about your list of to-dos. This is going to be an episode that will be particularly helpful for you. Hello, my name is Kimberly Quinlan. I’m an anxiety specialist. I am the host of your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, and today we are going to do a deep dive into how you can manage your anxiety, about time, about your schedule, about your daily habits, and hopefully you will leave here with some very tactical, strategic skills so that you can actually work to reduce your anxiety and get more done.
Instead of stressing about your schedule and what you do have to get done and how you’re constantly feeling behind. So I’m so excited that you’re here and this is something I have had to work on myself. So let’s do this together. So let’s first talk about why time and schedule anxiety is so common. We right now in this era, we have so much on our plate.
We are constantly being overwhelmed with to-do lists. Me, I cannot get over just how much we’re expected to get done in one day. Call the gardener, get the kids, make the calls to the pharmacy, pay the bills. Get food. We’re supposed to eat healthy, we’re supposed to get exercise. We’re supposed to do well in our job.
We’re supposed to have learned a language or you know, expanded our horizons and take care of family. It is so much and if you feel overwhelmed and anxious about that, you are not alone. I am so with you. We have a constant pressure to do everything. Not only just get it done, but to do it perfectly. You might even feel a pressure to manage your mental health alongside of this, which can make it particularly even more difficult because again, there’s only a certain amount of time in each day.
So my hope today is we’re going to go through, we’re gonna identify six schedule habits that are making. Your anxiety worse. Hopefully. Again, you’re gonna leave here with some strategic skills so that you can go on to live a more confident at ease life in your day to day. So let’s also take a look at some other reasons why time and schedule anxiety are so common.
Number one is we often are either overscheduled or under scheduled, and I’m gonna talk about that at length here in a second. We also technically, and we tend to be, when you have anxiety, we tend to be high performers. The people I know with anxiety, my clients with anxiety, they tend to. Be the most intelligent people I know.
They are the most skilled and talented people I know. They tend to want things to go really well. They value doing well, showing up, putting in their best effort while also having to manage the anxiety that they experience. And that in and of itself can create a ton of anxiety about schedules and about time management.
In addition to that, our culture reinforces this stuff. Culture praises our society, praises those who are productive, who get a lot done. I have a lot on my plate. I run two different businesses. I have children. I’m a therapist. I. I’ve, I do notice that a lot of people praise you for being overproductive, but it’s actually not that healthy, healthy for your mental health.
In fact, I would be as brave as to say it’s unhealthy to be so productive all the time. The pressure from society can make this very, very difficult. And so let’s get into those six specific schedule habits. That are making your anxiety worse, and so we can get to the bottom of it. Okay, so let’s start with number one.
The biggest schedule habit that I see people make that make their anxiety worse is that they’re either overscheduling. Or under scheduling. This is so important to first look at before we get to the other ones. And what I mean by this is some of my clients report that they are meticulous about the schedule, that they feel like this internal pressure that they have to start things on time.
They cannot be late under any conditions they’ve crammed in. Every little thing they have to do, they’ve scheduled their daily activities down to the minute, and while I am a huge scheduler, I love to schedule that model will only make anxiety happen because the truth of the matter is. Life does not care about the schedule.
Things happen. Things don’t go as beautifully as we would want them to. And when you’ve overscheduled, you’re gonna be incredibly anxious anytime things fall behind. Now, on the other end of the spectrum are those who completely under schedule, they’re avoidant of schedule. They don’t want to have to put things on a schedule because it creates anxiety for them and therefore they.
Avoid it. They procrastinate. They don’t have a list. They don’t manage their time, their to-do list at all. And while it may reduce some of their anxiety, it also contributes to anxiety as well because again, people with anxiety tend to be highly intelligent folks. And when you’re highly intelligent, you do need some structure.
And I am going to say here, a lot of people who avoid scheduling because of that end up having. More anxiety in the long term, so it’s something we really have to look at here. Now, these two spectrums are going to create a lot of discomfort, and we’re going to try to meet you in the middle somewhere, and we’ll talk about that later on in the episode when we get to some strategies that might be really, really helpful for you.
Okay, so let’s talk about the second schedule habit that people engage in that make anxiety worse. And this one is so, so important and it is that you are not scheduling time or pleasure. And rest. When I researched time management, I did so much research on how to manage my time better, how to have less anxiety, how to get a system that works.
One of the things that very few people talked about was the importance of scheduling pleasure first. Most of them. In our very, you know, corporate America environment, you know, talked about, you’ve gotta get going, you’ve gotta get the first thing done. You’ve gotta get the hardest thing done first. And I agree with all of that.
But if you have not first scheduled sleep and some hobby, pleasure, fun time, you are going to. Burnout, you’re going to be unhappy. You’re more prone to be depressed. You’re prone more prone to be anxious. And so when I created the time management for Optimum Mental Health Course, which is a course we have over@cbtschool.com.
I talked about the importance of first scheduling pleasure of all of my courses that I have@cbtschool.com. Most frequent comment is that this concept changed their life. Of all the courses, this one thing was the most important. I am blown away by how many people never prioritize pleasure, never prioritize their hobbies.
Again, we have such a long list and when we have a mental health issue, we just assumed that pleasure should be the first thing to go, and that is completely not the case. We must. Schedule pleasure first, and that is the core first step. When we talk about time management, it is so, so important. When we don’t do that again, I’m gonna stress to you, I know I’ve said this once, but we tend to be more depressed, we tend to be more anxious, and the whole joy of life goes out the window.
I will say often to my clients and students that one of the biggest antidotes to anxiety is. Having fun, anxiety wants us to be serious all the time and take things so seriously and make everything important and put all this pressure on you. And sometimes the best thing you can do is ask yourself, what would I do if anxiety wasn’t here?
And often the answer is, I would watch some tv. I would see my friends, I would go out for lunch, I would meet somebody at the park. I would take a walk, I would sleep and rest. I would have downtime where I actually allowed that rest to happen. So this is so, so, so important. The third thing that we do in our schedule that cause anxiety is we treat all tasks as if they’re equally important and that they’re very, very serious.
Now, this one was the hardest for me when I had to work through this. There was a period of time when I was working so hard, I had no pleasure in my life and. Every task I did from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to sleep felt like it was so urgent and so important, and the grip was so, so tight.
Now, what was interesting is I identified that I was engaging in some workaholic behaviors, and I attended our Workaholics Anonymous meeting and they brought up this idea of adrenalizing and this. Concept blew my mind. Now, adrenalizing is an act where you are generating a lot of energy, but you’re doing it in sort of a frantic way.
You’re like, everything is very important, urgent, and you have no patience at all and you have to get it done. Fast and it should happen now, and you’re almost a little bit aggressive and angry and you’re like banging on this typewriter, on the keyboard, and you’re sort of moving very, very fast. And that act of adrenalizing, that act of moving fast and bang, bang, bang, getting through the schedule without any mindfulness.
Literally is creating adrenaline in your body. And when you have adrenaline in your body, your brain and your body is gonna assume there’s danger, and it’s going to start to create a nervous system of anxiety and panic and exhaustion. So when I am catching myself adrenalizing, I know now to catch and say, okay, wait.
You’re rushing, you’re, you’re gripping, you’re being aggressive in your body language as you go through the day. How can we slow this down? And what we find is, well, what I found was I was treating. Really basic skills like brushing my teeth, you know, typing out emails as if they were super, super important, like must do.
Terrible things will happen if I don’t do them. Whereas those are more just daily administrative tasks. So I had to learn that. To catch and check in with myself. If I’m doing activities that aren’t super important, they need to get done, but they’re not life or death, they’re not urgent. They’re not.
There’s no major consequence. I had to learn to slow down and not treat them like they were such life. And death importance. Now, yes, there are things like deadlines, getting my taxes done, you know, making sure I’m on time to pick up my kids. Those things have to be done. They are important, but I don’t have to show up in my body in this urgent, impatient, aggressive, rushed, you know, life or death.
Body. I don’t have to show up that way. And can I check in and reregulate myself, do some breathing, slow things down and remind myself these things aren’t life or death. They’re not important. Yes, I feel anxious, but can I change how I respond to that anxiety and adrenaline I have in my body? So that’s core.
It’s, it takes some time, it takes some work. This took me about a year to slowly catch when I was doing this rushing adrenalizing behavior, I had to sometimes look at my schedule and go, okay, I do tend to adrenalize more in the mornings. That’s the truth. I do tend to do adrenalize more in the morning. So in the morning, what can I schedule?
Two, make sure I’m being more intentional about slowing down. Okay, so number four is avoiding hard tasks through engaging with busy work. This is so important. You might find that there are some tasks you need to get done that are important. You’ve identified them as important, and because they create anxiety for you.
You avoid them. And when you avoid them, you feel terrible about avoiding them and you know it’s not right and you don’t wanna be avoiding them. And so what you do is you say, it’s fine. I know I need to get that thing done. That’s a high priority task. I. So what I’ll do is I’ll just go and clean the kitchen.
That would be, you know, that’s a thing I also need to do. And so you go and start cleaning the kitchen because you wanna feel like you’re being proactive and productive, but you don’t wanna feel guilty for not doing that important thing. So you go and clean the kitchen. Once you clean the kitchen, you notice the trash needs to get taken out.
So you take that out too, and then you finish taking out the trash and you still are thinking, Hmm, I really need to get that one task. Done. But you know, I know I’m not not feeling ready yet and so I’m gonna engage in some other busy work, maybe tidying a drawer or you know, things that feel like you’re being busy, but you’re actually not getting the tasks done.
I personally have had times where I’ve spent the whole day feeling productive, feeling like I was getting things done, but really I just spent the day doing. The one or two level importance things, and at the end of the day, feeling anxious, feeling angry at myself because I spent the whole day doing busy work instead of actually getting the thing done that pushes the needle forward.
I cannot tell you how many times I have done this. It has been one of the biggest sources of anxiety in my work. This is a big one for therapists. We tend to avoid doing our notes and we will find. Any job that we can do to avoid doing notes because notes are annoying and boring. And then all we’ve done is we’ve pushed it off and created more anxiety.
So what we wanna do here is we wanna acknowledge that yes. Doing that very hard, important thing is going to create some discomfort, but it’s better than the discomfort of doing busy work all day, feeling exhausted at the end of the day, and still now feeling anxious because we still have that hard, important thing to get done.
So I’m gonna very much stress when we talk about scheduling, and we do talk about this in the time management for Optimum Mental Health course. We talk about getting down the things that we have. We get a list of the things we must do, we get a list of the things we should or could do, and we prioritize things based on how important they are and how.
Urgent they are in order to get done. So again, we’re not treating everything like it’s all important. What we wanna do is we wanna get very clear about the priorities, the hierarchy of important to unimportant, and we wanna structure our day based on that sort of, um. Understanding or hierarchy that we’ve created.
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If you think you might have OCD or a struggling to manage symptoms, there is hope. Book a free call@nocd.com. You don’t have to struggle alone. Big hugs. And now let’s get back to the show. Okay, number five. The number five scheduling habit that causes us to have more anxiety is that we say yes to too many things, and usually we do this because we’re afraid of letting people down.
We’re afraid of them judging us. Now, if you have anxiety or a mental health struggle, and if you are in treatment for that or you’re trying to overcome that and get better at managing that, you are going to have to learn how to say no. You are going to have to learn how to not people please, because I always think to myself a saying yes to them is a saying no to me.
Saying yes to them might be saying no to me, and I have to not do that anymore. I have to prioritize myself. I matter. My needs matter. My mental health matters. My rest matters. My sanity matters. And so it’s very, very important that you get very intentional about what you say yes to. There was a period of time, I’ll tell you a story where I was so burnt out and I was so unwell, and a lot of that was to do with the fact that I was trying to do too much, and I had said yes to too many people, and I actually made this little like flow chart of things I was allowed to say yes to.
So the first question was like. Am I saying yes because I want to, or am I saying yes because I feel like I have to, and as you can imagine, if I was saying because I have to, I would have to practice saying no. Now, remember saying no, doesn’t mean you just say no, and that’s it. It’s okay to share with people, Hey, listen, I’m at capacity.
I’m doing my best to try and prioritize my mental health. I’m really sorry. I hope you don’t take this personally, but I’m going to have to say no. I got really good at saying I’m at capacity. Please, if you could understand my need that I have to say no to this, but it does not mean you’re not important to me.
It doesn’t mean that what you are doing, your agenda, the thing that you’ve asked me to do isn’t important. Let’s negotiate on when we can get that done. Another really important piece here in this sort of flow chart was, is this something that I actually have time for? There have been times in my career and in my life as a mom and a wife where I’ve had to say no to really wonderful opportunities because literally there actually was no time because I work at scheduling.
Every day I look at my schedule every single day. I’m very, very, very intentional about it. I am a massive advocate for doing very mindful and intentional scheduling. When I look at the calendar, I have to be honest, there is actually no time for this. Do not take on things if you literally have no time for it.
Again, if you’re putting something on your plate that you actually don’t have time for, you have to understand that it is immediate onboarding of anxiety and stress onto your daily life that you cannot afford that is not healthy for you. We have to protect your needs at all costs. So that’s so important to get really good at saying, I’m so sorry.
I’m at capacity. I’m going to have to say no. All right, we’re on to number six, and this one is so, so important, and I think we have all fallen into this trap way too many times now. The sixth scheduling habit that causes us to have more anxiety is that we use time to measure. Our worth. We do things and we put things into our day thinking that if we do it we’ll be more worthy as human beings.
If I can just get this thing done, then I’ll feel good about myself. And yes, I feel good about myself when I get things done too, but at the end of the day, you wanna make sure that the things on your schedule aren’t things that you’re doing so that you can feel like you’re worthy of. Joy, pleasure treats, love, accolades.
You have to remember here that you are worthy whether you get the things done or not. When I got sick in 2018, I had to wipe my schedule and it was the biggest hit to my self-esteem. That is when I realized that all the busy work and all the tasks and all of the to-do lists were being done so that I would feel good about myself and I had to learn to feel good about myself, whether I’m achieving or not.
I had to start to learn that I was worthy and valuable and lovable. Whether I was a shining star or I was someone who was struggling to get up in the morning, these were massive mental health mindset shifts I had to make, and it allowed me to see. Just how conditional my self-love was for myself. I was only treating myself kindly if I got all of the tasks done.
So what we wanna do here is we wanna shift to being in a mindset, in a place where every day. We are thoughtful. We put aside time to take care of what the things that are important, the musts and the shoulds, and then we can look at the coulds and see if we’ve got space to slide them in. We wanna schedule sleep and pleasure first.
We do not just schedule sleep and pleasure once we get the to-do list done because. There’s always gonna be a to-do list. It’s always gonna be there. It’s probably always gonna dominate you. My to-do list right now is so long. There is literally no way I will ever get it done, and so I have to be okay.
When I put my head down on the pillow at night, I have to remind myself, you did the best you could. You did a great job. None of these things determined your worth. I. You were intentional. You were good at getting the things done that you said you were going to get done, and it’s enough rest easy. Now, my friend.
It’s, you know, again, rest easy my friend. I have to repeat that. You are enough whether you got them done or not. Another really important thing here is catch how you’re using scheduling to try to manage your anxiety. If you’re someone who has an anxiety disorder, I. OCD, any type of anxiety disorder or even depression catch whether you are using the schedule to reduce or remove uncertainty.
Are you spending too much time focusing on the schedule and making sure this happens at this time, and can I squeeze it in because it is likely that that is becoming a compulsion like we talked about before. Also avoiding the scheduling process. Avoiding setting time to really look at your calendar is also an avoidant compulsion, and one we want to catch.
This must be a balanced and moderate. Flexible practice. It’s sort of something where we do some scheduling, but we don’t do it to the degree that we are being meticulous and compulsive. We allow things to not go well. We allow things to fall off the on, you know, fall off the wagon. But we’re also not doing that as a way to reduce or remove anxiety.
We’re not in constant avoidance. We sit down, we look at the schedule, we acknowledge what we have to do. We’re kind to ourselves. We look at the schedule and say, does this harness a healthy mental lifestyle for me? There is an amazing resource which I’m going to encourage you to look up. It’s called the Healthy Mind Platter.
It was designed by Danielle Siegel and David Rock, and is a beautiful visual of the seven important factors we must include in our day for optimum mental health. Now, this is so beautiful and I love that they did this because it’s similar to the healthy pyramid, the food pyramid we used to have, but this is for optimum brain matter.
It’s talking about the things we must do to really nourish our brain and anxiety and depression, and mental health is a brain disorder. These are things we want to make sure we’re having time for, includes downtime. In time, which is like therapy and journaling and mindfulness. It’s physical time, it’s sleep time.
It’s time where you’re learning something. We wanna try to implement this as much as we can, but again, we don’t want to over schedule. We don’t wanna over commit. Maybe from today you take one. Baby, step towards these concepts and strategies and just implement one. Try them for a week. Give yourself some time to get that to be a new habit.
Then you come back, listen to this again, and add on the next thing. A lot of these are actually taking things out, not just adding things in, taking out things from the day, rescheduling things to more realistic timeline, checking in and not. Acting from a place of urgency and adrenalizing is gonna be super key as well.
At the end of the day, this must be a compassionate act that you do for yourself. I want you to leave here in this episode, feeling empowered to use your schedule as a way to supplement and compliment your recovery. It has been a huge piece of my recovery with multiple mental health struggles and difficult times in my life, and every single time I know I can rely on my schedule and I know I can trust myself more now because I hold myself to my schedule without getting caught up in avoidant behaviors or busy work or people pleasing.
I know I’m holding that boundary for myself for my own mental health. Now the last thing I want you guys to think about here, I actually done a whole episode on this called the Rest to Productivity Ratio. You want to make sure that there is a rest to productivity ratio that suits you, and that’s going to be different for every single person.
There are weeks when I’m not feeling well, where my rest to productivity ratio. More even, right? They’re more like one-to-one and that I have to rest more. There will be seasons in my life where I’m feeling medically and mentally well, and maybe I can push a little harder with productivity, but I want you to be flexible in this.
What is somebody else’s rest to productivity ratio is not yours. We are not here to compare. There’s no right way to do it. They might be in a season where they are really in a. High productivity period of their life. It’s okay if that’s not you. It’s okay if you need to slow down a little bit and take time to rest and recover and get your therapy homework done, and practice your mindfulness skills and connect with fellow human beings who are going through the same similar things that you’re going through.
So there you have it. They are the six. Scheduling habits that are increasing your anxiety, and hopefully you’ve left here with some really strategic, helpful, effective concepts and skills that will help you to create a schedule that provides you a platform to thrive. To have more confidence, to have less anxiety, to feel like you can trust yourself again, that has been my experience and I know it can be yours as well.
If you’re interested, head over to cbtschool.com/time management. We have a complete time management course that I created specifically for. People who have mental health struggles, because I know that most of those courses and books do not consider that, and so I hope you find that as helpful as the rest of our students have.
All right guys, I’ll see you in the next episode. Please note that this podcast or any other resources from cbtschool.com should not replace professional mental health care. If you feel you would benefit, please reach out to a provider in your area. Have a wonderful day, and thank you for supporting cbt school.com.