Search Results for: shala Nicely

Ep. 134: Giving and Receiving Meditation

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving.  This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises.  In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too.  This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation. Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation:Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness, but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself.Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale.Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing.Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath.As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like.Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation.Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness – something good -to this person with each out-breath.Now letting go of what you or the other person may need, and just focusing on the sensation of breathing compassion in and out and sending something good. “In for me and out for you.” “One for me and one for you.”If you wish, you can focus a little more on yourself, or the other person, or just let it be an equal flow—whatever feels right in the moment. Or you can send something good to more than one person.Allowing your breath to flow in and out, like the gentle movement of the sea – a limitless, boundless flow – flowing in and flowing out. Letting yourself be a part of this limitless, boundless flow. An ocean of compassion. Gently opening your eyes. OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conferencehttps://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/March 7 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm MSTDenver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson StDenver, CO 80218 United States I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely’s amazing blog post about the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD.”https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/

Ep. 131: Does Khloe Kardashian Have OCD?

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.  In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.” In response, Khloe explained: “Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.  This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?  Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.  In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.  One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?” Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.  In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.  In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.  Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5)A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2):Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2):Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts.B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition.It is important that we specify if the symptoms are accompanied by good, fair or poor insight, as this can help us differentiate between the diagnosis of OCD and other mental illnesses that may look the same.With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true.With poor insight: The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true.With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true.D. The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder, differential diagnosis or set of symptoms In an effort to really give you a good understanding of other diagnostic possibilities for someone showing similar, but not exact symptoms, I wanted to address some symptoms and disorders that would need to be RULED OUT before treatment. The reason for this is that small differences in the symptoms may drastically change the course of correct treatment. This is a crucial part of the assessment process, done by a therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or psychiatric nurse.  The first is perfectionism which can be divided into two categories, adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is a type of perfectionism that improves the quality of someone’s life whilemaladaptive perfectionism negatively impacts a person’s life. Research has shown that both adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists have high personal standards, but failing to meet those standards can have a negative impact.  Perfectionism can also be categorized by orientation. Self-oriented perfectionism is perfectionism that is pushed by the individual person. Self-oriented perfectionists are very hard on themselves, set very high standards for themselves and have rules and expectations that are often unreasonable. Socially prescribed perfectionism is perfectionism that occurs due to societal expectations. This might include the expectation to get good grades in order to have a good life or having to have the “perfect” body to be loved.  It is also important that we address the similarities and differences between OCD and OCPD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5), OCPD is explained as “a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.” People with OCPD have an unhealthy expectation of achieving perfection and have an excessive devotion to work at the expense of leisure time and close personal relationships. They are often inflexible with issues related to ethics and morality and can be seen as judgmental and expect others to live to the same standard.  So, when answering the question, “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I encourage us all to do our best to continue to educate others on the differences between OCD, levels of insight related to OCD, perfectionism, and OCPD. I strongly encourage you all to read Shala Nicely’s amazing blog post about this exact issue, mostly addressing the misuse of the term, “I am so OCD”https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/ocd-is-not-what-you-think/ References used in this podcasthttps://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaceshttps://www.anxiety.org/what-is-the-difference-between-ocpd-and-ocd-and-how-are-they-treated

Ep. 130: You Cannot Skip the Line

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today I talk about how “you cannot skip the line.” This podcast episode is about an event that happened to me a few weeks ago that blew my mind. It pretty much punched me in the gut. Yes, you read that right. It was a hard, hard day. In this episode, I speak about attending a meditation class and being given a very hard lesson. The lesson was, “You cannot skip the line”. Let me tell you more. In this class, I asked what I thought was a simple question. Without expecting it, the teacher taught me a very important lesson that I think will impact me for quite some time.  She responded with “There is a lesson for everyone here. It is important that you do not skip the line here. You must do the work. If you haven’t wrestled with this practice over and over, do not come to me for the answers.”  I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I felt called out. I felt anger.  But, after some time and contemplation, I asked myself, “Is there a pattern here?” And guess what?!  There was. The lesson was that you cannot skip the line to the “know” the answer. When you “skip the line”, you prevent yourself from learning the real process. Knowing will only help for the first time or two. After that, it takes practice and patience.  In this episode, I will walk you through a 4 step process to help you lean in and do the work instead of just asking questions.  These steps include being aware that you cannot skip the line and then catching yourself when you are doing such behavior. The steps also involve being honest with yourself when you are engaging in such behavior instead of staying in the unknown. The goal is to be as patient as you can along the way. And lastly, the most important step involves Compassion, Compassion, Compassion.  I hope this helps you in some way to notice when you are “skipping the line.” Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter. Incredible tools, tips, and mental health resources! Click here for more information. Please check out this excellent blog post by the amazing Shala Nicely, LPC on the problem with saying “I’m so OCD.”

Ep. 102: Managing Sleep Anxiety

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today, we are talking all about Managing Sleep Anxiety.   It is very common for my clients to report significant anxiety at bed time and during sleep.  They might report trouble getting to sleep, racing thoughts while trying to fall asleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up panicking, or ruminating on an event or worry.  In this episode, we are not talking about the specific medical side of sleep disturbances.  We are talking specifically about managing sleep anxiety.  Did you know that more than 40 million Americans suffer from a sleep disorder? (according to the National Institutes of Health). And, did you know that 50% of those with GAD have a sleep disorder? These statistics blew me away and made me realize I need to be addressing this issue more often.  I am sure you will agree that stress and anxiety may increase sleeping problems or make existing problems even worse.  Many will report that their sleep quality is much reduced when they are going through a difficult time in their lives.   But, the real question is, which one comes first? Sleep disorder or Anxiety Disorder? We will discuss this in this episode. In this episode, we also address sleep hygiene, caffeine intake, and the importance of exercise when it comes to managing anxiety. We also talk about the importance of reducing screen time, keeping naps to a minimum and the necessity of seeing a sleep specialist if you are really struggling.  I really hope this episode helps you manage sleep anxiety just a little better. It’s a beautiful day to do hard things, CBT School community!  Before we go, I’d like to remind you about two amazing events coming up and a way for you to give back to the OCD community! International OCD Foundation 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk What: The IOCDF is hosting their 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk in Calabasas on Saturday, June 1, to increases awareness and raises funds for the IOCDF and its Local Affiliates so they can continue their mission.  I will be walking at this one!  There are many walks happening so be sure to check your area if you are interested.  When:  June 1 Where: Juan Bautista de Anza Park | Calabasas, CA Click HERE for more information and to register. International OCD Foundation Annual Conference What: Since 1993, the Annual OCD Conference has been the only national meeting focused solely on obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and related disorders. The unique event allows people with OCD and their loved ones to learn about the latest OCD treatment and information alongside the mental health professionals who care for them. The Conference features more than 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars as well as nearly two-dozen support groups and various evening events. Presenters include some of the most experienced and knowledgeable clinicians and researchers in the field, as well as people with OCD and family members sharing their stories about life with OCD. When:  July 19-21 Where: JW Marriott Austin, Austin TX Click HERE for more information and to buy tickets. Giving Back During the month of May, Shala Nicely is giving 100% of her royalties from Is Fred in the Refrigerator? Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life to the International OCD Foundation for the conference scholarship fund. In celebration of the one-year anniversary of Fred’s publication, she hopes to raise enough money to send at least 5 people in need to the conference.  And with your help, we can send even more! As Shala shares in the Fred chapter “Changing the OCD Mind,” going to her first IOCDF conference was life-changing: she finally learned about exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) for OCD and actually tried the therapy on her own, realizing with amazement that ERP gave her the power to reclaim her life.  If you have OCD, know someone with OCD, treat OCD, or have ever been curious what OCD is really like, please purchase a copy of Fred. As I wrote in my endorsement of the book, “Is Fred in the Refrigerator? is a stunning story of growth, perseverance and hope. Shala beautifully details how mental illness shaped her life, taking us with her on her brave journey through perfectionism, shame and fear. This book is the perfect combination of entertainment, education and validation for those who are on their journey to recovery from OCD, but also for any human being who wants to live courageously and joyfully.” 100% of the royalties from every book sold will directly support sending people with OCD to the IOCDF conference, where they will learn that they, too, can reclaim their lives. Thank you!

Ep. 100: The Mental Health Virtual Party of The Year

100th Episode Virtual Party! Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This episode is a very special one for us.  We are celebrating out 100th Episode and we are having a VIRTUAL PARTY! At this party, we want you to celebrate this wonderful community of brave and courageous people who stand by each other as we go through hard things and we do hard things. For this virtual party, we invited some of our favorite guests and asked them to share some wisdom, a funny story or dance the night away with us.  First up, we have Ethan Smith who was on Ep. 53 (How Advocacy “Keeps Me Well”: Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate) and he starts the evening off in the most glamorous way.  Sheva Rajaee who was Ep 45 (FIVE Roadblocks to Anxiety Recovery (w/ Sheva Rajaee) shares a wonderful story about Octopi and how adaptable they (and we) are.   Chris Tronsdon who was on Ep 97 (The Emotional Stages of Recovery – Rebuilding Life After OCD with Chris Tronsdon) shared a wonderful and inspiring story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and then led us into a fabulous dance.  Nathalie Maragoni from Ep 65 shared her love for our community and how proud she is of us all.  Shala Nicely from Ep 16 (Guilt, Shame and being “SO OCD” with CBT ROCKSTAR Shala Nicely), Ep 36 (This EASY tool Might Change Your Way of Coping with Anxiety with Shala Nicely) and Ep 78 (Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others) Shared her words of wisdom and also has a wonderful and generous gift she is sharing with the OCD community.  Catherine DeMonte from Ep 95 (Love vs. Fear with Catherine DeMonte) shared a wonderful piece about how we must choose love over fear and allow love to lead us.  Catherine always has beautiful things to share with us.  Jon Hershfield from Ep 42 (Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) And Ep 85 (Harm OCD with Jon Hershfield) as always brings humor and wit to our interactions.   Michelle Massi from Ep 84 (How to Manage Social Anxiety (with guest, Michelle Massi, LMFT) Beautifully shares what she loved about being on Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast and we 100% cannot wait to have you back on Michelle.  Alegra Kastens, our fabulous and hard-working CBT School assistant gives us a huge dose of inspiration and support with her beautiful words of hope and faith.  Thank you, Alegra!  Of course, no party is complete without Jeremy Quinlan from Ep 99 (Making The Choice to Embrace Panic with Jeremy Quinlan) who shows us late and always causes trouble.  Thank you, Jeremy, for showing your handsome face!   The lovely and wise Zoe Gillis from Ep 19 (Nature just might be the ULTIMATE Mindfulness Tool with Zoe Gillis) shared how she experiences parties and brings a unique and thoughtful approach to our 100th episode (always making me think outside the box). And, true to form, Patrick McGrath from Ep 64 (Don’t Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath) brings his hilarious jokes and firm direction for those who are working on anxiety and recovery.   And, last but not least, Chrissie Hodges from Ep. 67 (Grieving the Losses of Mental Illness) shares a powerful message for those who are in the throes of anxiety and OCD recovery.  I just adore her thoughts and wisdom.   I cannot thank you all enough for all of your support and excitement. Thank you for joining us for this virtual party!  I have loved every minute of this podcast…all the minutes of recording, editing, and preparing.  Thank you so much, CBT School community! Here is to another 100! 

Ep. 78: Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others

Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast! Recently on the podcast, I shared my own personal journey of struggling (and now managing) significant anxiety, disordered eating and life stressors. It was a scary, yet brave thing for me to do and I am so glad I did.  Because I am constantly telling others that “It is a beautiful day to do hard things,” I figured I have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.   It was such an amazing experience to hear many of your reflections and own personal stories on these difficult issues.   What surprised me was that one of the most common questions I heard from you guys (my lovely CBT School community and YAY Podcast listeners) was, “HOW do I share my story?”  So many people reached out and shared that they wish they had the courage and “know-how” to start telling others about their journey with mental illness.  Maybe you want to empower others?  Maybe you want to get it off your chest?  Maybe you want to reduce the stigma around your own disorder and mental health struggles?  So, you know what I did? I called the person I most respect when it comes to sharing her story, Shala Nicely.   Together we recorded a podcast episode and talked about what you might want to consider when making the decision to share your story.  Shala shared many beautiful personal examples of her own process of writing a memoir about her journey with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and how she handled the ups and downs of this process.   Shala and I also talked about HOW to share what you are struggling with a friend or loved one.  Shala gives some wonderful tips to decide who to share with and why it might not be who you would have first considered.   What no one can prepare you for is your own mental roller coaster that occurs when you share information about yourself.  We also address self-criticism and dealing with what I call “sharing remorse” or what Brene Brown calls a “vulnerability hangover” after telling someone your deep dark secrets.  One of the things I love the most about Shala is that she is honest and open about the ups AND the downs of sharing.  She shares what it is like for her to handle negative feedback and how she manages that through Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).   I hope this helps you come to a decision for yourself.  

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety (Interview with Jon Hershfield)

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Jon Hershfield Shares How To Have A Wise Relationship With Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations You guys know how much I LOVE breaking down ALL THINGS ANXIETY and then deliver it in easy and helpful ways.  In today’s episode, I am THRILLED to share Jon Hershfield’s wisdom with you.  He is a genius at breaking things down into easy-to-understand ways. For this episode, I reached out to some trusted and respected Mental Health Professionals for input.    I asked if they could share some of the unskilled advice that some of their clients have received from their previous therapists or medical professionals. During our time together, Jon addressed how some advice for anxiety can be problematic and Jon shared his INCREDIBLE knowledge and wisdom on how to manage anxiety and obsessions in a mindful and rational way. We discuss topics such as: Why can’t I just distract myself from the thoughts? Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts? Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying? What about squashing thoughts like a bug? If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something? My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed I understand I can get these scary thoughts to go away by thinking positive and using The Law of Attraction. About Jon: Jon is the author of  When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder .    Hershfield is also the Co-Author of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully with Shala Nicely and The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with Tom Corboy.  Jon has a private Practice in Baltimore and uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for the treatment of Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) OCDbaltimore.com  The OCD and Anxiety Center of Greater Baltimore Twitter: CBTOCD Facebook: @JonHershfield Click here to read about how Mindfulness can help you.

Could I Have PTSD or Trauma?

Kimberley: Could I have PTSD or trauma? This is a question that came up a lot following a recent episode we had with Caitlin Pinciotti, and I’m so happy to have her back to talk about it deeper. Let’s go deeper into PTSD, trauma, what it means, who has it, and why we develop it. I’m so happy to have you here, Caitlin.

What Keeps Us Going (With Shaun Flores) | Ep. 361

When things get hard, it’s really quite difficult to find a reason to keep going. Today, we have an incredible guest, Shaun Flores, talking about what keeps us going. This was a complete impromptu conversation. We had come on to record a podcast on a completely different topic. However, quickly after getting chatting, it became so apparent that this was the conversation we both desperately wanted to have. And so, we jumped in and talked about what it’s like in the moments when things are really difficult, when we’re feeling like giving up, we are hopeless, we’re not sure what the next step is. We wanted to talk about what does keep us going. 

CBT therapy for OCD: Techniques, Examples, and Effectiveness

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) describes a group of science-backed methodologies proven to treat a multitude of mental health conditions. ERP (exposure and response prevention) is a type of CBT that is considered the gold standard treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). There are many different therapies available and it can overwhelm sufferers when trying to figure out which would be most helpful in their recovery. It is important to understand that certain therapies work better for certain disorders.